The Real McCoy

Freeze! Stand back, or we'll fire!

Don't move!

- All right! Be good now! - Unlock!

McCoy. A-4-2-7-1.

One wallet, leather.

Pair of sunglasses, RayBans.

One pack of gum, sugarless.

One condom.

- Ribbed? - Guess I was ahead of my time.

- Where'd ya get on, Savannah? - Athens.

Athens. Is that right?

Pretty little place, Athens.

Uh, headin' to Atlanta, huh?

- Uh-huh. - You work there?

- Used to. - Doin' what?

I robbed banks.

Robbed banks.

Excuse me.

So if anybody wants...

To jump in and grab 'em before they're gone...

- The men's three-diamond ring... - Hello?

- Is Roy there? - Well, who's calling?

Karen.

Karen who?

Karen McCoy.

Roy... It's your ex.

Karen?

Karen?

Don't sound so scared, Roy.

- Where are you? - I'm downtown at the train station.

What'd you do, escape?

- I'm on parole. - Oh, Christ.

Look, I gotta get my stuff. All I've got is the suit I went to court in.

Well, uh, I don't want you comin' to the house.

- I'll just meet you at Mario's. - What?

- Mario's at 4:00! - Okay. Tomorrow, 4:00?

- Yeah. 4:00. - Roy?

How's Patrick?

Thanks.

Okay, everybody hit the floor! This is a stickup!

Oh! Oh!

I'm sorry, ma'am. Just step to the side, please.

- All right, gimme all your money. - I can't do that.

- Why not? - I haven't got the key.

- Well, get the key. - I can't.

- Why not? - The manager's got it.

- Well, get the manager. - I can't. He went home.

Shut up! Okay, Mr. smarty-pants.

This is a gun.

Okay, hang on!

Don't blow it.

- Okay. - Where did you want your new asshole?

I'm Gary Buckner. I been appointed by the state to supervise your parole.

Why didn't you call me when you came in last night?

Well, it was late. I knew I would be seeing you today...

- So I didn't think that you would... - Wait a minute.

You didn't think? I think that you don't understand...

- What being on parole really means. - Mr. Buckner...

I'm the boss is what it means.

You say somethin' I don't like, I'm gonna throw your butt back in the can.

You do somethin' I don't like, I'm gonna throw your butt back in the can.

You don't report, I'm gonna throw your butt back in the can.

You don't call, your butt is back in the can. You violate your parole in any way,

you are back in the can, do you understand me?

Karen, I really want to be friends.

But it's gonna take cooperation.

Now what are you gonna do to cooperate with the state of Georgia?

I'd like to get a job...

- And find a place to live. - Mm-hmm.

Well, first, you're gonna have to spend a month in that halfway house.

Mr. Buckner, I spent six years in prison.

I've got a son who doesn't even know me. I need my own place to live.

What can I tell ya?

- Couldn't you just give me a break? - No, ma'am.

I can't give breaks. You gotta earn 'em, but I'll tell you what, Karen.

You keep that pretty little figure of yours, get yourself a job...

And do exactly what your parole officer tells you,

and I'll let you out of that halfway house, okay? Okay.

Oh, uh, Karen? One more thing.

You stay out of them damn banks, now you hear me?

Frankly, I agree, but I've changed.

- Oh, thanks. - Just don't let me down, J.T.

- Straight like an arrow, Mel. - Right.

- Who the hell is that? - She was released yesterday.

Mac somethin'... McDonald, McCoy. Karen McCoy.

The Karen McCoy? Seeya.

Hey! Hey! Uh, wait a minute.

Excuse me. Are you who I think you are?

You are. I can't believe it.

- Me neither. - I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Uh, J.T. Barker.

What do you want, my handbag?

Listen, I'm your biggest fan. Can I ask you a question?

- That Atlanta job, that bank you did in '84... - J.T.? Is that what it is?

- I'm in a hurry if you don't mind. - Where did you hide all that dirt?

Hey, wait up, now. One more question now.

That '85 job you did, that First National...

- Where you filled all them alarms with foam? - I've got a bus to catch.

- I know, I know... a trade secret. - I'm really sorry, okay?

- Hey! Hey! Shit! - Hey, listen.

I can give you a ride. My car's right here.

Is it true you never carry?

