Criminal Minds

Oh, damn it!

Don't worry. My folks have the kids.

But I thought I was supposed to...

I was supposed to drop them off at their place at 8:00.

Mm. Yes, but you looked so peaceful lying there,

I made the command decision that you needed your rest.

Ohh. Well, thank you.

I guess with all that's going on

these past few months, it's finally catching up to me.

So Jack Garrett was right again.

You weren't ready for a desk job.

No, I wasn't.

You know the best part

about you going from the international

response team to the BAU?

What's that?

That after nearly 10 years of marriage,

I finally get to share my bed with my husband

on a semi-regular basis.

Yeah.

Mmm.

I can't. I can't. I can't be late for work.

Oh, you started this.

I know. I know. I'm terrible.

What if...

We're both late for work?

Mmm. Mmm... no, no. Rain check.

Seriously. But I promise

you can cash in tonight,

because mom isn't dropping the kids off

till tomorrow morning, remember?

So that just means that we should take advantage

of every chance that we get

from now until tomorrow morning, right?

You think?

Yeah. You're right. Screw it.

- Yeah? - Yeah.

So what is the Linda problem?

See, I am telling you, Spence,

no one knows what the Linda problem is

except for me and you.

I don't even know a Linda.

Linda is 31 years old.

She's single, outspoken, very bright,

and majored in philosophy.

In college, she found herself deeply concerned

with issues of discrimination and social justice,

and she even participated in several anti-nuclear demonstrations.

I don't know. I mean,

Linda doesn't sound like much of a problem.

Let me as you this.

Which one seems more probable?

"A"... that Linda's a bank teller,

or "B", Linda's a bank teller

and also active in some sort of feminist movement?

Do not look at me. I have been telling him

this is going to sail right over the gentle minds at his seminar.

Wait, I got it. Probability.

Which means that Linda is a bank teller.

Very good, and I expected as much,

however, the Linda problem is an example

of the conjunction fallacy,

which happens when it's assumed that

specific conditions are more probable

than a single general one.

And you want to challenge these assumptions at your new seminar.

Absolutely.

Garcia's right. That's way too esoteric.

I told you. Look, just say,

"when you assume you make an ass of u and me,

because then you can say "ass" in a classroom. Huh?

Detroit Police need our help.

This morning, Detroit Police

were called to an abandoned warehouse,

where they discovered the body

of 42-year-old Curtis Wyler.

It was hanging from a meat hook.

Curtis Wyler's homicide appears to be connected

to the murder of 27-year-old Darrel Forester.

His body was found two weeks ago

under nearly identical circumstances.

Due to the stages of decomposition,

the Coroner has not been able to determine

the time of death or the cause of death,

but clearly, he suffered a lot of injuries here,

and what really stood out to everybody

was that both victims had been completely castrated.

Castration is a removal of the testicles.

- It appears that... - You know, I have misspoken.

I... they... i guess technically, then,

they had been emasculated, the whole package...

gone.

Ok. So torture and sexual mutilation.

And these men weren't connected?

I haven't had a crack at them,

but according to the police,

there's nothing that stands out.

Wyler was a fancy criminal lawyer.

Forester was never his client.

And he worked as some sort of roving DJ.

Was either one reported missing?

Forester wasn't.

Although he had no immediate family

in the area, Mrs. Wyler called police a week ago

when her husband didn't come home.

But there were no signs of forced entry

or foul play in his office,

nor Forester's condo.

There's no blood at these scenes, either, just the bodies.

This UNSUB knows what he's doing

and has someplace special to do it.

Yeah, and then after he's had his fun,

he likes to show off his handiwork. I mean,

clearly this guy's trying to send some kind of message.

This reminds me of cartel violence...

The brutality, the public staging.

You know, I come from Michigan,

not the Motor City... Carson City...

But my first job in law enforcement

was in Detroit. And so I'm looking at this

and I can't help but think that we should take a look

at the Chaldean Mafia.

The call-the-who what?

The Chaldean Mafia is an Assyrian ethnic gang

with a criminal network that historically

spans from Detroit, Michigan,

southwest to San Diego, California.

What Reid said.

Yeah, but I thought the DA's Operation Shadowbox ended.

It did, but the problem is,

it also put some guys with a particular set of skills

on the free market.

And yet this extreme expression of sexual brutality,

this seems to go far beyond the type of punishment

doled out by some narcotics gang's enforcer.

Yeah, we may be looking for more of a pure psychopath here,

but I agree. This guy seems practiced, like a pro.

Well, either way, this UNSUB is organized,

skilled, and motivated.

But so are we. Wheels up in 20.

Uhh! Aah!

Stop!

Stop!

I don't understand.

Tell me what it is you want.

I got money.

I swear on my kids, I'll get you what you want, ok?

No...

Why are you doing this to me?!

Aah!

"Cruelty, like every other vice,

"requires no motive outside of itself.

It only requires opportunity."

George Eliot.

The victimology on Curtis Wyler

does make it easier to see

where he might have pissed off a drug gang.

Yeah. While he was a well-paid criminal defense attorney,

his winning percentage of clients accused

of a wide variety of drug related crimes was,

ugh, not so good.

Though none of those convicted clients

appear to have any obvious connection with the Chaldean Mafia.

And comparing Wyler's victimology to Forester,

well, there's a lot more contrast than comparison.

Well, Darrel Forester moved to Detroit 3 years ago

and became a big DJ on the local music scene,

and by all accounts is a model citizen.

Hold on.

I may have found some cyber skeletons

in their cloud closets.

Check out these bank records.

Over the last year or so, both Wyler and Forester

have made some high-dollar cash withdrawals

on a semi-regular weekly basis.

They range in amounts from $5,000 to $9,999.

Because Wyler and Forester probably knew

that $10,000 cash transactions

automatically trigger their banks to file

currency transaction reports

on the financial crimes enforcement network.

So the question is, what exactly

were these two men paying for?

Matt, do you know an Adrian Scott?

Uh, yeah. We were rookies together. Why?

Well, he's made captain now.

He's also our local taskforce leader.

So since you know the lay of the land,

I'd like you and Reid to come downtown with me.

JJ, Luke, drive out to the crime scene,

see if there's anything that's been overlooked.

Dave, Tara, you'll go to the Coroner's office.

Hopefully by now they've been able to nail down

a window for time of death, if not cause of death,

for our victims.

SSA Matt Simmons.

Ha ha.

Ah, it's good to see you, man.

It's been way too long.

Wish it were under better circumstances.