UHF

Señor...

we must not go any further.

Look!

It is an ancient, sacred Hovitos symbol.

It's certain death for anyone who enters.

We must turn back...

now!

George.

Hello?

Earth to George.

George!

Are you daydreaming again?

No, no, I was just admiring how clean and shiny this grill is.

Come on, George. We're busy here.

You know what the problem is?

Nobody here appreciates a guy with a good imagination.

Well, at least not the people at the lumber yard

or the miniature golf course or Floyd's Fish Market,

or any of the other places you worked in the last month, right?

Yeah. Well, someday... someday they'll be sorry.

They'll be eating breakfast or something

and all of a sudden, they'll say, "Hey! We screwed up!

We never should have fired George Newman

because he's got imagination."

Well, I think the fries are just about done.

Aw, jeez, you better not let Big Edna see that.

- She'll have a fit. - Big Edna, Big Edna.

You sound like a broken record.

Why are you so afraid of that pathetic tub of lard?

Whoa!

How could you do this to me?

I knew this was gonna happen.

You're right, Bob. I'm sorry.

What can I say?

I'm a miserable, worthless hunk of slime.

Here.

I want you to take this crowbar and...

just bash my head right in!

Go ahead, really. Please. Just bash it right in!

George, you know I couldn't do that.

You still owe me five bucks.

Hey, Kuni.

Hiya, George.

Beginner's class today, huh?

Yeah. They're so stupid!

Oh!

Stupid!

Boy!

Look what I got here, Bob.

A twinkie-wiener sandwich!

Your favorite.

Come on, Bob. Cheer up, will you?

You ruined my life.

You know, Bob-o,

I think you're developing a bad attitude here.

You see, Bob... you gotta look at the big picture.

You gotta grab life by the lips

and yank as hard as you can!

See anything in the want ads?

Yeah. But nothing with the prestige of working at Burger World.

So what do you think Teri's gonna say when she hears you got fired again?

Teri? Oh, no. What time is it?

7:30? Oh boy, I gotta go. I'll see you later, Bob.

Stupid!

So, what's your excuse this time?

Well, Bob and I were having

a serious discussion about our various career options.

Boy, I really like what you've done with your hair.

- It's really... - George, did you get fired again?

Yes! Yes! It's all true!

I just don't know what's wrong with me!

So, what's for dinner?

Mashed potatoes? My favorite!

Teri, you shouldn't have.

George!

When are you gonna start taking things a little more seriously?

I mean, you've been wandering aimlessly

from job to job ever since I've known you.

If you could just get that overactive imagination of yours

to work for you instead of against you, maybe you could...

What are you doing?

This means something. This is important.

Oh, George, that is just terrible.

But don't you worry,

you're a fine young man.

I'm sure you'll get another job right away.

You got such a good face.

Look at this face.

Would you look at this face?

Is this a face you could die for?

So, where's Uncle Harvey? I haven't seen him all night.

Oh, he'll be out soon.

I think he's having some sort of last-minute business meeting.

Two pair, aces high.

Yeah, what?

Hey, Louie.

I just wanted to congratulate you, Mr. Bilchik.

You did very well at the track this afternoon.

Oh, yeah? I won again, huh?

Right. Yeah. Thanks, Louie. Bye.

Now, what are we doing here?

It's your deal, Harvey.

Oh, hi, honey.

Have you finished your meeting?

Oh, yeah, yeah,

and business was great tonight.

Harvey, have you been gambling again?

Hey! What are you complaining about?

This is for when you go shopping on Rodeo Drive.

What's this?

Oh, that's the deed to Channel 62.

I won it with a pair of sevens. I was bluffing.

Channel 62?

- Never heard of it. - I'm not surprised.

More people watch the fish tank at Leo's pet store.

It's a little UHF station on the edge of town.

It's been on the brink of bankruptcy for years.

- It's too bad I gotta dump it. - Oh, really?

I kind of like the idea of us having our own TV station.

Forget about it.

They can't even find anybody to manage the place anymore.

Harvey, I know somebody who'd be perfect for the job.

Oh, yeah? Who's that?

George! George, dear, can you come over here for a second?

Oh, no.

No, not him. Forget it. No way.

I can't believe your Uncle Harvey's

letting you run his TV station.

Hey, he trusts me.

Besides, he's going to California.

He doesn't want to be bothered with it.

Well, here we are.

This is it?

Wow, this is even better than I imagined!

Come on. Let's go check it out.

I don't know, George.

I'm not so sure about this.

See? The front door's open.

It's a friendly place.

Hey, mister!

Change? You got change?

Oh... sure.

85...

95...

one dollar!

Thanks, mister.

Hello. I'm Mr. Ed.

A horse is a horse, of course, of course

And no one can talk to a horse, of course

That is, of course, unless the horse

Is the famous Mr. Ed

Go right to the source and ask the horse

He'll give you the answer that you'll endorse

He's always on a steady course

Talk to Mr. Ed

Can I help you?

Who are you?

I'm Philo.

Chief engineer.

So...

isn't it a little late for you to be working?

I mean, what time do you normally go home?

This is my home. I live here.

Hold these.

No, no, like this.

What are you doing?

Oh, I just want to see if my interociter

can withstand a sudden charge of 60,000 volts.

What?

Yeah...

it works.

Do do do do

Wee-oo, wee-oo

Do do do do

Do wah do wah...

I don't know about this, George. I mean, I don't know the first thing

about what goes on at a television station.

Don't worry, Bob. It's just like working in a fish market,

except you don't have to clean and gut fish all day.

Yeah, so? Can I help you?

Hi. I'm George Newman.

I'm the new station manager.

You know, when I first took this job,

they told me that this position was only temporary

and that eventually, when the time was right,

I would be moved up to news, which is really my forte.

You know how long I've been working here?

Two years!

It's kind of hard to get promoted

when every other week you have a new boss!

This job really sucks.

And this is my friend Bob.

Hi. Nice to meet you.

Howdy, friends. It's Crazy Ernie

from Crazy Ernie's Used Car Emporium.

It's a giant supermarket of cars!

I got so many cars people come up to me and say,

"Hey, Crazy Ernie, where'd you get all those cars?"

Lookie here! I got red cars, I got green cars!

I got enough cars to choke a camel!