Parks and Recreation

>> WELL, ONE OF THE FUNNER THINGS

THAT WE DO THAT WE DO HERE IN PAWNEE

IS THE ANNUAL EASTER EGG HUNT.

TOM HIDES THE EGGS,

AND, I HAVE TO SAY,

HE DID AN EXCEPTIONAL JOB THIS YEAR.

I'VE BEEN SEARCHING FOR 25 MINUTES,

AND I HAVEN'T FOUND A SINGLE EGG.

AND I'M AN ADULT.

>> OOH, YEAH, I FORGOT TO DO THAT.

>> MAYBE TOM'S TRYING TO MAKE THIS YEAR A CHALLENGE.

AND IF SO, HE'S--HE'S SUCCEEDING.

I DON'T THINK A SINGLE EGG HAS BEEN FOUND YET.

LET'S KEEP LOOKING. WE'RE GONNA FIND ONE.

*

>> I'M GOING TO SEE MY MOM.

SHE'S A BIG MUCKY-MUCK IN THE COUNTY SCHOOL SYSTEM.

SHE'S MY HERO.

HOW DO I EXPLAIN HER?

SHE'S AS RESPECTED AS MOTHER TERESA,

SHE'S AS POWERFUL AS STALIN,

AND SHE'S AS BEAUTIFUL AS MARGARET THATCHER.

>> IN OR OUT, LESLIE. DOORWAY IS CREEPY.

>> RIGHT, SORRY. CHOOSING IN.

>> SO, WHAT DO YOU WANT, LESLIE?

>> JUST HERE TO GOSSIP, GAB, CHAT. STUFF WE DO.

BUT IT LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE SUPER-BUSY.

AND I AM SUPER-BUSY,

SO I SHALL BID YOU ADIEU.

OH, THAT'S WEIRD.

I JUST REMEMBERED SOMETHING.

I HAVE MY OWN SUBCOMMITTEE NOW.

YEAH. I'M SURE YOU'VE HEARD SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

PEOPLE ARE TALKING ABOUT IT.

>> NO. >> OH, WELL.

ANYWAY, WE'RE HAVING A TOWN HALL MEETING

00 P.M.

AT THE SMITHFIELD COMMUNITY CENTER.

>> MM. >> YEAH, I'M LEADING IT.

IT'S NO BIGGY.

I MEAN, IT IS. IT'S A BIG DEAL, I MEAN...

I DON'T KNOW, I MEAN, YOU KNOW...

WANNA COME?

>> OH, HONEY, JEEZ, YOU KNOW HOW BUSY I AM.

>> I KNOW. I KNOW. I KNOW.

THAT'S WHY I FAKE-INVITED YOU.

>> I'LL TRY TO BE THERE.

>> OKAY, SO EVERYBODY'S HERE.

LET'S GET STARTED. >> OW! WOW.

>> SORRY. OH, I'M SORRY.

METAL. SORRY. >> IT WAS REALLY LOUD.

>> SUBCOMMITTEE MEMBERS, ARE WE PREPARED FOR TOMORROW NIGHT?

TOM, HAVE YOU BOOKED THE HALL YET?

>> YES, SIR.

>> ANN, DID YOU CLEAR YOUR SCHEDULE?

>> I DID. I CHANGED MY SHIFT.

>> OKAY.

>> LESLIE, I JUST HAVE TO SAY

I THINK YOU MIGHT BE TAKING THIS

TO THE PUBLIC A LITTLE BIT TOO SOON.

IT LITERALLY DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU PROPOSE TO THE PUBLIC,

THEY MIGHT CALL FOR A VOTE.

AND IF THEY VOTE YOU DOWN, THEN YOU'RE DONE.

>> I DON'T CARE IF THERE'S GONNA BE A VOTE.

I HAVE A SECRET WEAPON.

CANVASSING.

NOTHING BETTER

THAN GOOD OLD-FASHIONED DOOR-TO-DOOR CAMPAIGNING.

