Cougar Hunting

My friend Tyler, a year ago.

He has a perspective without job in a sleepy village in Arizona.

And we call him Hymen, because he on his 21st ...

... his penis just might be rushing through his hand.

And that is to Hymen himself. He has a sexy girlfriend for years ...

... but that keeps the door locked. Or so we thought.

Tyler, met Brit.

I prefer to do this over the phone ...

Stop. Stop. I'm going to do it now.

You're so naughty. Anyway...

I quit, Ty. You are so...

You still lives at home, you have a boring job and you do not want sex.

You want it to be something special, but I also have desires. Like sex.

I have a new friend.

You know Bill? The Car Wash King?

You know those commercials do.

The is ancient.

And you do not have to pick up my photos.

Ty Britney dumped for a rich old bag.

De Car Wash King.

Gênant.

Unbelieveable.

What is that?

Nothing uncles.

And I have suggested to my parents.

Pap?

What cop with you?

She could not pay those titties from her job at Frost & Freeze.

That's an awful lot of ice.

So like all sexy girls Britney arranged a sugar daddy.

Or two, three, four, five. Shit.

It seems that Britney finishes all seniors.

Using these oldsters have condoms? Did they really necessary?

Hymen had to bounce back ...

... and do not behave like a cat, but score a cat.

I should know because I'm his old cock.

I mean his friend Dick.

Just keep going, Tyler. You can do it, man.

In the bag.

HÃ © Tom. How are you? - Hello, Ty.

What are you asked. You had to work?

Oh, I'm fired again.

The chief architect liked my ideas «n ridiculous ...

... and when I called her a stupid bitch ...

... and I was just fired. - Yes, that really sucks.

And you? I thought you went out with Britney.

We're not going together.

I thought she was the one. - Yes, me too.

Bill, two beers.

Make it three. Ladies, looks good.

All right, guys?

You know all the girls you hate?

But once she loved me, Tyler. More than once.

Thank you, Bill. Yet to report anything exciting?

I have been fired. - Cool.

And Britney dumped Tyler. - Who says I got dumped?

That is obvious, Tyler. - You're such a sissy.

You've been a sissy long as we know you.

But enough about that relationship-shit. Look at my cock.

Why? - I went out yesterday ...

That girl from the tattoo shop. - Shayla ...

And I felt like a little experiment.

A threesome or a foursome.

And? - They drugged me.

I remember nothing more. And now my cock fucked.

What is it? - It starts with a C.

Chlamydia. That can get guys.

I do not think so.

It's worse. Then you have chonorroe. That is much worse.

That game with a G. gonorrhea.

No, with a C. - A G.

It is chonorreu, with CH. As in chaos.

Guys, it's not SOA.

I wish it were like that.

It is a tat.

A tat? - a tattoo, acorns.

Do you have a tattoo put on your dick? - I'm not stupid.

I have a tattoo on my dick, but did that girl.

But you can just see what's on it?

Here...?

Go ahead, Tom.

Let's see what our friend has to say.

Nice pants. - Can not on the toilet?

No, that's so gay. - Absolutely gay, Tyler.

Even small see Richard.

All freckles. It is not C but a G.

Wow, it nice and smooth.

Close to the trunk. - Then it appear larger.

Do you let epilation? - No, waxed.

Ingeniously say. Did you have a stiff when they did this?

I think so. - Then you have him do hard again.

Now it's like an accordion. You have to pull it briefly.

Sorry, but you do not touch me excited.

Then see if you see something that inspires it.

Jesus, so cold is not here yet.

Stout, stout, stout.

Throw it out there but.

Girls, let's go.

Ladies, you miss the show.

Free...

Geïnfecteerd.

Infected? - That's what it says.

Fuck, that's not cool.

Dude, you should see positive. Such a long word, impressive.

Is henna? Can I off?

No, it's a tattoo. - Why did you do that?

See if t is off. - You hit on my cock.

Maybe it can laser. - All kits behind the zipper?

Jeremy, what are you doing here? - Everything good?

In Aspen, what a dream.

Run your school a cheerleader?

No, I hunt cougars.

Rich, horny, old women. Guest, Aspen is studded with them.

And they only want to fuck. And they pay for.

Ill. - As long as you produce baby gravy.

Baby-jus?

You should really come. I live with a sexy cougar.

You live in with a cougar?

You can stay with her. - That would be great.

But it is already of March? The season is over anyway?

I'm going there again tonight. Just come.

Cougars. I've been here all scored, so I'm going.

I also have nothing. - Tyler? Other area?

I can not even skiing «n. I'm not going to pack up and away ...

That's Britney.

The Car Wash King. - She dumped you so.

I am going as well. We go to Aspen.

And so we went hunting.

We loaded the car of Tyler with our penises armed.

Target? As many horny cougars diversion.

Unbelievable that Tyler went along, because such a daredevil he is not.

A typical case: You get the boy or the cat ...

... but the cat out of the boy.

Tom, you do not want to spill? I'm just cleaned.

Dude, we take a road trip. - Yes, quiet, Tyler.

Sorry, I hate still Britney.

I get it all right? Would you continue?

What you waiting for? Marriage?

No, you just wait for the right one.

I respect your standards. - Thank you, Tom.

But I had Britney took all night.

I was talking filmed and sent to my mother, to brag.

See that girl? Hot blood. Little mustard on it and gnaw only.

Obviously, Tom.

Do you have her number?

What's that smell?

That taco breaks me.

Already a few miles. - Terrible.

I really shit. - Keep it in a moment.

I can not help it. You have to stop.

True, Tom? In the air? A whole row of drives behind us.

Dude, it is like this.

Keep it up. Dick, you really have to stop somewhere.

I can not stop here. - I poop my pants.

No, not in my car. - This has not happened to me for years.

Do it in this box. - What filthy.

Do it in the box. - No, Tom. Do not.

In the box.

Tyler, I have no choice. I have to shit.

What now? - If I poop, I have to pee.

I can not do anything about that.

Thank you, bro.

Firm. I thought for a moment ...

There is thin. I want a napkin.

Is it on the cover? - You get out there.

Tom, I'll kill you.

I just cleaned it. I hate you.

Welcome to Cougar Town.

Tom, get that shit on my dash.

Quiet, Ty. Once I see trash, I aim 't it.

you feel it? That energy, that style? See if you see cougars.

I see one. Dammit.

Did you see that?

Dude, I see a whole herd. - It's called a gang.

Dammit.

And there she was. As a heavenly vision.

The most perfect woman I had ever seen.

I must have her. - Driving, Dick.

Her hair was like silk.

Macarena, as if God had created.

So you dump stool here.

My God, there it is. 920 Nell.

Dammit.

Unbelievable, bro.

Visitors...

Guys, I'm a few weeks away and you can not stay here.

I knew it.

But you can do right at number 1023.

If you're looking for work, go to the Artisan.

This is a construction site.

Nice frame. It's a big renovation.

Are we really going to sleep here? - No wall is in.

It does have potential.

Guys, I really doubt. - How do you mean?

This is a band, we have no dough ...

... my car is a pigsty ...

... and we know no one here.

So you think we should go back? - Perhaps.

Sorry, but you can not. We drove an end ...

... and this is indeed not super, and we have not a penny.