Mad Monkey Kung Fu (瘋猴)

SHAW BROS (HK) LTD. A SHAW STUDIOS PRODUCTION

Good!

COSTUMES BY LAU KWAI-YAU MAKE-UP BY WU HSU-CHING

- Mr. Tuan, you organized a great show! - Very good show.

It was very good.

- Thank you. - Good night.

- Really good, a very good show. - Yes, thank you.

Thank you, gentlemen.

Hey, darling, the man's kung fu is good.

- Hmm. - And that female lead.

Ah, she's so good-looking!

Of course, that's why you're here and you come every night.

You must be in love.

Oh, darling, you promised me.

Sure, but you promised me something, too.

Ha-ha, of course.

You can have anything you want. You just have to ask, huh?

All I need is your help. Hey, listen!

Mr. Chen, Mr. Tuan's asked you to dinner.

- Thank you. Thank you. - Great show.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

- Sister? - (Woman) Come in!

Sister, Mr. Tuan's asked us to dinner.

Just look at you! You're such a mess! Your make-up's running.

Listen, let's not accept it.

We must go.

This is our last night here and we ought to thank him for all of his support.

- Well, alright... - Hey!

- Remember, this time you don't get drunk. - Ha! Of course not!

- Here's to you again. - Right!

Listen, we're real grateful.

We've done real good business here, all because you arranged everything.

- We appreciate it. - A-ha, it's alright.

I mean, I've enjoyed watching your show,

and my wife here's absolutely crazy about the whole thing!

And you, you're very good.

One thing I like is to watch expert kung fu.

Well, that's very nice of him.

So, now then, let's drink to him.

Ah, right. Cheers.

Brother, don't get drunk.

- I'm alright. - Maybe, but we still have to pack.

Hey! (Laughs)

So, you're leaving us tomorrow? I'm really going to miss these performances.

It's too bad, I'm sure. Wine!

Sister, there's plenty of time.

- Mr. Chen? - Yeah?

They say stage shows are all a fake,

and on-stage kung fu is basically make-believe.

- I mean, it's all a sham. - What?

Brother!

Sister.

He said our kung fu's a sham, it's not real.

Well, he's wrong.

I'll prove it any time.

Thank you. Thank you.

- Lee Heng? - Sir.

Pick a couple of men and try him out.

Are you ready?

Hey, wait.

Mr. Chen, would you call that real kung fu?

- An old style, that's the reverse hands. - Sure.

Well, tell me, compared with yours, how's it rate?

- Hm? It doesn't. - Oh?

- Brother. - Sister, I can't let this chance go.

- Don't... - Don't? Please.

Listen, the waists are too stiff.

Ought to be supple.

Besides, you move too slow.

Stand here, huh?

Come on!

His elbow ought to be here.

He needs leverage. Understand?

- You agree, Mr. Tuan? - Hm.

Also, your rebound kick here.

Tut-tut-tut.

Watch.

It's his stance, it's too weak.

He needs practice.

- Isn't that right, Mr. Tuan? - Right.

- Hey, he needs some wine. - Sure.

Brother!

Hey, to drink some wine helps the discussion.

He's right there.

Well, since you seem to like my skill...

...I don't mind demonstrating for you.

Right, let's begin now.

Hold it.

Don't you move.

Easy now. Hup!

Hope I didn't frighten you.

Huh?

Still, by myself isn't much fun.

Oh, right. We'll fix that.

We'll provide two men for you.

And if two's not enough, we can give you ten men, if you like.

Ha-ha. Mr. Chen, would ten men be enough for you?

Well, I don't care.

Two or ten.

It's all the same.

Hm.

Brother!

- You... - Oh, I'm not drunk.

I'm just having some fun.

Ha-ha! Sure.

It's just fun, nothing more. Hey, come on now, then.

Hey, no good.

Use more waist strength.

Catch it.

That's my hand.

Ha. Too bad.

- Huh? - Who's your teacher?

Oh, good! Good!

Some wine! Mr. Chen needs a drink.

Mr. Chen, you drink well!

- Sister! - Brother!

No more wine. Let's go.

Hey, Miss Chen.

All this man talk, for a lady must be boring.

- Right, Mr. Chen? - Oh, brother.

- Hey, darling. - Yes?

Listen, take Miss Chen to your room and discuss women's things, eh?

Alright.

Listen, we must leave now.

Oh, you don't have to go just yet. You come with me.

- Brother, let's go. - (Slurred) Drunk? Am I drunk?

Of course you're not drunk.

Sister, these folks are very friendly.

And before I leave, I must see his kung fu.

Oh, brother, please listen to me.

Sister, I...

Come on now, Miss Chen. Let's leave the men here.

It's no interest to us.

- Let's go for a talk. Come. - Brother!

- Go on. - Sister!

- I'm alright. Go on. - Sure, come.

Mr. Chen, you demonstrate.

Please.

- Please. - Easy, it's just a game, right?

Good.

Your kung fu is very good.

You're too kind.

Well, now I'd better show you what my real kung fu is like. Watch.

No, better not use the fan.

It's unfair.

Oh, what?

- You... - Listen, where are you going?

Uh... Well...

Getting you some wine.

Hey, bring some wine!

Oh, yes. Bring some wine! I'll go and get some.

Ha-ha, Mr. Chen, very good. Very good.

Your kung fu is fantastic! Perfect!

You're fast and nimble. You look just like a monkey.

- What's that? - Er... You're great.

Right, let's drink.

- Listen. - Huh?

It's your waist.

- It's too stiff. - Oh?

But my waist... is supple!

- (Laughs) - (Laughs nervously)

Still, my kung fu calls for a very firm waist.

You see?

- Mr. Chen, here's to you. - Right.

Firm is good. So is soft.

You have to combine the two.

Drink.

Oh. (Laughs) That was close.

- That's stealing the monkey's grapes! - (Both laugh)

Miss Tuan, it's getting late now.

I'm scared my brother will get drunk and make trouble.

- Oh, no, he won't. - Let's see.

Hey now, Miss Chen. Don't you worry.

I mean, my husband really likes him.

Even if he gets drunk, there's not going to be any problem.

Maybe, but still, whenever he gets drunk, always he gets into trouble.

Is that so?

Oh, I'll warn my husband of that and say not to give him more wine then.

- Oh, good. - Oh, Miss Chen.

I've made ginseng soup so I'll give him some.

- Hey, look after Miss Chen. - Right.

- I'll show you some more now, huh? - Oh, please.

Oh, great!

- Hey? Not finished. - There is more?

Here's the four move bop. Here, it comes.

Oh, wow!

Very hard, that.

Some more wine, yeah?

He's had too much.

Alright, it's your turn.

Huh?

Miss Chen, I'm very sorry, your brother is drunk.

He's running around like a crazy monkey. I don't know where he's gone.

I'm very sorry. He's too much. But where could he be?

Uh... Don't worry, I've got my men looking for him.

- Where's your wife? - Uh?

Oh, I was looking for your brother. Don't know where she is.

- (Groans) Oh, dear. - I'll go look.

Uh... There is no need.

As soon as I've found your brother, I'll let you know.