I'M NOT ABOVE USING MY EXPERTISE

TO CHANGE HEARTS AND MINDS IF THE CAUSE IS JUST.

WHEN I WAS IN SIXTH GRADE, I WAS VOTED BEST DRESSED

BY 87 VOTES.

AND THERE WERE ONLY 63 PEOPLE IN MY CLASS.

ANDY FELL INTO THAT PIT.

I FELL INTO THAT PIT.

HOW MANY MORE PAWNEE CITIZENS ARE GOING TO HAVE TO FALL

INTO THAT PIT BEFORE WE TURN IT INTO A PARK?

ZERO. SAY IT.

>> Ann, Mark, Tom: ZERO. >> A HUNDRED.

>> I'VE GOT SOME SUNSCREEN

FOR YOUR BEAKS.

TOM, YOU PROBABLY WON'T NEED ANY.

UH, AND THIS IS OUR CANVASSING GUIDE.

THIS IS GONNA BE THE SCRIPT

THAT WE USE WHEN WE SPEAK WITH PEOPLE.

>> "IF A PERSON IS A MAN, TURN TO PAGE TWO."

>> "IF THE PERSON LOOKS LIKE A CELEBRITY--

"EXAMPLE: JACK NICHOLSON-- USE THIS TO HELP YOUR PITCH.

"EXAMPLE: YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE PIT.

THAT'S WHY WE NEED TO TURN IT INTO A PARK."

>> OH, THIS IS REALLY THOROUGH.

>> ANN AND I ARE A TEAM. YOU GUYS ARE A TEAM.

WE HAVE EVEN SECTORS. YOU GUYS HAVE ODD SECTORS.

AND WE'RE GONNA WIN.

>> YEAH. >> WIN WHAT?

>> GO!

>> OKAY. OH, SOMEONE'S IN THERE.

THIS IS GONNA BE FUN. ARE YOU EXCITED?

>> EXCITED, YEAH. >> ARE YOU READY?

>> YES, DEFINITELY. >> ARE YOU PUMPED UP?

>> YES. >> LOOK HUMBLE.

BUT CONFIDENT.

GOOD AFTERNOON.

WE ARE REPRESENTATIVES FROM YOUR LOCAL GOVERNMENT.

MAY WE SPEAK WITH YOU FOR A MOMENT

ABOUT THE SULLIVAN STREET PIT? >> SURE.

>> EXCELLENT. POSITIVE RESPONSE.

HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF WE TURNED THAT PIT

INTO A BEAUTIFUL COMMUNITY PARK?

>> OH, YEAH, THAT WOULD BE A GREAT IDEA.

>> OH, GOOD, I ACTUALLY LIVE IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD,

SO I COULD PROBABLY TELL YOU A LITTLE BIT ABOUT...

>> HEY, TUT-TUT-TUT. SECTION THREE.

>> OKAY, UM, WE ARE HAVING

A PUBLIC FORUM TOMORROW NIGHT.

IT WOULD BE GREAT IF YOU COULD COME VOICE

YOUR STRONG SUPPORT.

>> TOMORROW? I CAN'T.

I'M BUSY. SORRY.

>> OH, YES, WE UNDERSTAND THAT PEOPLE ARE BUSY,

BUT WE WOULD LOVE FOR YOU TO COME TO THE MEETING--

>> SORRY. GOOD LUCK, THOUGH. I'M ALL FOR A PARK.

>> WOULD IT CHANGE YOUR MIND IF WE TOLD YOU THAT--

>> SHE'S GONE.

>> YEAH, A PARK, HUH?

THAT SOUNDS LIKE A REALLY GOOD IDEA.

>> GREAT. WOULD YOU BE WILLING TO COME

TO A TOWN MEETING AND SHOW YOUR SUPPORT?

>> ABSOLUTELY.

NOW, IS THIS PARK GONNA HAVE A PLAYGROUND

OR, YOU KNOW, MAYBE A POOL FOR THE KIDS?

>> OH, HOW OLD ARE YOUR KIDS?

>> NO KIDS.

>> UH-OH.

