black-ish

Behind many a great black man is a strong woman

who sacrificed to raise him right... his mama.

And my mama's the best.

Sorry, other great black men.

Wow.

Tulips, chocolate.

Oh, my God. Wait... Dre.

Are you using the candle you gave me for our anniversary for your mom?

Junior was just in here with that eye-watering puberty funk.

Whew! Whoo.

- Cotton sheets? - Yeah.

Come on. This is my mom, not your mom.

Could have said "anyone." Didn't think that through.

Uh... you know what?

Oh! Why don't you grab the silks?

And while you're doing that, I'm gonna sprinkle potpourri.

- Whoo. - Dre, what are you doing?

You're scattering rose petals like it's the coming of spring.

- Is that what it seems like? - Yeah.

Good. 'Cause that's what I'm going for.

Babe, I know you don't always get along with my mom.

Don't blame this on me.

No, your mom is a bit...

M-much... to deal with, Dre.

She's always coming at me with those passive-aggressive jabs.

My mother is not out to get you.

Dre, she wore white to our wedding,

she cut in on our first dance,

and she had a coughing fit

when the minister asked if there were any objections.

Unfortunately, no matter what I said,

Bow and I always saw my mom's visits a bit differently.

Winter is coming.

Black-ish - 01x08 Oedipal Triangle

I hope grandma Ruby gets here before school.

I am jonesing for a good gift.

Yeah, I bet you are.

Hey, how come she only visits when grandpa pops is in Bermuda?

Oh, it's a special game that divorced people play

called "give me your Lincoln and get out."

Oh!

- She's here! - Me first!

- Me first! - Move! Move!

Okay.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! Y'all stop!

This is my mama, all right?

Mama!

Baby boy!

Whoo!

Whoo!

- My babies! - Grandma!

Oh!

Well, hello, Rainbow.

Hi!

Did you do something around your eyes?

You look...

Less tired.

See, baby? She's trying.

Mm.

Who wants presents?

Yeah!

Here we go.

All right.

Voilà!

Nunchuks!

Look! I'm a killer!

Wow! Cute thong, grandma.

Oh, "Grand Theft Auto V"?!

I read they finally got the hooker blood right.

Okay, okay.

And we will see these again in another 10 years.

Hey, hey, hey, babe.

She's just a grandma celebrating her grandkids.

With nunchuks and thongs?

Oh, mama, are you all right?

You need some water?

Oh, God. Don't die.

You mean too much to me.

I'm all right, baby. Okay.

I guess there's just a lot of dust in this house.

Baby, you gonna have to talk to Rosario, all right?

- Oh... oh? - Yes.

Okay.

I love your hair, grandma.

Oh, thank you, Dee-Dee!

This is all-natural Zulu-Cherokee blend.

Wow.

I don't let anyone hot-comb out my heritage.

Are my ears bleeding, or does it just feel like it?

Hey, mom, let me take you up to your EN suite.

You're gonna love it.

Okay, let's go.

Hey, baby, get Rosario on the phone.

Oh, you think that's r-Rosario's...

- Yes, it's dusty! - Okay.

I found another gum foil!

Nice!

I'll go add this to the stash in my locker.

As soon as we have 50 pounds,

we can bike it to the Recycling Center.

Okay, stop.

Who's that lady you were picking up garbage with?

Oh, that's no lady. That's Natalie Harris.

Hey, I'm kind of stuck in the friend zone with her.

I need advice on asking her out.

Yeah. Don't.

Huh?

Why do you insult me?

I'm Zoey Johnson. I run the social scene here.

Forget about "hopeshepurells" and let's go big-game hunting,

like for...

Her.

Kyra Kang-Nussbaum?

She's a held-back senior.

She votes and smokes.

And I heard she got a boob job.

Plus some light butt work.

And I am gonna get you a date with her.

Oh, God.

One of the highlights of my mom's visits

is her soul-icious spread...

Fried pork chops, biscuits, thick-ass gravy.

I was a pig in mud...

Eating another pig.

Gee. Thanks for waiting for me.

Oh, we would have,

but there's nothing worse than clotted gravy.

Nothin' worse!

What happened to the Kale salad I made for dinner?

That wasn't Jumbo Parsley?

- No. - Oh, I'm sorry.

I used it as garnish for the chops.

For the chops!

Okay, settle down, Jack.

Sweetheart.

- What? - Mnh-mnh.

Baby, get your own meat.

You know you can't eat like this.

Ohhh, but his chipmunk cheeks are so yummy!

Yes, but he needs to watch his numbers.

Oh, now, that's just doctor nonsense.

His heart stops twice a night.

I stop breathing twice a night, okay?

That's different.

Rainbow, honey, I make real food.

Mm-hmm.

Now, you can have your rabbit food

and your yoga... and your therapy.

Um, Ruby...

What exactly do you mean by "therapy"?

Listen, I know you saw a shrink after having the kids.

Not everybody can jump into being a mom.

No judgment.

Therapy's just not something our people do.

We have Jesus... and baths.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Can I talk to you for a minute?

- Get in here. - Ow! Ow!

Okay!

How does your mom know I went to therapy?

I may have innocently told her in passing.

Dre! That's personal!

Babe, but her peach cobbler is so sweet,

it probably made me high.

Don't talk to her about my stuff, okay?

I don't want her throwing it back in my face.

Okay, babe. Y-you're absolutely right.

You know, my mother should have never told you that I told her.

No, Dre. You should have never told your mom.

Right, right, right, right, right.

You know what? I shouldn't talk to my mom.

- Wait a minute. - What?

Are you being sarcastic?

No.

I'm just saying it's crazy for me to talk to my mom.

- Who birthed me. - No, no, no.

I know exactly what you're doing.

You are trying to make me think that you're agreeing with me,

when you are completely not agreeing with me.

Okay, Bow. I'm sorry.

Let me say this clearly so there's no misunderstanding.

Okay.

I will do the very reasonable thing

that you're asking me to do,

which is to never talk to my mom again.

Better?

So I kinda won the battle.

I'm not sure.

But I did know I was gonna lose the war

unless I made things right with Bow.

What is this?

- A peace offering. - Oh.

I didn't mean to betray your confidence.

Hmm.

Ever since I was a kid, my mama was my go-to.

I never had that relationship with pops.

Emotionally, she's all I had.

I hate it when you move me with poignant honesty

about your damaged childhood.

Very damaged.