Awkward.

Previously on Awkward...

Loser girl becomes a loser burnout.

You are such a cliche.

Your friends are supposed to stay on your side.

You're starting to fixate.

My reality felt like solitary confinement.

Let's just get outta here.

Collin and I had been seeing each other for weeks,

but we hadn't felt the need to DTR.

We were beyond it.

Because when it came to him, I was all-in.

Not to mention DTRing was for suckers.

Dude, your hair's smoking.

Holy fuck, you're on fire.

What the hell?

I loathed hanging out in the Sanctuary.

But it was the only place

Collin and I could be together hater-free.

And Monday mornings definitely brought out the dregs.

It was like an AA meeting.

All the addicts needed their fix

to make it through the week.

Thank God I wasn't one of them.

I gotta go.

Wait, no, no, no.

Please, just one more.

That's how it started for me too.

I can walk away anytime I want.

Way to make an effort, Hamiltrick.

Nice bra.

Okay, it is an hour-long class.

Romeo will still be here when it's all over.

Well, it's that time of year again

when we put out a new edition of Experior.

Does anybody know what Experior means?

Experior is a superhero

who possess the power of telekinesis

and extra-dimensional time travel.

It's Latin for "Let it be printed,"

and it's also the name of our literary magazine.

Now you will all be submitting an essay

for this year's issue,

which, judging by the level of talent in this room,

should look more like a flyer.

This year's topic... Heroes and villains.

- Hey. - Oh, I'll be right back.

- Yeah? - I need your help.

And quite frankly, you need mine.

I overheard Principal Cox talking about

another round-ee-round of pink slips.

That's just talk.

Oh, yeah?

Look what I found on my desk this morning.

That's a phone message.

Yeah, but it could have just as easily been a pink slip.

Who are you?

Valerie Marks, Guidance Counselor.

And more recently, choir leader,

cheer coach, drill team mentor.

Oh, a woman of many trades.

Oh, no, only one.

I hate doing all that other crap.

I'm just trying to make myself indispensable.

Why are you here?

There's a district-wide video competition,

the winner of which gets...

Drum roll.

A nurse for a month.

Our nurse was cut?

Let's just say she went gently into that good night.

- EE Cummings. - Dylan Thomas.

Who cares what the nurse's name was?

If I win this thing, it'll increase my profile

and make me even more indispensable--

and you, if I can borrow your students.

Will this project interfere with my teaching schedule?

- Just for a week. - Perfect.

Drama.

Intrigue. Suicide.

Drugs. Depression.

Friendship. Love.

Alcoholism.

Freeze frames.

These delightful and somewhat scary words

describe my favorite TV genre,

the After...

School...

Special.

ASS for short.

I was addicted to them.

Uh, you might want to explain that,

unless you brought a time machine.

I did not.

After-school specials were made-for-TV movies for pubes--

pubescents-- back in the day,

which dealt with controversial subjects

and socially relevant issues.

Lifetime movies for teens.

And I need a crackerjack team of writers and filmmakers

who can make it happen.

We'll meet after school this week.

Feel free to ask your friends to participate.

But only the attractive ones.

We're talking HD-friendly.

Uh-uh.

Ugh, the ASS is gonna be a train wreck.

- What should we do in it? - Nothing.

Now that I'm grounded,

after school is the only time we get to spend together.

Yeah, but I don't think we can get out of it.

Oh, yes, we can.

Have you been crying? Your eyes look bloodshot.

I guess I just got a little emotional

when I found out about my mom.

Did something happen to L-dog?

She sprained her back.

Oh, no. Oh, I gotta call her.

No, don't do that.

She doesn't want anyone to know.

She's embarrassed.

Oh, because it happened during sex?

I can neither confirm nor deny.

Hmm, I see.

I bet that Kevin's a real stingray in the sack.

Collin and I have to go straight home after school,

and we can't be in your awesome video.

We're so bummed.

If I had to guess what your parents were doing,

I'd say the pile driver.

Or maybe the backwards jellyfish.

Why does Collin need to be there?

My mom needs help getting to the bathroom

until my dad gets home.

You are released.

I take that back.

Must have been the dirty Santa Claus.

Are you trying to torture yourself,

or are you just a straight-up creeper?

I am just trying to wrap my head around

how the hell this happened.

Why do you care?

Jenna is a ho-bag slut machine

who humiliated you in front of the world.

Yeah, but somewhere deep down, she's still my friend.

You are so nice, it's annoying.

The subject matter for the after-school specials

ran the gamut from drunk moms to teenage prostitution

to rheumatoid arthritis.

Is that funny to you, blondie?

How funny you think it was for poor Carol Ann,

a skater on her way to Olympic gold

who woke up one day and couldn't fit

her fat elephant feet into her size 6 skates?

Not funny at all.

Even though every ASS had a different message,

they had the same six steps to get you there.

Number one,

establish the problem of the main character,

the troubled teen.

Can I play her?

Only if we end up doing porn star runaway

or eating disorder.

Speaking of slutty,

how did Jenna get out of this?

Can't talk about it.

Let's just say it involved a sex injury.

Of course it did.

I have an idea.

Why don't we do a story

about a troubled loser girl

who's so desperate for attention

she tries to commit suicide, fails,

then defies all odds by becoming popular

and then manages slowly but surely

to alienate everyone in her life,

and then she dies?

I think it's...

perfect.

All we need is a title.

How about, What Are We Gonna Do About Jenny?

I think we have a winner.

What Are We Gonna Do About--

Jenna.

Seriously, you guys, what are we gonna do about her?

I'm confused.

I thought you never wanted to talk to her again.

I don't wanna talk to her. I wanna yell at her.

I kinda wanna smack her.

I tried to stay out of it, but I can't just sit back

and watch Jenna drift into Amanda Bynesville.

So what are we gonna do?

I think we're gonna need some guidance

or some counseling.

Or some guidance counseling.

What do we do if we know one of our friends

is in trouble?

I don't know, talk to 'em, I guess.

But he, or she, won't listen to us

because he, or she, has been hanging out

with a really bad dude.