Animals.

Hello. I'm John Lovitz.

Jealous?

And this, of course, is my dog,

Jerry Bruckheimer III,

named after my friend Jerry Bruckheimer,

the producer.

In the last episode of "Animals"

we followed Phil, Mike, and April,

three young squirrels embarking on a treacherous journey

to escape their overturned tree.

Roll the montage!

Previously on "Animals":

So, here's the deal. I gotta go to work.

I am going to leave Mike in charge.

- Yes! - What are you talking about?

Mom said that in the rare case of an emergency,

we should go to Mrs. Garducci's apartment for help.

- Aah! - Aah!

I'm April. I live two floors above.

Well, well, well, what do we have here?

That's Dennis, he's a bully.

My parents died in the fall,

so I don't have to answer to anybody.

Let's get 'em, guys!

- Easy, easy. - Easy, guys.

Lay a claw on us, and I'll slice your cheeks.

Wait a minute. You're singer-songwriter Kurt Vile.

In the fur, man.

Look, man, Mom put me in charge.

Yeah, well Mom's not here, Mike!

And who knows if we'll ever see her again?

Get your freaking paws off me!

The spirit is watching over us and will seek repentance.

Beware to those who wander!

Muahahahaha!

Aaaaaahahahaha!

Wowee!

This show is nuts!

Ha! Pun intended.

Who the fuck are you?!

Oh, Kurt Vile. I played a song in the last episode.

Now I'm just waiting for my ride.

Oh, please, continue.

Jesus Christ!

You trying to give me a heart attack?

Cut your hair!

You're scaring Jerry.

And now, without further ado,

the thrilling conclusion of...

"Squirrels!"

Do you know "Hot Cross Buns"?

- Quit that! - Aah!

What are you doing in my hallway?

I'm sorry, I don't... I'm scared.

Oh, stop. I'm not gonna bite you.

It's not like you're a nut.

Hahahaha!

Yeah, but... But how do I know you're not a nut?

Well, do you know what a nut looks like?

Yes, I know.

- Do I look like a pecan to you? - No, sir.

Well, do I look like an almond to you?

No, sir, neither.

Well, do I look like a... uh...

- Like a pistachio? - All right, I think I made my point.

- You can stop it now. - Okay.

Come inside.

Whoa, cool stuff you got in here, mister.

I like all your weird spooky paintings.

That's my favorite genre.

Well, thank you. I appreciate that.

I painted them myself.

You painted them yourself?

Cool! I like to draw too.

You know, you sound a lot like me when I was your age.

Heh. Really?

Yeah, high little voice. People thought I was a fairy.

I bet you get bullied a lot, don't you?

I mean, yes.

It's actually quite regular.

You know, people tended to push me away

on account of my milky eyes.

Your eyes are so milky.

- And crazy laugh. - What crazy laugh?

- Hahahahahaha! - There it is.

- Aaaaahahahah! - Oh, God. Jesus.

It's so funny. It's not even scary at all.

Well, it's nice to meet a new face around here.

People don't visit me much.

- Oh. - Anyway, I'm Ben.

Most people call me "Old Ben."

Hello, Old Ben.

- Hello. - My name is Phil.

Well, my name's Ben.

But most of the people around here call me "Old Ben."

Okay.

"Ben" there, done that.

- Hahahaha! - Yeah...

- Aaaahahahahah! - Oh, shit!

It comes in waves.

Is that what you use to doodle?

Oh, this... Yeah, it's my number two.

- It's pretty good. - May I see that?

Please?

Oh, uh, yeah, sure. Here you go.

You're a friend at this point, I don't see why not.

Seems like there's no downsides to it, really, or anything...

What the fuck, Old Ben?! I thought we were cool, man?

- Hold that thought. - Okay.

I mean, I'm kind of fucking fuming.

My only pencil and the rest of 'em

are crushed in my goddamn apartment.

Here you are, my friend.

Whoa!

And with this pen, I knight thee

Phil the Fairy.

- Uh... - And always remember this.

The pen is mightier than the swwword.

Whoa, you pronounce the "W" and everything.

Thanks, Mr. Old Ben, this is awesome.

Enjoy it in good health.

You know, at first I thought you were like, super scary,

but you're actually, like, a really sweet guy...

Oh.

- Hahahahaha. - Oh, no.

- Aaaahahahahaha! - So funny.

Not even scary at all dude, totally fine.

Phil is such a baby,

and he thinks he's so smart.

But I'm the older one, so scientifically

I'm smarter, and he doesn't get that.

Mike, I really think you just need to be more open.

That's actually what a good leader does.

And also, just like a good brother.

First off, I'm a very good brother.

Secondly, don't tell me how to be a leader, okay?

You're from Long Island.

You guys don't even have a president.

What do you have, a prime minister? Eww.

You know what, Mike? You're the baby, and if it wasn't for me,

you'd still be sucking your thumb in Mrs. Garducci's apartment.

I'm gonna go find Phil.

You're gonna keep going by yourself, huh?

Without a leader? Yeah, okay.

Good luck!

April, I'm gonna be honest, I'm worried about you.

This place is dangerous and scary.

April?

Huh.

Ca-caw! Ca-caw!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Come on, come on.

Drop the food, move along!

Pathetic. Peasant. Idiot.

I hate you. I hate you.

You need to lose weight.

Okay. Got it.

Stop.

Linda?!

Oh, fuck. Oh, God. Please don't kill me, Your Highness.

- Oh, fuck. - Linda Zebracowski?

From Green Ridge Middle School?

Uh, yeah.

Are you shitting me? It's me!

It's Rachel! Rach Rach?

Well, the queen now, but you already knew that.

But God, I have not seen you in ages.

You look tired, but you look really good.

Yeah.

What do you say, let's get some coffee and catch up?

- I... - Guards!

Table! Two Chairs! Coffee!

You heard the queen! Two flankers, one in the middle, now!

- Go, go, go, go! - Now!

Linda, sit down.

I'm so sorry.

Are you kidding me? This is an absolute honor.

My grandchildren will hear of this.

Now look at the queen, you ungrateful wench.

Oh, my God, this is so great.

As queen, I never get to just talk to people.

You know, how do we do this even?

Uh, well...

- So, how have you been? - Good.

This is really fun, Linda.

Okay, keep going. What's next?

Um, being the ruler of our colony must be pretty cool?

Oh, it's the best.

But, I'll be honest,

sometimes I wonder if I take the whole

"having unlimited, entirely unchecked power" thing too far.

What do you mean?

Well, like yesterday,

I forced a servant to rip off his own arm

and then do jump rope with it.

That came out of my head, like, I thought of that.

Is that weird?

No. That sounds very, very funny.