Eat Wheaties!

I'll put it down. Okay.

Okay. Thank you very much.

Okay. Bye, bye.

Ahh!

Oh, awesome.

It's Sarah Getz, Reunion Co-Chair.

I just checked, and there's no Sid Straw

on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram.

You're not even on Linkedln. Are you a real person?

Assuming you are, you need to get on social media pronto.

All of our coordinating will be done on Facebook.

It is going to be epic.

Duncan Lambert.

You have not aged a day since college.

- You haven't. - I know.

Then I saw your name on Facebook,

and I was like, come on.

What a perfect time to get back in touch.

I'm so surprised that you are the co-chair.

Yeah. Of the Penn Reunion. Isn't that cool?

- The West Coast Reunion. - The West Coast Reunion, yeah.

Wow.

You know, when I saw you on Facebook...

Yeah.

I just assumed that you had, you know, be married by now.

No, I've had...

I've had a bit of a dry spell with the ladies.

- You know what, get the apps. - I can't do the apps.

Swipe the swipes.

That stresses me out big time.

Do you know, I was thinking today,

what was the name of the character

that you always called me during our college improvs?

- Christopher P. Bacon. - That's it! That's it!

I was trying to think of it, and I couldn't remember it.

That was so fun, man. That was so fun.

Those days are over.

No, we should do that again.

- We should, that was fun. - We should do that again.

- That was fun. - That was fun.

- I want more fun. - Do you have my number?

- Facebook, buddy. - Facebook. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Facebook. You can expense this, right?

Yes. Of course I can expense this.

- Great. - Yes, yes, yes.

I'll send you... I guess you can send a message

on there or something,

and we can-we can figure something out.

- Yes. - Yeah. That's...

- Yes! - This is fun.

This is fun.

Ladies and gentlemen, Sam Holla.

Hi, Sid.

I suppose you like your coffee strong and black.

I was in this comedy improv group in college,

and we used to do this bit

where I would say a word that clearly wasn't racist,

but then it was kind of close enough.

I get the gist. You almost done?

Yeah, the key is to catch what comes out

in the first three and a half seconds.

And then the rest of just brown water.

You mind? I have a conference call in five.

No, no, no, no. Good, good, good.

I'm just gonna. There we go.

Hey, I saw you were on Facebook, actually.

I just signed up.

Should I friend you?

I have this new policy where I keep

my Facebook separate from coworkers.

Oh. I saw Bruce on there, though.

- Bruce is not a coworker. - Mm-hmm.

- He's-he's the boss, so... - Uh-huh.

I saw Burke and Jeanne, though, too.

Yeah, they were already friends of mine

before I implemented the policy.

Uh-huh. Well, that's probably good.

It's good to keep the focus on what we have here.

- Right. - Yeah. Yeah.

- And I'm just gonna go... - Yeah. Yeah.

- There. - Yeah. Yeah.

Hey, I'm right behind you. I'll just grab my pods.

Wow.

Look at you. Look at you.

Oh, that's so cool.

No way.

That's me.

Hey, Jeanne.

Did I ever tell you that I was friends

with someone famous in college?

- Really? - Yeah, I want you to guess.

Okay? She's my age. Obviously.

And she's a classic beauty. And I do know her.

- Heather Locklear. - No.

How old do you think I am?

However old Heather Locklear is.

Okay, no, I'm gonna give another hint.

She's a pitch perfect actress.

Ew, Anna Kendrick could be your daughter.

No, not Anna. Do you think I look like Anna?

No.

All right. One more hint.

She has a Wyldstyle, with a Y.

You were friends with Elizabeth Banks?

Yes! We went to Penn together.

- And she knows who you are. - Yeah.

I mean, I think she does. Look, look at this.

Look. Look. Look. Look.

Did you take a picture of your computer screen?

Yeah.

That doesn't even look like you.

No, that's me. Look, look, look, look, that's me.

Can I go back to work now, please?

Yeah. Hey, did I get any mail?

No.

Are you sure it didn't go to Sam Holler again?

- I don't know. - Okay.

Dear Elizabeth.

You may or may not remember me,

but we were classmates at Penn before you went off

to Hollywood to become an actress.

See if this rings a bell.

I dated your sorority sister Tracey Swid sophomore year.

Do you remember her? Brown hair, brown eyes.

She used to bleach the hair over her lip?

And then she did that Wonder Wax infomercial

and broke up with me.

That's so weird. She was on TV before you.

But, I mean, you surpassed her, of course.

Hey, I got some exciting news, though.

I am officially the co-chair

of the West Coast Penn Reunion,

and I want to cordially invite you

to the big event in the fall.

Go Quakers!

Sincerely, Sid Straw.

Oh, P.S. I got a date tonight.

I'm hoping to maybe bring her to the reunion.

Fingers crossed.

I'm a regular here.

- I kind of thought so. - Yeah.

I feel bad 'cause I brought you to a place

that I feel comfortable with on our first date.

No, first dates are always weird.

No matter what.

My pits just sweat when I'm nervous.

Feel my hands.

Oh! Your hands are sweaty.

I'm pretty wet, aren't I?

Oh, sorry.

I have this trick at work.

Whenever I have to shake someone's hand,

I just make sure to have a cold drink in my hand.

Oh, cools it... it's like, that cools it...

- yeah, I get it. - No one notices.

That's really smart. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Let me tell you something about Sid.

If he's as generous in bed as he's at tipping,

then we're both in for a disappointing night.

Just kidding.

- Wendy. - Yeah?

Do you guys really tow all the cars

- that are left behind? - No.

And Sid lives within walking distance.

Y'all good?

Wendy, could you deflower that virgin Margarita for me?

Yes, I will Davy Crockett this bitch.

- Thank you. - No problem.

What does "Davy Crockett this bitch" mean?

I was worried that you would know.

Was he an alcoholic or was he...?

Well, it sounds like he was a predator.

Thank you.

Okay.

Sorry.

Oh, sorry. No, it's this...

- it's this nap pillow. - Oh.

I wear it... I wear it to help me sleep sometimes.

See?

I have a spare if you want to try it.

- Oh, no thanks. I'm good. - Okay.

[grunts[

It's actually pretty comfortable.

Mm.

Do you want to stay over or...

I mean, no pressure. I've got a... but I've got a...

I have a spare toothbrush.

Thank you. I would.

But I-I have to let my dogs out.

Who let your dogs out?

Do you want me to bark?

No. No. You don't have to. No.

- I will. - Okay.

- Do it again. - Okay.

Who will let your dogs out?

Arf. Arf. Arf. Arf. Arf.

They're Shih Tzus.

That's good.

I'll call you tomorrow. Mm-hmm.

Dear Elizabeth. More good news!