The 10 Year Plan

I wanted to go

someplace special tonight.

Romantic.

If you've met someone wonderful,

then you should spoil them.

It's important to find that

special person

you can be yourself around.

Someone you could spend the rest

of your life with.

This calls for a toast.

Here's to relationships.

To first dates

Would you excuse me

for a minute?

Of course.

I'm close

Hang on.

What's up, Myles?

He's so cute and smart.

I really like him.

I think he may be the one.

What kind of puppy

did you pick out?

Puppy?

The one you're imagining in your

dream house.

I have no idea what you're

talking about.

Boston Terrier

Where are you?

No, don't tell me.

Let me guess.

You're only gonna need one guess.

God I wish you could see this.

This guy's ass is so tight you

could bounce a quarter off of it.

Or something bigger.

Nice visual while I enjoy my

romantic dinner.

Well, my date and I are

sharing a connection,

deep meaningful conversation.

I took him

to this amazing restaurant.

Just gave him the red rose.

He's leaving, isn't he?

He just slipped

out the door.

Oh Myles.

Time to initiate

our suicide pact.

I fear the time is upon us.

Death by chocolate?

I'm afraid so.

Text me where you are.

You owe me an orgasm.

I'll make it a double

next time.

Is there gonna be

a next time?

Probably not.

Do you wanna shower at least

before you go?

I didn't break a sweat.

Geez.

Nice place.

It was before my date left me.

Here,

this will cheer you up.

What's this?

It's your birthday present.

My birthday

isn't for two months yet.

I know, i figured you could use

a little "happy" now.

Hello.

You got my favorite!

Of course.

Don't get too excited,

it's not much.

Don't get all emotional on me.

You do have a sentimental side.

That's the day we met.

I made two of them.

One for you and one for me.

I just wanted to do something

that you would like.

Don't make me regret being nice,

alright.

Enough of this sappy crap.

Here is to Men.

Fuck them.

To finding the perfect man.

To friends.

To relationships.

Being single.

Do me a favor.

Don't let me die alone.

You're not gonna be alone.

I'm gonna be there holding a

pillow over your face.

This is to the hangovers we're

gonna have tomorrow.

So we agree?

To being hungover?

No.

That we won't grow old alone.

I'm never gonna be alone.

In fact, I'm already drafting a

list in my head of all the things

I'm gonna do to our waiter.

Most of them are still illegal in

forty-two states.

Hey.

Hey, I'm serious.

Come on, you know that I'm always

gonna be here for you.

Alright, I can tell you're

obsessing over this already.

I'll make you a deal.

If in ten years we're both still

single and neither of us have

found anybody,

we'll be boyfriends.

A couple.

Together, forever.

A backup plan

You're serious?

Sure.

Here, you're the one who's going

to school to be a fancy attorney.

Write something up,

I will sign it.

Make it legally binding.

So I have ten years then?

To find love before you're,

thirty-five.

Here's to being in love.

Here is to ten years of freedom.

You happy now?

Unbelievable.

Here they are.

Made you those appetizers you like

with the imported goat cheese.

Please sit down.

I will.

But, trust me, you don't want

dinner to burn.

It does smell great.

What is it?

It's Eggplant Sorrento.

Are you kidding me?

That's my favorite.

I know.

I called your mother.

You're making my mom's

Eggplant Sorrento?

Well you've been working a lot recently,

so I thought it would be nice

to do something extra special for you.

I can't believe you called my mother.

That's a tad scary.

Sit.

Relax.

That's an eighty-six cabernet.

I'll be back in a few.

What's up?

Want to watch a movie tonight?

Can't, man.

Got plans already.

They start with a cold beer and

end with a sticky towel.

All the best nights do.

Looks like it's just you and me

again tonight buddy.

Hey, you're the one that insists

on being straight.

Why don't you just come out

with me tonight.

You give me ten minutes

I will get you an ass so hot

you can eat breakfast,

lunch and dinner off of it.

I prefer my partners not to have

the same equipment as me.

Not me.

I prefer the same, or bigger.

Hey, your loss.

Hello David.

Say hello to David.

Is it really that easy for you?

That's the beauty of being a man.

Look, there's no wining and dining.

Five minutes we'll have had a beer,

fifteen minutes we'll be in the sack,

sixteen minutes I'll be home

watching pay-per-view.

It's amazing,

you should try it.