Call the Midwife

BABIES CRY

Some Christmases will always be more memorable

than others. More joyful, serene, with blessings, with love.

"That," we will say, "was the best Christmas ever."

BABY CRIES

We unbox our traditions, year by year.

Each celebration must compete with all of those that went before.

We set high standards...

Ho, ho, ho!

THEY LAUGH

..write long lists.

We cannot be ill, we cannot afford to falter.

SHE SIGHS

Christmas becomes a challenge we must rise to.

It is our duty to burnish it

and to make it shine.

We must do well.

We must BE well.

SHE COUGHS

We must do the best we can.

Urgh.

- Father Christmas! - Come on.

In we go.

CHILDREN LAUGH

Merry Christmas. Wave to Mummy.

HE LAUGHS

Here you go, Merry Christmas!

Come along, then, children.

Oh, hello, you!

HE CHUCKLES

Now, let me see if I've got this right.

Er, you're Teddy,

you're May and you're Angela.

THEY GIGGLE

No.

Oh, silly Santa.

You're Angela and you're May.

THEY GIGGLE

And what do you want for Christmas?

Hmm?

SHE WHISPERS

You want Mummy and Daddy to get out of bed and put some clothes on?

PHONE RINGS

Good afternoon. Dr Turner's surgery.

Miss Higgins. I wondered how everything was.

I am only prepared to say Dr Mukherjee

is proving...receptive to direction.

COUGHING IN BACKGROUND

Can I ask a favour?

Shelagh needs help with some antlers.

Call me a stickler for the Scriptures,

I don't recall any reindeer in Bethlehem.

You can't be certain.

St Eustace himself had a vision of Christ

between the antlers of a stag, white as snow.

And there were mystics who believed that our Lord himself

appeared to men in such a form.

Shake it all about for me, there's a pet.

BELLS RING

- Hello, love. - I'm on my way to give succour to invalids.

I require 3lb of oranges.

I imagine a modest discount would be smiled upon

from the Celestial Realm.

SHE CHUCKLES

- It's on me, love. - Oh.

Thank you.

This really is exceptionally thoughtful of you, Mother Mildred.

I think this is the first thing

I've been able to smell or taste for a week.

I did catch a whiff of Nurse Crane's sugar and onion mixture.

I actually think I can smell it now.

Well, it's given my tubes a good seeing-to.

And is probably why I'm back in my slacks

and gearing up to inspect my Rolodex!

So, Sister Hilda.

It appears that Nonnatus House has been running on oiled wheels

during the recent crisis.

Reinforcements from the Mother House seemed to fill the gaps

- quite nicely. - Once we showed them what to do

- and where everything was. - Hmm.

It seems to me that with all the posts so amply covered,

the best thing we can do

is to take almost all of you away to convalesce.

You need a change of scene, good food, sea air.

And I know precisely where all three can be obtained.

I fear you evoke the spectre of the Mother House.

Our esteemed Sister is incorrect.

I think that, on balance,

that I speak to Sister Julienne alone.

We could go into my office. I had just lit the paraffin stove

- so I could see to some paperwork. - Sister.

It's best if we remain within convenient distance

of the altar rail. By the time I inform you of my plans,

we might both feel the need to pray.

I believe God is calling me to open another branch house.

- Where? - As ever, where good nursing

and skilled midwives are desperately needed.

Where there is often no doctor for many miles,

where the climate is our enemy

and water and electricity both fickle friends at best.

Are you thinking of expanding our operations in Africa?

No.

We're going to the Outer Hebrides.

The Outer Hebrides?!

I thought you'd approve, being Scottish.

I'm not that sort of Scottish!

I grew up in a busy market town.

- The Hebrides are very remote. - Precisely.

Some of the islands have no access to a doctor,

and hospital help can be two hours' drive away,

or travel by boat is required.

And you think the Order can help?

I'm convinced we can ALL help.

In the area in question, the district nurse,

who is also the midwife, has not only married,

but married the doctor, and they've both retreated to the mainland.

Support is required, in the short term at least.

- Ten days should suffice. - CHILDREN PLAY IN BACKGROUND

Far too often, the islands lose their nurses

because the ladies marry.

Religious sisters never let their patients down in that regard.

For now, I merely propose an advance excursion.

A fact-finding mission. Call it what you will.

You and your good wife can convalesce in the fresh air,

whilst helping the Order to explore a call from God.

But we can't leave the children. Nanny can't be here all the time.

A remonstrance I foresaw -

and can surmount.

Why have I got to mind the Turner children?

I'd be much more use in the Outer Hebrides.

I used to be a Queen's Guide.

You must not question Mother Mildred's decision, Sister,

any more than I.

When we are called, we must listen.

Where we are called, we must go.

Unless we are called to go somewhere and our Superior objects.

You really wanted to go, didn't you, Sister Monica Joan?

At prayer, I received a vision of our Lord himself

in altered form.

Do you mean a stag? Like the legend of St Eustace?

Please do not use the term "legend".

It evokes a fantasy, a tale,

a fable conjured out of air.

When I speak of a vision,

I speak of something real.

A truth as tangible as...as flesh.

This is a lot of trouble for ten days.

Argh, this isn't going to work.

I've got room for my rollers or my lacquer, but not both.

You can't go without any lacquer.

You'll have to take something else out.

I've already jettisoned three pairs of shoes and my Lurex two-piece.

I'm limiting myself to one all-purpose cocktail frock,

in case of emergencies.

The things we do to promote the health of the deserving.

Behold. Beige or navy?

I rooted out some convent-issue thermals,

- left over from the Big Freeze. - I refer you to my earlier remark.

SHE CHUCKLES

I'll have the beige please, Phyllis. It'll match my new vests.

Everything I ever heard about Scotland tells me

they're going to be essential.

GROANS

Vi, I think I melted the collar on this shirt.

Well, that would be because it's nylon.

And I'm not lifting a finger to help you, so don't ask.

It's just a week, Vi.

Look, the only building they might be able to have as a convent

is some sort of abandoned church they're now using as a youth hostel.

Mother Mildred just wants to make sure it's viable.

I'll tell you what's not viable.

You just waltzing off to the back of beyond,

just as Reggie comes home for Christmas.

Well, I'll be back before Christmas.

It's three weeks away.

Violet.

- What are you doing?! - I'm hiding Reggie's Christmas presents

because I haven't got time to wrap them!

And did you get him the sticky strips to make the paper chains?

because he looks forward to doing that every Christmas.

I bought them down Chrisp Street, they're in my coat pocket.

I promise you, Vi, Mother Mildred said...

I do not wish to hear that woman's name again!

JINGLE BELLS INTRO

# Just hear those sleigh bells jingling

# Ring-ting tingle-ing too

# Ring-a-ling-a ding-dong-ding

# Come on, it's lovely weather for a sleigh ride together with you... #

THEY SNIGGER

# Outside the snow is falling and friends are calling yoo-hoo

# Ring-a-ling-a ding-dong-ding

# Come on, it's lovely weather for a sleigh ride together with you... #

TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS

# Ring-a-ling-a ding-dong-ding

# Ring-a-ling-a ding-dong-ding Ring-a-ling-a ding-dong-ding

# Our cheeks are nice and rosy And comfy and cosy are we

# Ring-a-ling-a ding-dong-ding

# We're snuggled up together like two birds of a feather would be

# Ring-a-ling-a ding-dong-ding

# Let's take that road before us And sing a chorus or two