D-Railed

- Murder Mystery Express will be departing

in five minutes on Track 5.

Happy Halloween, everyone.

- Hi. - Trick or treat.

- Nice costume, Marilyn. - This place is a mad house.

- Here you go. - Yeah.

A lot of private party trains.

- One of these times, I'm going to try your private party train.

- It's a lot of fun, and people really get into it,

but you better book ahead of time because we fill up fast.

I can see that.

Whoa, how cool is this?

Look at this thing.

I know, right?

Says here this train was built in the 1900s.

Whoa.

You know, I'd love to do one of these train parties.

That's super-expensive.

- All the passengers dress up in old-fashioned clothes

and play some sort of mystery, whodunit game.

Ooh, sounds fun.

- An evening filled with murder, mirth and mayhem,

includes appetizers, prime rib dinner and drinks.

Drinks?

They got booze?

See, that's what I'm talking about, guys,

a little train ride, a little class.

Get the man a drink.

Get the man a drink?

Yeah, get the man a drink.

Get the man a drink. Get the man a drink.

Get the man a--ooh.

Great costume, are you with the train?

Happy Halloween.

We out.

Hey, Lisa.

Coming.

I like your dress.

Well, thank you.

It's really nice.

- Well, you're very sweet, and so is yours.

- Did you make it? - Abigail.

As a matter of fact, I did.

You know, you have a very good eye.

- Please forgive her, she tends to ask a lot of questions.

No, not at all, it's fine.

- How long you suppose we got to wait?

I don't know.

10, 15, 20?

- I don't know. - It feels like forever.

- They're going to get on, then we're going to get on.

- You know, the cast always gets on first.

- Yeah, well, just feels like....

Shouldn't be long.

- Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome.

We are now boarding the Murder Mystery Express.

- Yeah! - Welcome.

Please, this way. - Finally.

- This way, ma'am, mind the step.

- Thank you. - So glad you could join us.

You're looking absolutely lovely.

- Good evening, sir. - Good evening, sir.

Luther.

Yeah?

How's it looking?

We running on time, or you guys need a nap before we get going?

- All fired up. - Waitin' on you.

- All right, just load 'em up now, we leave in five.

Welcome aboard.

Please, come in, find yourselves a seat.

We'll be leaving shortly.

Make yourselves comfortable.

So glad to have you.

It's so beautiful.

Pretty nice, huh?

Good evening.

Good evening.

You know, I have to say,

that's a fantastic color rouge you're wearing.

My company sells it all the time.

- Really? - Absolutely.

It's not 100-percent match for your color wheel,

but I can see what you were going for.

I've got a free sample you can take home with you.

It's a perfect blend-- I'm Eugene, by the way.

I was just...

Okay.

- Have you ever been on one of these before?

A train? Yes.

- Well, not just any train, the Murder Train?

- Can you please not call it that?

- Antonia doesn't like it when I call it the Murder Train.

She didn't want to come.

- No? - No.

- My parents couldn't come, so we asked her instead.

She's not too happy about that.

So, have you?

Been on the Murder Train?

No, but my friend is in the production.

That's why I'm here.

Oh, which one?

Dark-haired girl at the front?

- Yeah, that's her. How did you....

Extra blush, heavy eyeliner.

Eugene. - Evelyn.

So who is she playing?

You know, I don't know.

I just know her character's name is Daisy.

See, she wanted it to be a secret.

I wonder if she does it.

I don't know.

- I doubt it, but that's the fun part,

you know, figuring it out.

- I take it you've been on one of these before?

- Yeah, 14 of them. This one's the 15th.

Fifteen?

- I can spot the bad guy within five minutes.

Trust me, I'm rarely wrong.

- Don't you get tired of seeing the same one?

Never.

I've been down the East Coast for the last five years

selling cosmetics.

Anyway, I've seen every show from here to Maine,

and they're all a little different.

Really?

- Yeah, my company works with the big theaters.

It comes with the job, wholesale, new accounts,

stuff like that.

Anyway, they give tickets to this stuff all the time,

and I'm hooked!

The Murder Mystery Train.

Dun-dun-dun!

- Excuse me, everyone, gather for a photograph, please.

Ooh, a photo, sure.

Do you mind if I...?

- Oh absolutely, sure. - Thank you.

Wow, look at that camera.

Is that real?

Of course it is; smile.

All right, very good,

looking good, here we go, in three, two, one...

- How's it looking? - All good on my end.

Luther says we're ready to roll.

All cast, crew and passengers on board?

Boarding complete.

I guess we're good to go.

Hey, have a great ride. See you on the other side.

I'll see you.

She's all yours, Luther.

All aboard, all aboard.

Is this seat taken?

Uh, no.

May I?

- Of course. - Thank you.

- How are you? - Fine, thank you.

You seem a little nervous.

- A little. It's my first time.

- Oh, well, I think you're safe.

I don't think it's real.

- I hope not, I paid for it.

Ah.

- Thomas Hall. - Evelyn Hyde.

- It's nice to meet you. - You, as well.

This is Antonia and Abigail.

Hello, hi.

You know, I couldn't help but overhear

that you have a friend in the show.

I do.

- But you've not seen a performance?

- I have not, but when my friend purchased a ticket,

I couldn't say no.

And you?

- My brother, he came last year and wanted me to come,

but I couldn't, so I made a point to try it this year.

- And your brother? - Hmm?

Well, your brother?

- Oh, uh, unfortunately he was unable to come this year,

so I came alone.

I'm sorry.

- No, it's all right, these things happen, you move on.

Do we?

See anything you like?

- Depends on what's for sale.

- Cigarettes, cigars, hard candy.

Oh, I like candy.

Any chance I can, uh, order off the menu?

- I'm afraid you just heard what's available.

- One orange blossom chicken for you.

Prime rib, medium rare.

Thank you.

- Looks good. - Better than I expected.

- This has to be one of the best meals I've had

at one of these things.

Everything all right?

- Yeah, no, I'm sorry, I thought I....

What?

Nothing.

You sure?

- I thought I saw a roach on my plate.

- I'm pretty sure that's not on the menu.