Robot Chicken

_

It's alive!

Shame! Shame!

Shame! Shame!

Excellent. So, you're not going to talk.

Then how about a dip in my lava Jacuzzi?

Megatron, you're sure this is a Maximal

in disguise and not just a plain, old panda?

Of course, Scorponok. Look at his smug face.

I'm just asking 'cause these little guys are endangered,

and, well, pretty adorbs.

Yes, I'm ... I'm not a monster.

I wouldn't murder a real panda.

You're loving this, aren't you?

- Eat hot lava, Maximal! - Aah, no!

Sir! He's so helpless and so cute!

- Cute! - Ohh, he's such a little baby!

Oh, my God, did you see that?!

Wow, I was really ready to do it.

- I mean... who am I anymore? - It's the war.

Been out here too long, Megatron.

Yes. I may have PTSD,

but that is a fucking Maximal.

Holy shit, that was close.

Oh, phew!

Shit, that's the deepest character work I've ever done.

Oh, my God, I almost fucking died!

Oh, my baby's home for Thanksgiving.

Michigan, say hello to your cousin.

- Oh, hello, Pepe. - How about that election, huh?

Bet you Hollywood types aren't happy.

Hollywood types? Educated types?

Folks-with-all-their-teeth types?

- Literally-the-whole-planet types?! - Now, boys!

Ohh, I'm sowwy. Feels bad, man.

Does the special snowflake need his blankie?

Could you salt these potatoes with your liberal tears?

Ohh! Get my mother's potatoes

out of your Nazi fucking mouth!

I'm not a Nazi, Michigan. I'm just scared of the future.

Guys like me are getting left behind.

I know you're not a bad dude, Pepe.

You used to be a fun, hilarious guy

until you were co-opted by those

Alt-Right shit buckets for their own nefarious purposes.

They took something pure and perverted it.

They owe your creator ... I mean, your dad ... a big apology.

Frogs, you've been bailed out.

- By who? - By future generations.

They'll be cleaning up the Dumpster fire

your generation started for decades.

Nah, I'm playing. This old lady bailed you out.

Come home for pumpkin pie, boys!

This has been the best Thanksgiving ever!

And maybe this president won't be so bad!

I hate children!

Ever since Monster Mountain was shrunk down and sent here,

we've been too tiny and pocket-sized to scare them!

That good, concise summary of things we already knew, rah!

Boo!

Screams make us bigger.

If we scare people, we'll return to full size.

And then we will be unstoppable!

- The world will be ours! - Rah!

You not need hold our hands. We get it, rah.

Look, the evil monsters got bigger when the child screamed.

But we're good monsters and don't want to make kids scream.

Let's make them scream with laughter, man.

What? Talking bugs?

Oh, man, I'm so wasted.

Uh, uh, we'll get bigger every time you laugh.

Okay, make me laugh, bugs.

Why do golfers bring two pair of pants, man?

In case they get a hole in one.

Cool. I think I hear my weed calling, so...

- I'm-a go... - Wait. Got to read the room.

Um, a guy's buying condoms.

Cashier says, "You want a bag?"

The guy says, "No, thanks. She's not that ugly."

- Ha, ha, ha! - But, look, we're growing.

What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?

A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.

I don't get it, man.

Sorry, villains. Joy will defeat fear every time.

Say, man, where'd the mummy go?

Hmm, "Following my dreams." Signed, "Mummy"?

We've got a great show tonight, okay?

Fetty Wap is here, okay? Stick around.

Pizza, pizza. Aww!

Et tu, Brute, Brute?

I'd build you a shield, but I'm too hungry.

My favorite food is three apples.

If I had two more apples,

I'd have the strength to build a shield.

I can't use this. I can't use this.

Wait, what is this? What are you showing me?

There's a world beyond this room?

It's so big. I had no idea.

I love making potions.

I just wish I had enough spring water.

Okay. I love making potions!

- I just wish ... - Get away from me, man!

- I love making ... - I said get away!

Miss, Miss, I need help.

Do you know where I left my hat?

I think I saw it over by the tree.

- No! - I need 10 fish scales