- Excuse me? - A rod?

A heater? The difference. A piece.

- You know, a gun? - I didn't need a gun.

I robbed banks when nobody was in them.

Nobody was in them. That's great.

"I robbed banks when nobody was in them."

Geez. Hey, you know, I'm a first-class driver, miss McCoy.

You get ready for your next job, will you keep me in mind? Miss McCoy?

- Stop the car. - Oh, I'm talkin' too much, aren't I?

Listen, you don't have to get out. I'll shut up.

This is where I'm going. Thanks for the ride.

Hey, you want to get together sometime, have dinner?

- You like hot stuff... uh, spicy food? - I'll call you. Thanks.

Okay...

hey, you don't have my number!

Just, uh, one question on your form.

Previous occupation? You left it blank.

Uh, yes, ma'am. I just really didn't know what to put.

Self-employed? Armed services?

Um, Athens correctional facility for women.

I was a convict.

I'm sorry, Miss McCoy. The company has a policy about this.

Okay. Thank you.

- I'm sorry. - No, that's okay. Thank you.

Uh, the position involves handling cash, honey.

We just don't feel like it'd be appropriate in the circumstances.

Um, the thing is...

Well, I really don't know that I can...

Ma'am, I really need this job.

Well...

Why don't I just put self-employed?

Thank you so much.

Love connection!

And now here's our host Chuck Woolery!

Where have you been? Oh, there's no way...

A friend of mine is gonna live in no halfway house.

Come on, let's get your stuff.

This is it.

I, uh, got 'em to throw in the linen for free,

and there's gonna be a mini-fridge here and a microwave.

What, you don't like it?

- You don't like it. - No, I-I...

Oh, you're worryin' about what that parole officer of yours is gonna say?

No. Buckner said I could move if I got a job.

Uh...

Well, good.

This is, uh, my address in an emergency,

and, uh, that's just temporary, but...

And you'll have a phone, uh, sometime next week...

So I guess I'll, uh...

See you tomorrow?

Thanks. No, really.

- You took it as a personal loan? - It's my business.

That's the premiums on your staff's medical plan.

Aw, screw the damn staff, man.

- If they'd sell more, I wouldn't be squeezed. - That's no way to run a business.

You got no receipts here, your cashbook won't

balance, and you haven't filed for two years.

What am I supposed to tell the I.R.S.?

- There's a woman here to see ya, Roy. - Well, I'm busy.

- She says it's important. - Aw, Christ!

- Roy... - Look, just think of somethin' Jerry, all right?

That's what I pay you for.

Oh, Karen.

- I waited an hour. - Shit, I'm sorry. Uh...

Guess you got tied up, huh?

Shit, you look great.

- Kept your figure. - Just get my stuff, okay?

Come on.

Can I go and get dad, Cheryl?

- No, Patrick. Stay in the car. - Can I go get a soda, Cheryl?

- No. I told you. Don't call me Cheryl. - Patrick calls you Cheryl.

- You know why Patrick calls me Cheryl. - Shut up, Kelly.

You shut up, Patrick.

It's not a good idea for you to see Patrick right now because we...

We didn't tell him where you were, and, and I...

Patrick thinks you're dead. Look, Cheryl and I just felt...

You let a woman who's livin' in the house I paid for...

Talk you into tellin' my son I'm dead?

Look, I really think you're overreacting to this. What did you expect me to do,

tell a three-year-old kid that his mom's doin' ten years for robbin' banks?

No, but I... I thought we agreed to tell him...

to tell him that we split up and I moved?

- We agreed. - Look, now I have to go.

- Dad. Who's that? - Hey, Patrick. I'll be right out, son.

Uh, this is an old friend of your mother's.

Are you coming to the game?

No, Patrick.

Look, Patrick, will you just wait for me outside, son?

- I'll be right out. - Okay.

Bye.

What'd you do with the letters I wrote Patrick?

- What'd you do with 'em? - I burned 'em.

Karen, I didn't know what else to do.

Look, I'm sorry. Cheryl and I,

we've made a decision, Karen, all right?

I mean, I didn't really have any choice. I just think it's better for Patrick.

- Can I help you? - I'm lookin' for Jack Schmidt.

- Is he expecting you? - There he is. Thank you. Hey, Jack!