Love

Hi.

Hello.

How's it goin'?

- Good. - Good.

I was thinking we should order some food.

Yeah, sure. Okay.

Yeah. I'm not hungry now, but I figured I will be soon.

Right. Right, right, right. Oh, yeah, let's, um...

Yeah. Hope it's not too lame to just hang out here.

- No, no. It'll be fun. - Okay, cool.

- Okay. Cool, all right. - Let's order.

- You wanna order pizza? - No.

I have menus.

These are pretty good.

I think Silverlake Ramen's in here somewhere.

- Good. - Ooh.

Ye old drug box.

Oh. Okay.

- Should we see what's in here? - Sure.

Yeah, let's check it out. I'm curious.

- Have a look-see. - Let's see what we got here.

- Ooh. Edible... - Okay.

Um...

- Ecstasy. - Mmm-hmm.

Got some cocaine.

Got a real party in there.

Why, you want it?

Are you serious, or...

I mean, not for us to do together, 'cause I have no use for this, but...

Right. Yeah, uh...

No, I'm... I'm good. Thank you.

Was that bad for me to say? You can tell me if it was.

No, no, I was just more surprised that you...

- Never mind. - I don't know what's, like,

private about your sobriety and stuff so I'll just...

keep out of it.

No, I... I brought it up. So...

It's fair game. Ask away.

No, I just...

I figured if you had it around,

you'd be tempted to do it or something.

I... I don't know.

Yeah, I mean, I should throw this shit out.

That's what they'd tell me in AA. It's definitely...

dumb of me to keep it around.

Mmm-hmm.

So, do you think you would, or...

not, or...

Uh, it's just...

I think somebody would pay me money for all this stuff.

Whatever. Fine. Fuck it.

Hmm.

All right, there's more.

There's more, okay. All right.

Just gonna throw out all the fun ones.

Got this beauty from a guy in Venice.

- He makes them with his wife and kids. - Aw...

There's something really charming about, like, a family business, you know?

There should be a Ziploc bag full of mushrooms in the freezer.

Oh. Okay.

- Did you find it? - Yeah.

Ooh.

These are some special mushrooms.

I had one of the best days of my life tripping on these bad boys at Legoland.

One of my best days was at Legoland and I wasn't even high.

Feels like such a shame to throw 'em out. Are you sure you don't want 'em?

Nah. I'm not really a shrooms guy.

- Have you ever done shrooms? - No.

- I know that's lame, but... - It's not lame.

- I don't care. - I mean, I almost did them.

My buddies and I were gonna do 'em on a camping trip,

but then we got rained out...

But I feel like since I'd made the choice to do them...

- Mmm-mmm. - Hello?

Ah!

- Hello, hello. - Hey.

Uh, where's Randy at?

- I don't know, his house? - He's not here?

- Randy! - Maybe he was here earlier, but...

- Randy! - Yeah, I don't think he's here.

Randy!

Hey.

Hey, what's up?

Randy, I told you if Mickey comes home, you have to tell her that you're here.

Sorry, I... I didn't want to bother her.

I was just in the back reading a book about dinosaurs.

Yeah, it's cool. Just a heads-up next time would be nice.

For sure. Yeah.

Man, I love your guys' place.

It's, like, 100 times nicer than my place.

My place is dank and dirty and gross.

You guys have towels and toothpaste...

So what are you guys up to tonight?

I don't know. We're just gonna kick back.

Maybe order some food, watch a movie...

Kind of a low key thing.

I was in the middle of throwing out some old shrooms.

Ooh, really?

Just gonna throw 'em out?

- Do you want 'em? - Yes, please.

I didn't know you were into shrooms.

Oh, well, a few years ago, I spent a whole summer

taking peyote with some skaters and it changed my life.

I want that summer.

Last time I did shrooms I had a bad trip

and I haven't touched 'em since.

- Oh, you swore them off? - Oh, no way.

I've just been waiting for an opportunity to do it right.

- I can't wait to take back the shrooms. - This is perfect.

You three should do shrooms tonight.

Ooh, yes, very cool.

Yeah, I got no plans. Let's do it.

- Oh, I don't know. - Yeah.

- Cool. - Yeah, that would be fun.

Okay, cool.

- Yeah. - Very cool. Yeah.

And I can be, like, the sober guide. Your guru.

I'll set it all up. Make sure you guys have an excellent trip.

Fantastic. Well, I'm gonna go get my work clothes off,

- and then we'll get to the magic. - I am gonna take a bath.

- What? - What?

- Are you sure you're okay with this? - Yeah.

This is gonna be fun.

Yes. Should be fun.

Are you scared?

I'm a little scared.

It's totally normal before your first trip.

Are you thinking, like, "What if it's a bad trip

and it breaks my brain and I'm never the same?"

I wasn't thinking that... no,

but I'll gladly throw that onto the pile.

Uh, no, I guess...

Honestly, I just...

I feel a little weird

doing drugs in front of you when you're sober.

It doesn't feel right.

That's so sweet, but,

I never really had an issue with shrooms, you know?

- It's not like a real trigger for me. - Mmm-hmm.

And I think everybody should try them once.

They're incredible.

Like, I don't fully trust someone who's never tripped.

It's like trusting someone who still has a Hotmail account.

Oh, yeah. It's like when you meet somebody who hasn't seen Die Hard.

And you're like... "Who are you?"

- Yeah, everybody's seen Die Hard. - You haven't seen Die Hard?

The stems make you trip longer,

but the caps will give you, like, a deeper trip.

- Is that true? - Yeah.

And, the thing is, they taste like shit, but that's great.

They're supposed to. If it tastes like shit, it's a good thing.

No, there's no reason why they have to taste like shit.

Take a sandwich. See, you eat this, it masks the taste

and it provides a good basis in your stomach for digestion.

- Ah, okay. Genius. - Mmm-hmm.

That's good. Smart.

All right. Down the hatch.

Mmm.

So, like, how long does it typically take to kick in?

- Ten minutes. - Like, an hour.

Oh.

Getting conflicting reports there.

Oh, that's normal.

It hits some people quicker than others. It's all good.

This actually is a really good sandwich.

That's pretty much what you can do with those things.

I feel like I don't feel anything.

But if you guys said you were feeling something then,

then I'm probably feeling it, too.

- I don't feel anything. - Nah.

What if we dance? Huh?

- That's a good trick. - Okay.

Get your asses up. Come on.

You gotta do it big and loud and stupid!

- Bertie? - Okay, yes.

It gets that mushroom blood straight to the brain.

I'm gonna kill you if you don't get up now.

Come on, Randy.

Move it. Groove it.

More!

Use your whole body.

How you doing there, bud?

I'm good.

Are they kicking in?

Can't say for sure, but it seems like they might be kickin' in.

Okay. This is gonna be fun.

Yeah.

Are they kickin' in?

Hey...

We're free to share bad thoughts here, right?

I don't want to ruin your trip,

but I feel like if I, like,

keep bad stuff in my head and don't share it,

then I'm gonna have a bad trip.

- You know what I mean? Like... - Totally.

It's just like...

I look at this house and I'm like...

"Will I ever own a home like this?"

Or, am I just gonna be somebody who lives in some...

"sad apartment his entire life and then dies?"