Robot Chicken: Star Wars

What in the is --

So I threw the senate at him.

The whole senate!

True story!

My God, that is so funny.

You made it come out of my nose.

Go for papa palpatine.

You have a collect call from...

Darth vader.

I got to take this. Hold on.

Vader, how's my favorite sith?

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa. Whoa.

Just slow down.

What do you mean, they blew up the death star?

Who's "they"?

What the hell is an aluminum falcon?

Okay, okay, so who's left?

Are you me?

Well, where are you?

Wait a sec, you been flying around

for two weeks trying to get a signal?

You must smell like feet wrapped in leathery, burnt bacon.

I-I'm sorry.

I thought my dark lord of the sith could protect

a small thermal-exhaust port that's only two meters wide.

That thing wasn't even fully paid off yet.

Do you have any idea what this is gonna do to my credit?

Hang on, I got another call.

What?! I'm very busy right now!

Well, where are they going?

All right.

Um, just get me a Turkey club.

Cole slaw, I guess.

I'm not even gonna eat it.

What are you getting?

No, see, I always order the wrong thing.

No, no, no, I'll just stick with that.

Okay, bye.

W-what?

Cherry coke.

Thanks.

Sorry about that.

What? "just rebuild it"?

Real original.

And who's gonna give me a loan, jackhole?

You?

You got an atm on that torso lite-brite?

"Now get your 7'2" asthmatic ass back here,

or I'm gonna tell everyone what a whiny bitch

you were about padamami or panda bear

or whatever the hell her name is.

Jeez, he's crying.

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Come on, come on, don't do that.

Just -- just -- look,

I'm just dealing with a lot of crap right now.

Death star blown up by a bunch of teenagers, you know?

I didn't mean to snap.

O-okay, just get back here.

Okay. Okay, bye.

Y-- I -- I love you, too.

What'll it be, pal?

Martini!

Jee-- my God.

I got to get that transfer to coruscant.

I guess we'll have to eat this boring oatmeal.

It's a trap!

Wow! Admiral ackbar!

Wow! Admiral ackbar cereal!

Colorful marshmallows!

Imitation crab meat!

Your tongues can't repel flavor of that magnitude.

There's a prize in every box.

Admiral ackbar cereal, now with brine shrimp.

Whazuuuuup, ponda!

Let's bust out early

and hit that new cantina across the street.

Come on!

One drink ain't gonna kill you.

Like I'm really gonna eat a bunch of bananas after that?!

He doesn't like you.

I'm sorry.

I don't like you, either.

You better watch yourself.

We're wanted men.

I have the death sentence on 12 systems.

I'll be careful.

You'll be dead!

Gee, ponda, I just don't see how

you can keep designing with no drawing arm.

I'm sorry, but we have to let you go.

- dear.

My keys.

It's almost open. Hold on to this.

Whoa, coming through!

The wall's on fire!

What was that?

It was a lightsaber!

This is my first day!

What the -- Little help?

Welcome to orientation day here on the jolly,

old death star.

There are a few things we want to go over

with you concerning lord vader.

First and foremost, he thinks he has the power to strangle us.

Truth is, he doesn't.

If he ever realized this,

he would kill us with his lightsaber.

Thus, to keep us safe, we'll all pretend to get strangled.

Okay, let's try a practice.

Commander Winston here will assist me.

I'm going to hold out my hand like lord vader,

and he will pretend to be strangled.

Gasping for air.

Grabs throat, yes.

Eyes back, and he's down.

Good show, commander.

Now two of the floor chiefs will retrieve the corpse,

redress him, add a mustache, and he's back to work

as lieutenant Leopold.

Vader has the satisfaction of killing someone,

and we stay amongst the living.

Why, private Perkins over there

has been strangled over 30 times,

haven't you, Perkins?

Good man.

This is awesome!

R2, patch me through.

I want to call Uncle Owen and aunt --

You're George Lucas!

I take it you're here for the "star wars" convention?

I sure am.

Want to see my costume?

Um...

See? I'm a tauntaun.

But I don't have to tell you.

You invented tauntauns.

Well, that's very interesting.

Listen to my tauntaun call!

Nicely done.

Dear God.

My God!

George Lucas!

I love you!

Give me a baby!

Quickly, sir!

Onto my back!

I am your steed.

I have a bad feeling about this.

Dear God.

Well, um...

And I thought they smelled bad on the outside.

Just like in the movie!

Me?

Thank you!

Thank you!

And that was the greatest day of my whole life.

What about when I was born?

Not even close.

But with the blast shield down, I can't even see.

How am I supposed to fight?

Ooh!

Ooh!

Damn it!

What is it?

I never get a spaceship.

I never get anything.

Should we order some Chinese food?

I don't know, I guess.

We'll get some Chinese.

Hello, could we get, um...

What do you think, 5 million tons of kung pao chicken?

That's good.

Yeah, 3 million pot stickers

and one order of scallion pancakes.

Get some fried rice.

5 million tons of fried rice.

Cash or charge? It's -- hold on.

We're just gonna gobble him up when he gets here, right?

Yeah, of course. Cash, then.

That mother--

I got to get that transfer to the death star.

Mr. president, your vitals all check out fine.

There is just one thing.

Your midi-chlorian count is extraordinarily high.

Does that mean that I'm one of them,

whatcha call 'em, jedis?

Not tonight.

I'm tired, honey.

You're not tired.

You want to have a threesome.

I'm not tired.

I want to have a threesome.

Get me condi.

Sorry, "w."

Big Mac attack. Yee-hoo!

Hey, hey, whoa!

What the dilly?

Saber beats rock.

What in the hell?