Marvel’s Hulk and the Agents of S.M.A.S.H

Red Hulk: I'm telling you, greenie, it's firepower that makes the real hero.

Blasters, rockets, things that go boom!

Any clown knows that.

Yeah, well, I know real heroes come from here.

A hero goes the distance on guts.

Not bullets or superpowers.

Red Hulk: Oh, yak, yak.

I'm sick of listening to you.

From now on, you stay on your half of the base

and I'll stay on mine.

Huh?

Huh?

Sounds like you've got a bigger problem than your daily feud.

Oh, no you don't, greenie.

The door's on my half!

Oh, no.

Don't know what Fin's doing here. But let's bounce him.

A-Bomb, you're with me.

Jen, you and Skaar take the far side.

Keep smashing until we knock 'em out!

Ee-yah!

Okay, now I'm mad.

Be right back, scaly.

Heads up, kiddies!

One Red's rocket surprise, comin' up!

Huh?

(Explosion)

You nearly hit us!

Ah, you can take a little hit.

Anyway, I got the job done.

Didn't I?

Ooh, interesting.

As a hero, green Hulk relies on teamwork to succeed,

while Red Hulk puts his faith in weapons and reckless stunts!

And here, I always thought a hero was defined by

awesome powers and a cool name... Ah, well. Down you go.

(All screaming)

Well, Hulkees, I guess that's it for our show!

See you next time!

Sync and corrections by masaca

Ooh! Argh!

Ugh. Grab on!

Start kickin'!

You mean blastin'!

Whatever. Make pain!

Ooh! Ooh!

Hulk: (Muffled) It's working!

Keep it up, smashers!

Skaar all slimy.

Hoorah! I knew you'd find a clever way out.

Since when does Fin Fang Foom talk?

It's not Fin. Hear the shrill voice?

See the purple and green?

Avengers have a file on this pest.

That's right, big green!

I'm none other than that playful, powerful,

perky personality from the planet Poppup,

The Impossible Man!

Like all members of the Poppupian race,

I can pop myself into whatever I want to be.

I know! Cool, huh?

Guys like impy are what we heroes call cps,

cosmic pranksters.

Crazy powers? Mmm-hmm.

Childish brains. Hmm.

Only way to deal with 'em is outwit 'em.

Or try to ignore 'em. They hate that.

That was so much fun, I could do it all day.

So, what are we up to next, hulky?

Oh!

Hello? Hello.

Don't they realize how special I am?

Could that be it?

Mmm. Hmm.

Hmm!

You know, I did that dragon bit to impress you.

I thought the agents of S.M.A.S.H. Would like to meet a true fan!

A fan who tried to destroy us!

You hate us, for Pete's sake!

Oh, you get out of worse scrapes than that every week!

Wait a minute! You watch my Webcast in your universe?

Never miss it! In fact, I'm here to join up!

Say hello to your newest teammate,

The Impossible Hulk!

Whaa...

Jeez.

Check out these guns.

Uh...

Whoa, now.

Look how big my gun is.

Phew. Oops!

You can't join!

Why? 'Cause, uh...

Our official rules state

there can only be five Hulks.

Five Hulks. Five?

And five is a crowd as it is.

Only five seats on the jump jet.

Only five bedrooms on the base.

Five Hulk cereal bowls.

Hulk: Yeah. I see you got your ship to take you home.

So you better get goin'. Bye-bye.

Aw, gee. I so wanted to be a big heroic Hulk!

Oh, well. Rules are rules.

Unless...

I work some creative subtraction.

Oh, so you're gonna get rid of one of us now.

Why, I'd never hurt a Hulk.

I have an even better idea.

Oh, no! No!

Oh, gross! Hulk has two heads.

What did you do?

Teleported them. To the same space at the same time!

It's really rather simple, I...

Fix this.

Don't you see? Now we're a perfect five!

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Ahh!

Hulk: Red, hold still, will ya?

I feel like we're sharin' the same pants!

Hulk: You look down lately? Red Hulk: Impy! Fix us!

Skaar fix. Hold still.

No, Skaar.

Uhh!

You Earth people always say, "two heads are better than one."

Therefore, a two-headed Hulk must be best of all!

That sounds like a Hulk-level emergency.

Merged or not, we got a job to do.

Attack, my brothers! So commands Sauron!

We will take the seas, my dino troopers.

Destroy every ship in your path!

This will be the night

dinosaurs reclaim the world's oceans!

Ah, great. The Lizard who would be king is making trouble again.

Not for long. I got beak-face in my sights.

Then it's hero time! Let's get our saur-on.

A-Bomb, land the jet.

Skaar and combo-Hulk smash Sauron from behind.

She-Hulk? You're with me.

I'm what now?

Hey, ho! Whoa, dude!

You know, kind of hurts seeing the jet get trashed all the time.

Impossible Hulk, away!

I'm coming for you, Sauron!

Ah!

When I get my hands on that little pest...

Got to keep Sauron's dinosaurs

from coming ashore.

Land on the beach! No! We got to pick him off

from up here!

Give me that! I'm trying to fly here.

Red Hulk: Back up, Jones, I'll do it.

Get back, you overgrown water moccasins!

That's how it's done! Ha-ha, got 'em on the run!

Boo.

Red, I think you missed one.

A-Bomb: Ah, get it off! Get it off!

Red Hulk: Just land this crate. Sure, no problem!

A-Bomb: Hey! I did it!

Red Hulk: No, I did it. Sauron's pet snakes are all turning tail.

You got lucky. Lucky is not in my vocabulary.

And that's how heroing is done, Jones!

We're not out of trouble, yet.

Who da Hulk, huh? I'm da Hulk! Ow!

Impy! Don't touch Sauron!

Why? He's harmless now.

Besides, if I remember my webisodes right,

all he does is boss around dinosaurs and...

What was that other thing?

Impy, look out!

Ahhh!

Heart... beat.

Hey! What's happened to me?

He absorbs other hero's powers!

That was it!

Let's get over there.

Red Hulk: Okay, I'll lead, you follow.

Will you shut up and run?

I've never felt power like this before!

I like it!

Well, I don't!

Get away from me, fool! Hah!

Jen!

Yeah, so Sauron absorbed my powers.

You mean, he can do everything you could?

Don't worry, it will wear off eventually.

You better be right, zippy.

Sauron: So! The agents of S.M.A.S.H.

And now, Hulks, I will see

to the extinction of mankind.

Beginning with... you!

Hmm.