King of Stonks

A NETFLIX SERIES

THIS SERIES IS ABOUT THE BIGGEST FINANCIAL SCANDAL IN GERMAN HISTORY.

CABLECASH INC. DEFRAUDED ITS INVESTORS AND THE GERMAN STATE OUT OF BILLIONS OF EUROS.

SIMILARITIES WITH OTHER FRAUD CASES ARE PURELY COINCIDENTAL.

There is one thing that all people have in common.

They want to reach the top.

- - But with every step upwards,

there's another person who tries to push you back down.

-Humans are just a bunch of primates. -

Everyone wants to fuck, but no one wants to get fucked.

That's how capitalism works.

As long as everyone gets rich, you can keep on fucking.

But as soon as you make one little mistake,

-you're the one who gets fucked. -

If you want to be successful, you must always stay alert.

Because the higher you rise, the further you can fall.

- -

Dying right now would really suck.

So close to the finish line.

"Co-CEO."

The job you deserve. Boss of a publicly traded company.

What could go wrong now? Other than a plane crash, of course.

They won't even show your picture on the news,

because no one knows who you are.

Mr. Armand, we are experiencing

some turbulences on our descent,

so please stay seated and fasten your seat belt.

Dying now would really suck.

You have the only copy of the last big presentation before the IPO.

If it doesn't make it unscathed, it was all for nothing.

Alex, I misplaced the stick with the presentation.

-That's never happened to me before… - Sir.

…but can you maybe check if it is in my computer?

Please be seated. You know the rules.

Sometimes there are more important things than rules.

-It's not safe. -I've just got to find this.

-Sir, please. -

There's a lot of turbulence. You're going to hurt yourself.

Mr. Armand, you are violating flight regulations.

Sir, you're putting yourself in danger. Please stop!

The stick is more important than life and death.

If I don't find it, we can just as well crash.

Sir, please. You're acting recklessly.

Sit down now.

-Sir! - Mr. Armand, please calm down.

This is Felix Armand,

and today is the most important day of his life.

Felix is Vice President of Technology for CableCash,

which sounds much better than it is.

Ten years ago, as a small-time computer scientist,

he wrote a bit of software.

And now his company is a week away from its IPO.

BUY - SELL

And today, the whole world

is supposed to hear about Felix's new position.

CEO.

Chief Executive Officer.

Or, in other words, boss of everyone.

Then he will have achieved everything he ever dreamed of.

But only, of course, if he manages to find his USB stick.

Maybe in the suitcase with money?

No. Check the box with the stuff from my old cabinet.

-It must've come with the move. - I just looked. Nothing.

Never mind, I'm here now anyway. I'll look for it myself.

And this is the lease for the second floor.

If you gave me power of attorney,

you wouldn't have to sign everything yourself.

I don’t sign anything I haven't read first.

Yeah, then you'd have to trust someone. Perish the thought.

Want to know why? Because then something like this happens.

What?

Magnus is Helvetica, I'm Arial.

I'm stepping into the spotlight. Everything has to be right.

No one knows the difference, Felix.

Excuse me! Hello. Sorry. Do you notice anything?

Here. With the lettering.

Sure. One is Arial, the other is Helvetica.

You can tell by the "A."

Thanks.

- Some people see the difference. -Yeah.

Gotta quickly say hi to an old friend,

-then find the stick-- -No, no, no, you have an interview first.

Come on, other direction.

-Five minutes! -Yeah.

MARCO I HAVE ANOTHER MEETING.

Executive assistant to the CEO matches my qualifications exactly.

- -

I want to feel like I can change the world with my job.

That's why I want to join a startup.

You're the only ones in Europe who can match companies in the Valley.

I didn't study eight semesters at Harvard

just to drown in bureaucracy at a big firm.

LIVESTREAM TONIGHT

She means Deutsche Bank.

- -

Right?

Felix?

And you're totally sure that the stick wasn't still on my desk?

Good. Great. Thank you.

You'll hear from us, okay?

-You know the way out? -Yes.

Thanks so much. Okay.

