Coffee Cat Mama (Mao Si Ma Ma / 貓屎媽媽)

Raisin Bread. Yes?

Could you make me another pot of light roast ice-drip, please?

Yes.

Hey, but you had a pot already this morning.

And you don't like acidic coffee.

I don't know, it grows on me.

I'll leave you to your work.

Have it taken to me.

OK. Thanks.

Sir, a table here.

Hi... Hi.

Could you read my fortune for me?

I haven't had much luck with love lately.

Read what?

You have to buy 3 bags of coffee beans first for a reading!

Three!

Take 6 and you'll get palm reading as well.

Six then!

OK!

I'm not meeting the quota again this month.

I'm not a woman, I can't compete.

You too can have your niche market.

Here come your regulars.

What?

What? I'm not asking you to be a gigolo.

Sherman sells her beauty.

You can sell your brawn.

Let me.

Gorgeous ladies, whoever takes Z bags of coffee beans from me...

Pebble is so valiant today...

...will get a free brawn's fortune-telling by me.

Hopeless.

Brawn's fortune-telling?

What is it?

Fat burning is easy. Toffee doesn't find it queasy.

Miss...

Yes, what can I do for you?

I mean to buy a mug, but I can't decide between yellow and red.

What do you think?

Red is a bright colour, very sharp and good for a girl.

But yellow has the sunshine feel.

That means...?

It's your mug, you make the choice.

Miss, I was asking for your opinion, but it seems you are indecisive.

Why not red? It's feminine.

And take the yellow for your husband. His and hers.

Right! These two then.

Thank you.

I want a cold drink cup for my sis. Any suggestions?

Get the lady a catalog.

Yes! Just a moment.

Here you are. Thanks.

Fei-fei... Yes?

Table No 2 wants a strawberry cake with no strawberries.

They are in a hurry. Thank you.

Alright.

Enjoy.

Sorry! I'll clean it up later.

Sorry! Leave it to me...

This way please.

Marcia.

It's quite full. Yes.

Excuse me...

Yes, what can I get you?

Fan Fart, it's quite full outside. Go give them a hand...

How many times have I told you? No earphones when at work.

How can you hear customers?

One, I can.

I just don't answer your dumb questions.

Two, I am working.

I am working on a blending for this new bean.

Three, even if I have no work on hand,

I am here as a low-profile roaster, not a high-profile barista.

Read my contract more carefully.

I don't believe the contract says you can wear earphones for work.

Buy one and I'll confiscate one.

Earphones.

Brother Fart.

Brother Fart, your lady boss is harsh and stuck-up.

We can't stand it either.

Let's quarter her, juice her and throw her to the sharks.

I asked you to come so that I could pay you for the last set of earphones.

You don't have to care about the feud between me and the witch.

Your bipolar disorder is getting worse.

Last time it was chopping people up, and now it's juicing?

What about next time? Human flesh bun?

Young man, I was doing her a service.

Elder, why?

You know how Brother Fatt put his name on the map?

His name is Fart, so he got fat and...

You are so shallow.

A dozen years ago Brother Laughing got Brother Fart offended.

He single-handedly crushed Laughing's quarters.

You know how cocky Laughing was.

He ripped Brother Fatt's earphones off.

The following day, not a soul could be found in Laughing's quarters.

It's like a plague had wiped everything out.

From then on, a new boss joined the gangland, Brother Fart.

You mean Brother Fart wiped out the Laughing Gang overnight?

The most terrifying thing is, not a body was found.

Four years ago, Laughing was seen in Vietnam.

But he couldn't laugh anymore,

and his name had been changed to Crying.

Crying?

Hey, so if Lady Boss rips off his earphones again, she...

According to the records, you've been downing coffee lately.

I'll pay up at the end of the month.

That goes without saying.

The problem is, you drink during rush hours

which adds to the workload of our baristas.

I think I have to change the rules.

No refreshments allowed for staff during rush hours.

Sherman is a part-time worker, but she outperforms you.

So actually we won't need full time staff.

We can save on MPF and staff perks.

That's good!

But she often comes late and leaves early,

or she doesn't show up at all.

She's irresponsible, but she still outperforms you.

Don't you find yourself incompetent?

I mean to add more flavours to the menu starting tomorrow,

such as milk tea, hazelnut and chocolate, blueberry and...

Hold it! That's like coffee milk tea or sweet soup coffee in local diners!

Ours is a boutique café. I am a barista.

I am not a beverage bar boy in a local tea restaurant.

Grace is a barista too, and your mentor.

She has no objections.

Hardworking indeed.

I know what irks you.

I don't want to make coffee milk tea or sweet soup coffee either.

Now we are at it.

You said you had told your mom about letting me join the barista competition.

You said she's thinking about it.

But it seems you're trying to fool me.

I have a terminal illness.

What terminal illness? Been to the doctor? Decidophobia.

Lady, I did give you a terrific horse for that.

I know, but I couldn't make up my mind whether to press the button!

I don't believe you have never been caught between two choices.

Let me put it this way:

since I had Landlord,

whatever I do or think, I've put his interests first.

So I have never had difficulties in making choices.

If you want to cure yourself of the illness, maybe just do as I have done.

Find someone most important to you in your heart,

then everything will be fine.

Why look at me this way?

Nothing. Just trying to retort.

Right, I am just an employee here.

You mother and daughter are the bosses.

Bosses are always right.

Save your retort.

Don't say that. I have never thrown the weight of a boss at you.

No, you've given me encouragement instead,

saying I should be a good role model for Landlord.

I've been taking your advice, working hard, trying to join the barista competition.

I have spared no efforts in this nine glass training.

It turns out no one has fought for me or backed me up.

I wonder if I've been taken for a ride.

Taking you for a ride?

I dare you to say that again!

Sorry then. I may have crossed the line.

I didn't mean it.

Well, you have been nice to me.

You took me in as your apprentice and have taught me so much.

We have nothing to do with each other after all.

You didn't owe it to me, right?

Right, we have nothing to do with each other,

so I really don't have to care!

What gives?

Women!

Ouch!

Hey!

What happened to your hand?

Got scalded.

Why take this bus?

It's not your route.

Pay for me first.

What are you doing? What are you looking for?

Good I have them.

Your blister needs to be taken care of, or it may become infected.

Put it on first, then use disinfectant when you get home.

You got on this bus to give me band-aid?

Don't bother!

Now get off before it goes too far away.

Scalding needs treatment.

Now give me your hand, let me put it on for you.

You mustn't break the blister. It takes some skill.

If you want to be a doctor, go back to England.

You call me a doctor, then listen to me.

First, pick it up, bend it,

wrap it around the blister, cover it with another plaster.

Disinfect the area once you get home.

Wrap it with gauze and then dress it up.

Don't forget: no breaking...

The blister!

Must you advertise for some blister?

Please, you two are noisy!

Sorry...

How outrageous!