>> I'M GONNA PUT HIM DOWN AS A YES.

>> DON'T DO THAT.

>> ALSO IS THE PARK GONNA BE

AT LEAST A THOUSAND FEET FROM MY HOUSE?

BECAUSE, YEAH, I REALLY CAN'T MOVE AGAIN.

>> APRIL, PLEASE STAND BEHIND ME.

THAT'S IT. THAT'S ALL THAT WE GOT.

>> NO FLIER? >> NOPE.

>> OKAY.

THANK YOU.

>> OH, MAN, THIS IS GREAT. THIS IS SO GREAT.

I LOVE CANVASSING.

WHAT A GREAT WAY TO SPEND MY TIME.

>> ALL RIGHT, TEAM HAVERFORD,

YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME, BUT I THINK I MIGHT WORK BETTER

AS A SOLO ARTIST, SO I'M GONNA HEAD OUT.

PEACE.

>> HE RUNS WEIRD. >> HE REALLY DOES.

>> IT'S A GOOD IDEA.

BUT I'M JUST NOT SURE.

>> OKAY, WHICH PART ARE YOU NOT SURE ABOUT?

>> TURNING THE PIT INTO A PARK.

>> THAT'S KIND OF THE WHOLE THING.

>> LOOK, I THINK THIS IS A GREAT IDEA,

BUT I CAN'T MAKE ANY FORUM.

I WOULD HAVE TO GET A BABYSITTER.

>> HOW OLD ARE YOUR KIDS?

>> FOUR AND TWO.

>> COULD THE FOUR-YEAR-OLD WATCH THE TWO-YEAR-OLD?

>> OKAY. >> MICKEY!

WHAT'S UP, BUDDY?

HOW'S MY NUMBER ONE SOD MAN DOING?

LOOK, HERE'S THE ONE, TWO, THREE OF THE SITUATION.

WE'RE BUILDING A NEW PARK.

I'M ON THE COMMITTEE.

YOU'RE PUTTING IN THE SOD.

AND WHO KNOWS, YOU KNOW, MAYBE DOWN THE LINE,

SITUATION WILL ARISE WHERE YOU COULD HOOK ME UP.

ARE YOU GONNA COMMIT TO COMING TO THIS MEETING TOMORROW

OR ARE YOU GONNA BE A BITCH?

YES, YOU DO OWE ME.

TOM HAVERFORD. >> OKAY, KEEP GOING.

KEEP MOVING. NOSE TO THE GRINDSTONE.

NO MEANS YES. >> CAN WE STOP, PLEASE?

BECAUSE IT'S REALLY HOT AND I'M TIRED.

>> YEAH, I'M HOT TOO.

LET'S BLOW IN EACH OTHER'S FACES.

OR WE COULD DRINK SOME WATER. >> YEAH, LET'S DO THAT.

MY HOUSE IS REALLY CLOSE BY.

LET'S JUST GO TAKE A BREAK FOR AN HOUR OR SO.

>> OKAY, OKAY, LOOK, I DIDN'T WANT IT TO HAVE TO COME TO THIS,

BUT, ANN, PLEASE OPEN THE SEALED ENVELOPE THAT'S IN YOUR BINDER.

THIS IS A LITTLE SOMETHING I LEARNED FROM KARL ROVE.

IF YOU WANT TO GUARANTEE THE RESULTS OF A SURVEY,

YOU DESIGN THE QUESTION

TO GIVE YOU THE ANSWER THAT YOU WANT.

>> "WOULDN'T YOU RATHER HAVE A PARK

THAN A STORAGE FACILITY FOR NUCLEAR WASTE?"

THAT SEEMS IFFY.

>> YEAH, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. I MADE IT ALL UP.

>> YEAH, THAT'S-- THAT'S WHAT I MEAN.

>> WOULDN'T YOU AGREE,

LIKE MOST DECENT AMERICANS,

THAT IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA TO TURN

THE ABANDONED LOT ON SULLIVAN STREET

INTO A BEAUTIFUL COMMUNITY PARK?