-Bye. - Goodbye.

Felix…

Felix, you’re the one who needs an assistant, not me!

What should they think when you're messing with your underwear?

-No one will work for you. -Everyone wants to work for me.

-Come on! - No, no one!

What about her? She's with Telekom.

Sorry! Pardon me. Can you come here, please? Come on!

I bet you'd love to work in finance.

-I don't even have my Abitur. -No one here has an Abitur.

No, I had a doctorate.

-But you lost it. -Yeah, because I didn't have my Abi.

No one needs Abitur who isn't analyzing poems all day.

-I have my Abi and I have an MBA, so. -Yeah, Master of Bullshit and Assholery.

Exactly. Lückenroth doesn't count. He's a consultant from Steeler Consulting.

Look at everything I can do with him.

- -

- -

- -If he breaks, he can just be replaced.

I dropped out of school at 17 and as of this afternoon

I'll be co-CEO of a company with 200 million in annual revenue.

I need a personal assistant. Want the job? Can you do it?

But I have a contract with Telekom.

Okay, this is Alex, our head lawyer.

She has more balls than Rudy Giuliani and Robert Kardashian combined.

-She'll get you out of it. -

- That's it then, right? Great! - Crazy!

- Welcome to CableCash. -Cool.

We may not be as slick and good-looking as other companies,

but we're a family.

I have the USB stick at home.

Oh, fuck! Yeah, it's at my house.

Can you drive?

-Sure. -Very good.

- Off you go! - What's on the stick?

Only the most important presentation our company's ever had.

It's to convince the global financial elite

to buy our shares when we go public.

Sorry, Marco, it's urgent.

We sell cloud-based digital payment solutions in 40 countries,

but for internal documents we use USB sticks.

If you want your stuff safe online, don't put it online. Simple.

-What's that? - Um…

Magnus's geomancer found Earth currents in the elevator,

so it should only be used in emergencies.

This is a fucking emergency. This is an emergency.

Our boss is a little esoteric.

- But I thought he was the boss. - Hm.

No.

This man is the boss.

Yes, Daddy is a prince.

- -Ariane!

This is Magnus Cramer.

Visionary innovator. Tycoon.

Or simply, the CEO of CableCash.

The first 40 years of his life, he was a loser.

He intends to be a winner for the second 40 years.

Look at him. Awesome, right?

Not exactly the CEO you'd picture at the head

of a German financial services provider. But next to CEOs of his generation,

with their cars and huge penis rockets, he actually seems pretty normal.

I have to go!

With CableCash, he's planning the biggest IPO in German history.

-Now, he is looking for his wife, Ariane. -

-Ariane! - Magnus?

- Ariane! I have to go! -

- I'm here! -

You're a CEO, but you can't handle your own baby.

Where were you? I have to be on stage soon.

Jerking off helps with stage fright.

-Is that from your crackpot makeup artist? -Yes, I jerk him off when I'm nervous.

Magnus, I know the IPO is a big deal for you,

but even if this all goes wrong, we can still spend my father’s money.

That'll be the day!

Don't forget to let off some steam.

Come on, faster!

It's right up here.

-Park there. Park there! -

- Thanks. -Sure.

- You've got to be kidding me. -

Sister, nephew. Alex.

-Hello! - They're living with me.

-What are you doing here? -I forgot my USB stick.

I'm somehow a bit muddled, and I can't say why.

Oh, wait! I know why!

Because my dumb sister showed up and moved in with her butthead son,

on the most important day of my life!

I thought you were nervous because your company is accused

of working with human traffickers and rapists.

-Where'd you hear that crap? -Google Alerts.

I keep track of what they write about you.

Look, I've got "Felix Armand gay," "Felix Armand criminal"

and "Felix Armand dead." This was under "criminal."

"Abuse, Human Trafficking and Money Laundering,

the Link Between CableCash and the Hermann Brothers' Porn Empire."

-Give that to me, you little shit! -

-Who is this? -The Hermann brothers. They're harmless.

What's people's problem with porn? Our customers shop online.