Lizzie Lazarus

How far is it to the place?

I think, seven more miles, maybe more.

- We gonna make it? - I think so.

- You think so? - Yeah, I think so.

I did a dry run, without her, obviously.

Aliens, though.

I swear to God, this is true.

When Carter was running for president,

he said if he got elected,

he would declassify everything the government had on Area 51.

New Mexico?

Nevada. You're thinking of Roswell.

- Oh. - So, Carter wins,

- obviously. - Obviously.

And then, he doesn't declassify shit.

- Why not? - Exactly.

How do you know this?

I read the newspaper.

Weren't you, like 15, when Carter was elected?

So?

I don't know many 15-year-olds,

who are so up on world affairs.

They keep newspapers

at the library for years after they run.

They don't turn every single one of them into paper mache swans.

Besides,

how many 15-year-olds do you regularly consort with?

Well, it doesn't prove that there are aliens

- living among us. - Oh, be real.

I'm not talking about aliens living among us.

But the odds that we haven't been, at least,

visited by extra-terrestrial life

are infinitesimally small.

Besides, if all this classified information said was,

"We haven't seen shit," why not declassify it?

Hmm. You're just speculating.

Okay.

There was this scientist named "Lazar"

who said he worked in a place

called "Sector Four,"

which is underground near the Papoose Range,

near Papoose lake.

And he said he was contracted by the government...

...to reverse engineer an alien spacecraft

they already had in their possession.

So, you think Bush is gonna do it?

-Declassify, I mean. -Fat chance. That guy's a spook.

He was director of the CIA. He's not giving up any secrets.

I don't buy it.

You think it's harder to believe than this?

-What if she's in heaven? -Don't be childish.

How is that childish?

What if she's really in heaven and, like,

this whole plan works exactly the way you said it,

but we're taking her away from a place she's enjoying?

You know, there are more starving people in America

than there are in the USSR.

- I'm serious, Bethany. - I am, too.

First of all, I don't believe you.

And second of all, I'm trying to have an actual conversation.

That was a serious question?

- "What if she's in heaven?" - Yes, we are--

If we believe what's going to happen, in f--

What about my tone of voice doesn't sound serious to you?

Why the hell are you telling me about Russia?

There are more starving people in America

than there are in the USSR.

And our populations are roughly the same,

give or take 10%.

But when we were little,

our mom used to tell us to finish all our dinners,

because they were a little starving,

communist kids in bread lines in Russia.

As if, we could Federal Express

our leftover Salisbury steak to Vladivostok.

But the truth is,

there hasn't been a famine there since the '40s,

But just like you said, anybody who's anybody knows

that Russia is a place where people starve,

and America's a place

where the streets are paved with milk and honey.

So, in this metaphor, heaven is America,

and we're in communist Russia?

It's an analogy, not a metaphor.

And no. Heaven, like America, doesn't fucking exist.

I mean, maybe,

but not in the way we think it does.

It works as an idea, but what is heaven?

Is Lizzie sitting on a cloud right now,

painting her nails? Or does she not have a body?

Is she gonna watchCheers when it comes back in the fall?

Or is she in one perpetual state of orgasm

stretches out for all of eternity?

And doesn't that get boring, eventually?

Does she get to visit her friends in hell?

Does she get to listen to the cool,

Satan-worshiping, hell music?

Is there a president of heaven? Does she have to shit ever?

Okay, I get it.

I'm just saying heaven, like America, falls apart,

the second you start asking any questions about it.

If everyone succeeds in America, who fails?

If there's someone eating, there's someone starving.

So, if there is an afterlife,

it's probably just like this life,

boring and disappointing, except worse,

because you spent the entirety of your life on Earth,

psyching yourself up to get up there,

only to find out it's...

Cleveland...

Sarasota...

Albany.

Maybe she'll tell us.

Yeah. Maybe she will.

- Oh, shit. - What?

Oh, shit. Oh, shit.

Oh, shit. Oh, shi--

What's going on?

There's something out there.

- What? - See it?

Yeah.

I thought you said we couldn't drive out here.

-We can't. -Then how do you explain that?

Uh, it's probably abandoned.

I think there's someone inside.

What?

I think I see someone inside of the car.

You're imagining things.

Look, it's all covered in shit.

Was it here before?

What are you talking about?

I thought you said you did a dry run.

I meant I put on a heavy pack and walked nine miles.

You didn't do a dry run

-to the actual place? -No!

What the fuck kind of dry run is that?

- Hey listen! - What if,

there's a mountain in the way or a canyon?

Don't be ridiculous.

A canyon?

A car wouldn't even help us in the first place.

Have you ever even been to where we're going?

Jesus Christ.

-What if it's a cop? -Why would it be a cop?

I don't know.

Maybe someone figured out she was missing?

Oh, shit! I told you!

It's not a cop. It can't be.

It's probably like a vagrant or some kids or something.

- We can't let them see it. - Yeah, no shit.

Uh, can we go back and around?

No. It'll take too long.

We pretty much have to go that way to stay on course.

Let me see.

I mean, so what?

-We should just walk by with-- -No, of course not.

Come on. Help me with her.

One, two, three.

One, two, three.

One... ...oh, two, three.

One, two, three.

One, two, three.

One, two, three.

Fuck.

One, two, three.

One, two, three.

One, two, three.

Fuck!

One, two, three. One, two, three.

Why are you still counting?

Because I'm freaking out!

Do you... think they saw us?

Uh, I think we're good.

She's totally faking it.

- She looks so... - Dead?

Like, how could that thing

have ever even been alive in the first place?

Well you can ask her in...

three hours and 22 minutes.

They're gonna drain the battery.

-Is this crazy? -Yep.

-You sure about this Zone thing? -Nope.

Funny, I thought you'd give me some kind of reassurance.

What do you want me to say?

I don't know.

Tell me you're sure it'll work. You read it in that book.

Yeah, exactly. I read it in a book.

You can't believe everything you read.

-But you... think it'll work... -Jesus, Eli.

The Journal of the Folklore Institute,

Volume 13 issue-- Whatever, said

that the native tribes of this region believe

that if we bury Lizzie in The Zone

at the exact moment of the solstice,

she'll come back.

I don't know more about it than that.

The Spiritualists of The Second Great Awakening

claim to have learned it from the Jamestown S'Klallam.

Then it was taken up by the City of Mary.

Cultists, I guess, but they all believed it.