The Rambler

- ( door slams ) - ( men shouting )

Men : Come on! Yeah, get him!

Guard : She know what day it is?

She knows.

Listen, uh...

I gotta get back.

Good luck.

A letter come from your brother.

At least I think it's him.

Oregon address.

lt's in that glove box.

Roberta said you could get your old job back at that pawn shop.

I guess that's a start.

Yeah, well, I think you're lucky.

Woman : Surprise.

All : Surprise! Ahh!

You son of a bitch! We missed you!

- Yeah. - Welcome home, dickhead.

How was the man pussy in the slammer?

- ( laughing ) - Give me one of those.

Yeah, he's back.

How many years you do anyways?

- Four. - ( man laughing )

You fuckin' queer!

Welcome back, brother.

Thank you.

Man, it's so good to have you back.

I thought about you damn near every day.

- Hello, gang. - Shut up!

She's a good woman. She's a rock.

Y'all heard the one about the gardener?

Douche box!

Actually, I believe douche comes in a can.

Do it, do it, do it!

- Take it in your mouth, hippie! - Do it, do it!

- Do it, do it! - Argh-hh!

- ( cackling ) - ( men hooting )

- ( men laughing ) - Do it, do it, do it.

- Do it! - ( men hooting )

Come on!

Hold on, Luke. What the fuck you doin'?

Eating lunch.

Well, eat it out front, then! I ain't paying you

to be no Bob-ass-Dylan!

Sorry, ma'am.

Oh, sorry about that.

Can I help you, ma'am?

I got these rings,

this necklace.

Emeralds-- they're my birthstone.

How much you want?

I want a gun.

Roberta: He can't touch no gun, Shirley.

Just got out of prison.

Gonna have to wait for me.

Roberta: Oh, fuck it. I gotta go. Bye.

Go. Sweep.

What can I do for you, honey?

- PistoI? - Shotgun.

I'm going on a trip.

- ( women laughing ) - ( gunshots firing )

- Ha! Get him! - Ha ha!

God damn it!

What?

What's your fuckin' prob, huh?

What? Can't get hard for me no more?

I guess I'm still adjusting, Cheryl.

Adjusted to what?

Huh? A female?

Hey, maybe Kenny was right. The joint queered you.

I ain't queer. Just don't feel right yet.

Well, maybe I ain't willing to wait for you to feel right!

A lot of men want to fuck me, you know?

Gerald,

Kenny,

Steven,

and countless other scum-fucks whose names I don't even recall.

You must be proud.

You know, I was gonna lie to you out of courtesy,

but fuck you, here it comes--

I'm pregnant!

Gerald?

Daryl.

Cheryl and Daryl.

I like that. May be something in there.

Fuck you! Get the fuck out!

Sorry motherfucker.

Fuckin' go! Get out!

- ( gunfire blasts ) - ( screaming )

Don't you ever fuckin' come back here!

God.

Shit.

So what's your excuse now, dipshit?

Cheryl kicked me out again.

So where the hell did you sleep?

Under a-- under a thing.

Well, that sounds nice,

but I pay you to open!

Oh, shit.

I don't fucking have time to deal with this right now.

I have got to meet a client.

You stay here until I get back.

And then we will discuss

your employment.

You know you're an asshole, right?

A grown asshole.

Pssh-shew.

Daryl : Welcome back, brother.

Kenny: You fuckin' queer!

Cheryl : Fuck you, here it comes.

Roberta: A grown asshole!

- Freeze. - Cheryl : Pregnant!

Man : We missed you!

This you?

Yes, sir.

Man's voice: "Dearest brother,

been a long time since we last spoke.

lt seems you're not the easiest fellow to track these days,

so if you're even reading this,

I'll consider it a bit of a miracle.

Anyway, I've been running a little pony ranch

just outside of Sun River.

Got a lot of colts this year and Susan just had another boy--

a human.

Anyway, I know you hate that cowboy stuff and all,

but we could sure use a good hand out here.

Plus you have some new family to meet.

So if you can make it out to Oregon, you got a job

and a soft place to land."

Rambler's voice: "Dearest brother,

I have decided to join you and your family

on the Oregon ranch. Just like old times, I guess.

I have found myself far from home,

so I apologize in advance for my delayed arrival.

But unless I die or something worse,

I will deliver myself to the ranch ready to work just as fast as I can.

Well, I seem to have run out of words.

Take care. Sincerely..."

- ( truck brake hissing ) - ( honking )

- ( rapid beeping ) - ( horse snorts )

Hey there.

Highway lose you or something?

Yeah.

Good job. You're officially nowhere.

How far to somewhere?

About three miles.

West.

That where you're going?

I guess so.

Got any room on that guy?

Probably not.

There is that bicycle.

Bottle of red, cheapest smokes.

Whatever.

Eight.

Thanks, sir.