The Carrie Diaries

Before there was sex,

before there was the city, there was just me,

Carrie... Carrie Bradshaw from Castlebury, Connecticut.

My parents kicked me out.

I was hoping he could stay with us.

Of course he can stay.

Seeing my parents' faces made me feel bad

about what I'm doing.

You being gay... that is their issue, not yours.

These are your college applications.

Time to start planning your future.

Never, ever become friends with one of my boyfriends again.

Okay.

Cool party. I'm Scott.

You don't have to talk to me if it bugs you.

No! I-I like it.

My dad... he's gonna give me an allowance

to find a place in Manhattan.

What do you think about the flat?

I think I can make this work.

Ooh, you are gonna adore it here!

- You gonna be good here? - Yeah.

The Carrie Diaries 02x10 Date Expectations Originally Aired January 10, 2014

Valentine's Day in New York is just as intense

as everything else in the city.

guys knock themselves out looking for the perfect gift.

Reservations at romantic restaurants

fill up weeks in advance.

you wouldn't expect jaded new yorkers

to get caught up in such a mushy holiday.

but that's the thing about expectations.

What you expect and what you can get

can be shockingly different.

Am I in the right place?

I just fixed up the place a little bit.

Put my own stamp on it.

Mm-hmm.

You don't like it?

N-no, it's... it's great. I just, um...

I wasn't expecting such a big...

Hey, what...

What happened to Larissa's zebra-print chaise lounge?

Well, Carrie, in case you hadn't noticed,

I'm a guy.

Oh, I definitely noticed. Whoa! (Chuckles)

What's with the... All the... the skateboards

and the clothes?

- Pretty sick, right? - "Sick"?

Sorry, skater lingo. It means "cool." (Siren wailing in distance)

Since when do you speak skater lingo?

Well, I used to skate with my cousins out in Jersey.

- Oh. - Then when I was in Cali,

I started hanging out with this guy, Tony,

and he's kind of a skating prodigy.

I didn't know there was such thing

as a skating prodigy.

Well, this guy is. Tony Hawk.

Remember the name.

I'm telling you, he's gonna be huge.

What are you, his mom?

Very funny. We became pretty good friends,

and I'm hoping to use some of his contacts

for a business I might be starting.

Wait. What?

Well, he knows everyone in the skateboarding world,

and I think there's a market out there

that hasn't been tapped into.

Like shoes, clothes, all based on skate culture.

And look at these cool designs.

I-I commissioned a street artist to create the decks.

"Decks"?

Yeah, the part of the skateboard that's not the wheels.

Oh.

So these could be on shirts, shorts.

Got it. (Chuckles)

Yeah. I'm really excited about this, Carrie.

Well, then that sounds, uh... sick. (Chuckles)

All right, I'll shut up about skateboards.

Let's talk about Valentine's Day instead.

Oh, yeah? Does that mean...

I made the reservation at One If By Land, Two If By Sea.

Ooh, yay!

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

I know Valentine's Day is cheesy,

but I'm so excited to spend it with you in the city,

especially after everything we've been through together.

I just... I want it to be perfect.

It will be.

Okay.

My expectations for Valentine's Day were sky-high.

But Maggie's weren't nearly so lofty...

For the holiday, or for her future.

You got into Central Connecticut State University.

That's great!

Yeah, with no financial aid.

You can still apply for a loan.

Oh, so I can be broke for the rest of my life

and still have no clue what I'm doing

and have a degree from a lame school.

C.C.S.U.'s a perfectly respectable school.

Please. You're the one who calls it C.C.S.-Loser.

In my defense,

that was before I knew you were going there.

And they have some notable alumni.

Did you know that one of the first governors of Alaska

graduated from there?

Ugh. I would never wanna be the governor of Alaska.

Hawaii. Now we're talking. Not Alaska.

I'm very sensitive to the cold.

Oh, speaking of cold, here comes Donna.

- Let's freeze her out. - Hey, Mouse!

Happy military recruitment week.

I don't know about you,

but I am feeling very... Patriotic.

Make sure you check out the army eye candy.

This year's are particularly fine.

Mm.

What was that all about?

Oh, it's army recruitment time, you know?

The recruiters come to school for two weeks

to sign people up to join after graduation.

That's not what I'm talking about, and you know it.

What is going on with you and Donna?

You two were downright chummy.

- I wouldn't say chummy. - Chummy.

Okay, look, Donna and I kind of had fun

together at Carrie's party last month.

Ugh. I could've stopped that.

I never should've gone away with my parents that weekend.

And then, it turns out,

we have health class together this semester.

And I sit right next to her and she's actually kinda funny.

And I want you to know,

I have strongly suggested to Donna

that she no longer call you names.

Okay, good,

because it is terrible that she calls people names. Mm-hmm.

I would never stoop to that.

Okay, Donna may be a skanky whorebeast,

but she is right about one thing...

those army guys are total babes.

The army will take care of it for you,

not college.

No.

Nope.

Horrid.

Oh. Looks like she's squatting

to give birth in a field in this one.

Ah, here we are.

She only looks slightly constipated here.

Remind me never to book her again.

If you need a model, I'm available.

Darling, this is a high-fashion magazine.

I once walked the runway at the Tallahassee Mall

Back-To-School Fashion Show.

Yeah, I rest my case.

Oh, Walt!

I didn't know you were coming tonight.

Yeah, it's last minute.

Bennet and I are gonna see "Hannah and Her Sisters."

Which I'm very excited about!

- I'll be down in a minute. - Okay.

"Hannah and Her Sisters"?

Shouldn't you be seeing Hank and His Brothers?

Or is girl-on-girl porn a new trend for gay guys?

I can't keep up.

Um, it's a Woody Allen movie.

Woody Allen? What a great porn name.

It's not... (Chuckles)

He's a director.

So he directs porn? Even better.

He wrote and directed "Annie Hall."

And starred in it.

- With Diane Keaton? - I don't know.

Oh, that movie is such a love letter to the city.

Speaking of love,

do you have any suggestions for restaurants

on Valentine's Day?

I wanna plan a romantic dinner for Bennet and me.

Stop right there.

You don't need to make any plans for that night.

You all have to come see me at my new place of business.

You want us to help you sell knives door-to-door?

Oh, honey, I already quit that job.

I'm working the Heartbreaker Party at Boy.

Boy?!

Ooh, I love that place.

You've got a job at the most fabulous gay club in the city?

How did you wrangle that?

Oh, no, wait, wait. Let me guess.

They mistook you for a drag queen!

Their Heartbreaker Party is legendary.

I'm in, of course.

Harlan will be in Budapest on business next week,

and this is the perfect way for me to flirt

with gorgeous men without making him jealous.

What do you say?

I've always wanted to go to that party.

Oh.

Um... (Chuckles) Isn't that the club