Greek

Previously on Greek...

We'll see what we can do to get your o-chem grades back up.

Even if I get "A's" in my other honors classes,

I'm still gonna drop below the required 3.5 cum.

My "D" is officially a "C".

- Wait, that's it? - It's good enough for now.

You're a good kisser.

What are we doing?

I didn't kiss evan at the end of the world party. I kissed Fisher.

What?

I was drunk. And I screwed up big time.

When someone cheats on me, it's over.

Grant and I kissed. If anyone from the house saw him,

he's screwed, 'cause he didn't want to come out yet.

We, at Pan-Hellenic, are deducting blue ribbon points

from sorities whose sisters choose to participate in the undie run.

But it's a 60-year-old tradition that fosters school spirit and unity.

Moving on...

Nice work saving the undie run.

Some people didn't think so.

So Pan-Hellenic scholarship applications are due at the end of the month.

Moving on...

Tomorrow we start our annual dry weekend, a chance for cru's

greek system to prove it can actually go 48 hours without alcohol.

This is always so lame.

Excuse me?

Is she looking at me?

I understand it might be difficult to

muster the enthusiasm for this event you had

for running around in your underwear, but do you have a comment, ZBZ?

I just said

I think... dry weekend is a little ineffective.

Houses can't have parties with alcohol so we...

They end up at a packed Dobler's

or drinking in some smelly fraternity basement.

That's not gonna happen. There won't be underground partying.

IFC and Pan-Hellenic are doing sober patrols of all the houses.

And any house found in violation

faces social suspension for one month.

Great, now it's gonna be lame and alcohol free.

I'm sorry, we're in a small room. Why do you think I can't hear you?

It just seems like all you're doing is telling people what they can't do.

If the whole point of dry weekend is to show people

they can have fun without alcohol, why not give them something they can do?

Something that's fun.

Like?

Me? OK.

I guess we could do a party, a progressive party.

Where each sority has a different sober activity.

Like... a drunk-driving simulator. Or root beer pong.

And karaoke! Everyone loves karaoke!

Since you have such a good take on it...

... you're in charge of dry weekend.

Me?

Moving on...

OK, so you combine silicon tetrachloride,

diphenylmercury and...

Crap, what is it?

What about absinthe?

Absinthe isn't an organometallic compound.

But it could be the perfect cocktail for this year's dry weekend.

It's very hip right now.

But dry weekend is supposed to be alcohol-free, right?

Technically, but for the Kappa Taus' underground

wet weekend party, I'm reading about the "green fairy."

Do you really think it causes facial tics?

Whatever.

Why are you giving me this?

It's yours. Your mails still come to the house.

- I moved out months ago! - Yeah, there's a bunch of it.

It's the anchor.

Your nickname's Spitter because you spit on a girl.

- What does anchor even mean? - Maybe it means "news anchor?"

Because I'm always up on what's going on in polymer science?

Excuse me. You called spitter "anchor."

If I may, what is the derivation?

It's because he got such a low grade on his o-chem midterm,

he's holding down the curve like an anchor. Get it?

Yeah, I get it.

That's my first experience with nerd-on-nerd hazing.

I still prefer Spitter.

Yeah, me too.

Kappa Tau Team

you're here!

I was just making our escape plan from dry weekend.

I have movies, pedicures and to honor the occasion, an in-town bar crawl.

The bar crawl is especially important, because that is

where I'm going to meet a new boy who isn't Fisher.

I hate to burst your new boy bubble,

but Pan-Hellenic's enforcing dry weekend this year.

Each sority has to host a sober party tomorrow night, including ZBZ.

What? Whose dumb idea was that?

I don't know, just some girl...

Are you done with that, Ash?

I am.

He has been trying to do that all day!

- What? Make eye contact? - Yes! And I can't avoid him.

I don't want to see him, hear him, or smell him ever again.

He smells like cupcakes and man.

Speaking of cupcakes and man, since we're not going

to have alcohol at the party, we have to have killer food,

which means we'll probably need Fisher to work tomorrow.

Stupid dry weekend!

Knock knock! Can I come in?

Fancy wrapping paper. Who's it for?

It's for my roommate's birthday.

Is he a girl?

OK, what do you want?

Can't I just come over to hang out without having an ulterior motive?

OK, you have to get Ashleigh to forgive me.

I've apologized, groveled, told her I liked those silly

arm warmer things she wears. Nothing's worked.

You kissed her boyfriend.

All right? And if you're feeling a little bit guilty,

then maybe you should be.

Guilt! That's what it is.

Sorry. Hi.

- Is this Grant's room? - Yeah.

Perfect, I'm here to surprise him for his birthday!

Have you seen him?

Are you his sister?

What are you doing here?

Surprise!

Close family.

We having a garage sale for the lord?

No. No tithing today.

Just, putting some of these things in storage,

until me and God work some of our issues out.

I don't really need nana's crucifixion

linens around. Or my precious moments baby angels.

They're so judgy.

Have you heard anyone call me "anchor?"

I only said it twice. It was behind your back.

But that was it, OK? I swear.

Not to God, of course.

This is all because of stupid o-chem.

I've been busting my butt trying to make up for this midterm

and now I have to deal with my reputation?

What more can I do?

Try being known for something other than grades.

Maybe do an outside project. I'm thinking about doing one.

That's a great idea.

I've been tinkering with eco-polymers.

There you go. All you need is a faculty sponsor.

There's only one professor I know well enough to ask.

- What do you want, Cartwright? - A minute of your time?

You have exactly one before my weekend begins.

Since I started here at cru, I've had this intense desire to study...

another book signing? They expect me to spend my free time

at some stupid party to kiss Larsen's ass because he wrote a book?

I personally hate books.

And people who write them.

Makes sense, given your grades.

Which was exactly why I was thinking

you might consider sponsoring this idea...

I don't sponsor projects.

I find them to be a waste of my time and expertise.

The thing is, I'm really trying to make a name for myself

- in this department. - You mean, besides "anchor?"

- You know about that? - I believe I started it.

And now, it's the weekend.

Saw your girlfriend, Grant.

- She's smokin'! - Yeah.

Yeah, who wouldn't want to tap that, right?

I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Whitney.

She and I have been dating since high school.

I'm obviously gonna end things,

but I really wanted to do it in person.

She's here now.

Hey guys! I hope you don't mind.

I put some stuff up in your closet. It's huge.

You could fit, like, a person in there.

You're staying here?

Don't worry. Grant and I won't do anything naughty...

... until you're asleep.

What's up?

Jeez, if you vibe that guy any harder, you might get pregnant.

Tonight is my last chance to meet a new hot guy

before I'm trapped in the house with my old hot guy. Sober.

When did you two get so friendly?

We're not friendly. We just have the greeting down.

Trust me, anything longer than an elevator ride would be totally awkward.

- To dry weekend! - Cheers to you...

And to weekends... dry ones.

Awkward like that?

I hope you guys aren't planning any stealth parties.

Pan-Hellenic and IFC are patrolling this year.

Not to worry. My brothers and I are amazing at hiding liquor.

Like right now, I may or may not have a vodka bottle down my pants.

I'm sure I can handle whoever they send over.

They're sending me.

- What? You have to patrol? - Nice! A cop on the inside...

who knows all your best hiding places. Under the stairs,

the tool shed, and that secret closet off your room where we...

... talked.

Thanks for the warning. Adios.

I can't believe you're ditching me.

I'm pretending you're the lemon.

Bitter's not pretty, Ash.

Who's that?