Carnal Knowledge

If you had a choice...

Yeah?

Would you rather love a girl or have her love you?

I'd want it mutual.

I mean, if you couldn't have it mutual.

You mean, would I rather be the one who loves or is loved?

Yeah.

It's not that easy a question.

I think I'd rather be in love.

Me too.

I wouldn't want to get hurt, though.

You're in love with Gloria.

I was starting to be in love with her.

Then she let me feel her up on the first date.

Turned me right off.

You kept going with her, though.

Well, she let me feel her up.

What about Gwen?

Her, I could talk to.

I've never been able to talk to any girl.

I was really getting crazy about her.

But she's stuck up. Wouldn't let me lay a hand on her.

So I went back to Gloria.

- Well, you want perfection. - What do you want, wise guy?

She just has to be nice, that's all.

You wouldn't want her beautiful?

She doesn't have to be beautiful.

- I would like her built, though. - I want mine sexy-looking.

I wouldn't want her to look like a tramp.

Sexy doesn't mean she has to look like a tramp.

There's a middle ground, you know?

I would want that, yeah.

Tall.

Very tall.

That would scare me.

She should be very understanding.

We start the same sentences together.

Yeah, I'd like that.

Big tits.

- Yeah, but still a virgin. - I don't care about that.

Come on.

I wouldn't mind if she was a little ahead of me.

With those big tits.

Knew hundreds of different ways.

I want more of a companion.

The other stuff I can get on the outside.

The first time I do it, I want it beautiful.

I don't want to waste it on some beast.

I feel the same way about getting laid as I feel about going to college:

I'm being pressured into it.

- You like that? - Yeah.

I give her to you.

What's wrong with her?

- I'm a generous guy. - Yeah, I'm grateful.

How do I break the news to her?

- You go over there. - Yeah?

There's a way to talk to girls, you know.

- Tell her a joke. - What joke?

Tell her about your unhappy childhood.

- That's not bad. - But don't make it like an act.

No.

Go ahead.

Go ahead, schmuck.

If you don't, I will.

You?

You can't even stand up.

I fucked up.

It's my turn.

What do you mean, it's your turn? She's mine. You gave her to me.

- You struck out. - I get two more times at bat.

This is the first time I've ever been to a college mixer.

- Me too. I hate them. - I hate them too.

Such a phony way of meeting people.

Everybody puts on an act.

So even if you meet somebody, you don't know who you meet.

- 'Cause you're meeting the act. - That's right, not the person.

- I'm not sure I agree. - With what?

- With what you said. - No, I don't either.

You don't agree with what you said?

How do you feel about it?

I think people only like to think they're putting on an act.

But it's not an act. It's really them. If they think it's an act...

they feel better because they think they could always change it.

You mean, they're kidding themselves because it's not really an act.

Yes, it is an act, but they're the act. The act is them.

But if it's them, how can it be an act?

- 'Cause they're an act. - But they're also real.

- No. - You mean, I'm not real?

- No. - I'm an act.

It's all right. I'm an act too.

Don't you behave differently with different people?

- No. - With your family?

I thought you meant different people.

- Well, sure, with my family. - With your friends you're another way.

- Well, sure, with my friends. - With your teachers you're another way.

So which one is you?

Well, when you put it that way.

You ought to be a lawyer.

I'm gonna be a lawyer.

A lady lawyer.

You're from Smith, right?

- Uh-huh. - Do you like it?

Yeah, I like it all right. Do you like Amherst?

Sure, why shouldn't I?

My parents worked very hard to send me.

I better like it.

- Do you have a name or something? - Susan.

I'm Sandy.

- I think you can make out with her. - You think so?

She's stuff.

You think so?

I wouldn't kick her out of bed.

I shouldn't try somebody else, though?

Who?

She was the best looking girl at the whole mixer.

I'll say that for her.

Wasn't she?

Her tits were too small.

Yeah, I was thinking that. The hell with her.

But her legs were great.

You think so?

Standing so close, I really couldn't tell about her legs.

I wouldn't kick her out of bed.

She's got some funny ideas.

I wouldn't kick her out of bed.

Don't rush me, please.

What's the matter? I like you very much, Susan.

It's our third date.

- I like you too. - You let me kiss you last week.

And this week.

If I could kiss you once last week, I should be able to kiss you...

at least twice tonight.

Well?

You're the only boy I know that I can talk to.

I can't see you being quiet for any guy.

Not quiet, but if you know somebody's not going to approve of what you are--

- Whatever that is. - Whatever that is.

Well, you just don't tell him.

If I like a boy, and I want him to keep liking me...

and I'm brighter than he is, I have to not show it or I'll lose him...

so it's hard.

Well, I wouldn't want anyone overly bright.

Yeah, but you wouldn't feel threatened.

- I might be bothered a little. - I don't think you would...

nearly as much as some people.

For instance, someday I want to write novels.

Not now, but later on when I have something to say.

Now, that doesn't threaten you, does it?

No.

Maybe a little.

Don't press so hard.

See, it's better when it's gentle.

See?

What are you grinning at?

You feel her up yet?

Come on. I like this girl. I don't want to ruin things.

Was I right about kissing her?

Listen, we had a big fight over it.

- And you won! - I don't know if I won or not.

Why do you let yourself be pushed around?

You're the one who's pushing me around!

I guess I won. Sure I won.

She kissed me five times.

Now, that's when you should've put your hand on her tit.

Come on, when this girl's nice enough to kiss me, I should do that to her?

You act as if she's doing you a favor.

Well, it is sort of a favor, isn't it?

I mean, when a girl lets you kiss her and, you know, go on from there--

feel her up and the rest of it--

go all the way and the rest of it--

I mean, isn't it a favor?

What's in it for her if she's not getting paid or anything?

Fuck you.

Okay, okay, I'll feel her up.

Sandy, please take your hand off my breast.

- Why? - 'Cause I want you to.

How could it be fun if you know I don't want it?

I didn't say it was fun.

Then why is your hand where it is?

Because the way we're going, by this time I should be feeling you up.

I don't feel that way about you, Sandy.

I feel that way about you.

You want me to feel something for you too, don't you?

- I thought you liked me. - I do like you.

But I like you for other reasons.

So?

So...

if we went any further, there wouldn't be those reasons anymore.

- We might have something else, though. - What?

Something else.

You're the first girl I've ever done that to, Susan.

I didn't know that.

- It doesn't show? - No.

Well, it's something we both have to go through, I guess.

Susan, are you a virgin?

What do I do with my other hand?

What are you gonna do with your hands?

And then what?

- She told me to let go of her breast. - What did you do?

- I said I didn't want to. - Then what?