Twisted Metal

Sector 5 harvesting will conclude in ten minutes.

- You heard him. Ten minutes.

Deposit all crops before curfew.

Hurry up! No slacking!

Get back to work!

Daniel, you dead idiot.

I told you to stay out of the deep end.

Dude, where you been?

- I got us a contract. - Fuck off!

- We're both about to fuck off.

Four years, and then we get

two acres of pristine beachfront O.C. property

as our reward.

- "The female has been assigned to domestic work.

"The male, food service."

We got to do four years of this shit?

- We've been stuck in these fields since we were kids.

Did you not hear what I said about beachfront property?

Once we're done, it's blue skies and yellow sands

for the rest of our lives.

What about Adrian?

- Come on, Adrian? It doesn't mean anything.

We're just having a little fun.

- I know. We share a wall.

Do you two assholes ever shut up?

Don't have me report you.

- Mind your fucking business, Tobin!

- Don't make me shove this up your urethra, Tobin.

- No one even likes you! Why are you even talking?

Come on, man.

We're packing our bags, and we're getting out.

- Do I get a say in this at all or what, huh?

- What are you gonna say, fuckhead?

That you're not interested in a better life?

That you don't want to be happy?

You seriously wanna spend the rest of your days

becoming shriveled up and useless like Tobin?

I heard that.

- We wanted you to hear it! - She wanted you to hear it.

Okay, let's do it.

But you're finishing off our work

for the rest of the day.

Done. Pick em up, fuckhead.

Fuck. My head.

Quiet?

Why are we here?

We're okay.

Are you sure?

Yeah.

He left a note.

"The astral nauts of store LIS004

"have left this ruined world

"to ascend to our new home on the two-ringed planet.

"I, Zachary, await an escape pod for my mortal flesh.

"Please do not move me."

See? They ascended. We're good.

Fine. I'll take out the leftovers.

Come on, Zach.

Oh, these bones feel like spaghetti.

You're lucky I got you out of Topeka.

Stone almost smoked your ass, right?

Ow! What's that for?

- I had him! That was my kill.

- Who, Stone? Are you delusional?

When I saw you, your car was sideways

and you were covered with blood.

Matter of fact, you're still bleeding.

- At least he's dead, right?

Stone? Yeah.

Maybe.

Now that I think of it, no.

- What the fuck, John? - I was busy trying

to get your ass out of that amusement park alive.

The fact that we're both standing here,

I think I made the right call.

- That wasn't your call to make.

- Says the asshole who poisoned me.

- And I told you not to come back for me.

- Well, I ignored that. - Why?

- Because it was a stupid fucking thing to say.

- Well, you're fucking stupid.

Well, so are you.

* Yeah *

* Yeah *

- Do you think something's about to happen?

Because it definitely is.

- It's been a while since I-- - Why do you talk so much?

* One here comes the two to the three to the four *

* Like she a groupie and I ain't even on tour *

* Everybody in the club gettin' tipsy *

* Everybody in the club gettin' tipsy *

* Everybody in the club gettin' tipsy *

* Everybody in the club gettin' tipsy *

* Here comes the five to the four to the three *

* Hands in the air if you cats drunk as me *

Ugh! Ahh! Oh, nasty!

* Dude I don't care I'm a P-I-M-P *

* Everybody in the club gettin' tipsy *

* Everybody in the club gettin' tipsy *

**

- Giselle? You majestic bitch.

It has been forever. Mwah. Mwah.

Oh, my God, I love your earrings.

I treated myself to a new necklace too.

Idiot didn't finish her chores.

Oh, my God, I'm starving.

I want a number one, no bun, fries.

Atkins, right?

**

**

**

Hello!

I totally can see you holding the tray.

**

- May I have your attention, please?

Excuse me, everyone.

I was just informed there's an active shooter nearby.

Yes, another one.

Now, we're totally safe, but as a precaution,

we will be locking down.

Now until we get the all clear, please enjoy

endless Shooting Star fries on the house.

- Oh, my God, I totally will.

Yes.

- How we doin', folks? - Good, thanks.

- Can I get you some more fries?

That would be awesome.

**

- Well, that complicates things.

**

**

Hey, you're awake.

Where are you going?

I-I gotta go.

- Are you seriously going back to him?

You don't understand.

Bye.

Goddamn balls.

Next time you see Stone, he'll give you a bullet enema,

if you're lucky.

- Not if I give him one first.

- Yeah, like you'll get within ten miles of Officer Psychopath

after the shit you pulled.

- What was that? - Shit.

We need to get inside right now.

That's a Watkyn's storm.

- Well, bad ass, what's the plan?

Only a complete idiot would go out in this.

- Isn't that your car out there?

Shit!

Oh, fuck!

Evelyn!

Man, he runs weird.

Ow! Jesus!

Oh, Zachary.

That's why you shouldn't join cults.

- Oh, fuck me. Fell on my burn.

That's what I get for saving your life.

Oh, thank you.

**

This is why I tell you to drink less water.

Just go.

- I missed you too, little bunny.

You holding up okay?

No one even comes back here.

Come on. It's been three years.

Let me hear that annoying-ass voice of yours.

Please?

It's me.

See? They can't take everything away.

See? You're still the same annoying pest

who's great at slicing tree fruit

and even better at making Tobin feel like a piece of shit.

Hey. Hey.

Hey, when my manager isn't looking,

I fart on his lunch. Yeah.

Yeah, but I'm not talking, like, a one-cheek squeak.

I'm talking like a full, bullhorn fucking blast.

There you are. There you are.

Jesus, these morons.

I gotta do everything myself.

The hell are you two doing back here?

You're not allowed here.

Oh, your keeper's not gonna be happy.

Don't touch her!

Know your place!

How dare you speak--

Oh, we are not done.

- All of this is lies. Lies!

It's okay, everyone.

Reaper should be here any moment.

I hope.

- You promised me! I gave you four years.

Where's my beach? My freedom?

That contract is bullshit! All of this is bullshit!

Well, that was stressful.

Anywho, lockdown's lifted. You're all free to go.

And, please, grab a Black Hole burger

for the road.

Just you wait.