Stealing Candy

Showtime!

You're staring again, Eddie.

Your husband is paying me to watch you, Mrs. Spinelli.

l'm just doing my job.

Why don't you make yourself useful, and do my back?

Oh, that's so nice!

Don't worry, Eddie, my husband won't be home until tonight.

And please, call me Tia.

- Undo my top. - Sure.

l don't like tan lines.

You have such strong hands.

l need strength like yours.

- Hey! Hey! - What're you doing, get off me!

Hey, what are you doing?

lt's not what it looks like, Mr. Spinelli.

Look, l swear, this was not my idea!

- ( clicks) - Safety's on, asshole.

Disloyal pig!

- Why? - l'm sick of your handouts.

With you gone, l get everything.

The police will find two dead men and two guns,

l will tearfully tell them

that the two of you fought over me and both lost.

l'm sorry, babe.

Sometimes love hurts.

Director: _nd... cut!

- Ouch! - Director: Okay, print that one.

Great. Thank you guys, that was terrific.

Mam, nice job. Dry him off, please.

Ms. Tyler, can l speak to you for a moment?

- Sure. - Ahem...

l would-- l'd like to do one more take.

Why, is it something l'm doing?

Actually, it's something you're not doing.

You're supposed to be setting Eddie up by wantonly seducing him.

He's got to really believe you're on the level here.

All right, l agree.

Candy, you're protecting your breasts too much.

Ross, we've gone over this, okay? It's in my contract. No nudity.

Your top is practically glued on.

lt's not going anywhere.

You'd be more convincing if you stopped acting as if it was.

Okay?

All right. One more.

- You can do this. - l know. All right. Let's go.

Ross: All right, first position, everybody.

- Marker. - Six, three pick-up.

Candy: Yeah, l thought that was great. - Where's your driver?

All the fuss? l'll just drive myself.

Last week you fired your personal assistant.

Are you going native?

l guess l'm a little tired of having strangers in my life.

Why don't we fix that? Why don't we get to know each other over dinner?

Tonight? l'm sorry, Ross, l can't.

l got a script to read and l'm exhausted.

l just want to go to bed early.

Okay, tomorrow l'll pick you up at 8:OO. Let me buy you a thank-you dinner.

You fought for me on this film when l really needed it.

That's sweet. Maybe next week.

Okay? l'll call you. We'll set something up. l promise.

( man knocking on door )

Nobody does seduction and deceit like Candice Tyler.

Don't do that historical thing with Levinson,

just keep giving them what they want.

All right, all right.

But then l need to get paid more for doing it.

One of your movies opens bigger, l'll get you a bigger up front.

Then l need more work, Frank. Book me back to back if you have to.

What's with you, Candy?

That IRS thing.

l thought you were appealing that IRS thing.

My lawyer quit. They really got it rigged real good.

You spend what little you have left to defend what little you have left.

- l'm completely broke. - What are you talking about?

They are gonna repossess everything l own,

and my future earnings, unless l come up with a huge settlement now!

- What about your investments? - The market's how l got into this mess.

We're gonna have to keep this under wraps as long as we can.

What are you talking about?

lf this gets out, the studio execs, they'll know you're desperate.

Great. So, where does this lead me?

l can't guarantee anything right away.

Boo!

Son of a bitch!

How did you get in here? l told you l'd meet you outside.

There's no lock made that could keep me out, Fred, you know that.

- Why did you call? - Why do you think l called?

l wanted to see my old jailhouse pal.

Yeah!

Hey, l've got a job for you.

l'm required by my parole officer to inform all future employers

that l have been convicted of a felony

and l've done time in a Federal institution.

But l'm totally rehabilitated now.

Well, it does my heart good to know that our jail system worked so good.

You're hired. l want to show you something. Sit down.

fred:This is Candice Tyler, the movie actress.

l've been tracking her for a couple of days.

l've been in her house and l know the code to the alarm system.

So, what do you think?

ls it safe on the premises?

lt's not a robbery.

We're stealing something else.

You mean her?

- Yeah. - A kidnapping?

You'll get the FBl up your ass in five minutes.

So, how much ransom you going for?

None.

We get more another way.

A lot more.

When it sounds too good to be true, it usually is. l learned that in jail.

Oh, Brad! You're getting cynical in your old age, my friend.

Yeah, whatever.

Charming rich ladies out of credit cards and savings accounts?

- That's what you did time for. - Yeah.

lt's a big jump from lounge lizard shit to snatching movie stars, Fred.

Look...

if l wasn't sure about this, l never would've called you.

l want you to meet my partner.

l steer, but he makes it go.

Put that gun away.

Okay. l'll let him convince me. You're doing a shim job of it.

Oh, don't be so cynical.

So l take it you like Iost causes?

Walt, this is the guy l told you about.

He can get into any place, any time.

Brad Vorman, Walt Gearson. The only real genius l ever met.

Hey, sorry. My hands are kind of wet.

Huh.

l see it's not going to be Iove at first sight.

Let me know when he does something smart.

Come on! Let him show you.

What, like a dog and pony show?

Oh, come on! He needs to find faith.

All right, prepare for a new skill technology, my friend.

Step this way.

Wipe your feet, will you? l just vacuumed.

- Nice place. - l call it home.

New skill, huh?

l spent the last three years in prison.

You learn to live with the essentials.

So you did time? What for?

- Electronic embezzlement. - Walt here,

he stole a million dollars from the U.S. Treasury Department.

With what? A bazooka?

l don't need a bazooka, pal.

Laptop?

A complete chassis l redesigned-- my design.

Yeah, l'm very impressed.

But what's this got to do with the movie star?

For one night, and one night only,

Candice Tyler, ''movie goddess,''

is going to be having sex,

live, on the Internet.

- On our web site. - No shit?

- How do we set this up? - l infiltrate a dozen servers.

Net se_ers all over the world will see our free two-minute pop-up ad.

rhey'll show a live image

of one of the world's the most beautiful stars, totally nude.

That'll get their attention. Then what?

Word of mouth will spread instantly across the Net.

Hits on the site should triple about every 18 seconds.

An hour later, we netcast 20 minutes more.

That's how you came up with the figure

of a minimum of one million per man?

One million? No, no, no.

Worst case projection is that 20S/o of the people

seeing the pop-up will pay 10 bucks to see the rest.

That would make it--

2.7 million per man, give or take 100,OOO or so.

All undeclared and tax-free, of course.

That is a hell of a lot more than we'd ever get from any ransom.

Okay, so, how do we get the money,

without getting caught?

Encrypted codes. All offshore bank accounts.

How do you stop anyone from tracing all this back to you?

That's easy. l've developed new free-floating trading systems,

on a perpetually shifting network of encrypted files.

- Say what? - He means the source code

is everywhere and nowhere at the same time.

They can't trace it fast enough. By the time they do,

we are long gone ghosts.

lt's prem damn good, don't you think?

As long as the money is not free-floating

and ever-changing, l'm cool.

Oh, no! The money is going to be waiting for us in the Bahamas.

Fun in the sun. You guys want a beer?

Fred: Yeah.

- What's this guy's story? - His wife divorced him

and took the kid while he was inside.

He's trying to get him back.

Hey!

lf you embezzled a million dollars, why not buy a mansion?

Walt: The feds found out where l hid it.

l was prem inexperienced back then,

but l've learned a few tricks since.

Well, how did you get out so soon? Snitching?

No. l hacked into the state computer...

issued myself a parole.

Damn.