Glee

I thought you weren't allowed here.

I'm permitted on school grounds

as long as I'm getting my work.

Oh, I wanted to tell you I'm available

for vocal coaching if you need any help.

We need to bring our "A" game

if we have any chance of beating the Trouble Tones.

Oh, we're not gonna have any trouble with them.

Not as soon as I have Shelby Corcoran fired.

She's sleeping with Puck.

Look, that's a really, really dangerous rumor

to make up, okay?

You're gonna ruin her entire reputation.

That's the plan. And it's not a lie.

I heard it from Puck.

First of all, Puck is 18, so what he and Shelby are doing,

even though it's just wrong and so gross, it's not illegal.

So all you're doing is you're just,

you're getting her fired,

which is gonna take away her income

to provide food and clothes

and put a roof over her child's tiny little blonde head.

Sounds like an unfit mother.

And I'll be waiting in the wings

when they take Beth away from her.

Beth loves her mom.

Shelby is her real mom.

Look, you've done a lot of really bad things, Quinn,

but if you tell people about this Puck-and-Shelby thing,

you'll be ruining this little girl's life,

and then you'll have really hit rock bottom.

Sectionals is in our auditorium for the first time since 1963,

Too much talking, not enough looking

for songs for Sectionals.

We need to do something upbeat.

Mr. Shue, maybe we need to concentrate

on our performer problem before we set a set list.

I mean, at least the Cheerios! can dance.

We need star power.

We need Sam Evans.

Sam transferred. His whole family moved.

We don't even know where he is.

He's in Kentucky.

It's just across the border from Cincinnati.

It's about a four hours from here.

Even homeless people have Facebook.

Rachel and I might as well get used

to a life of barista work and summer stock.

There's no way we're getting into NYADA now.

If we don't win at Sectionals,

I pretty much have nothing to live for.

New Directions! is a mess, and we're gonna lose, Kurt,

and I can't do a thing about it.

Every time I open my mouth,

Finn gives me these looks like, "What does he think he's doing?"

I know what I'm doing.

Hey, guys!

It's so crazy. I'm sitting

over there checking out this guy

and all of a sudden I'm, like,

"Wait a second I know that hair."

What's up, buddy? Haven't seen you online.

Hi, Kurt.

We've been really busy with Glee Club.

Practicing for Sectionals... together.

Mmm, congrats on the Warbler win at your sectionals.

We're up this week.

Yeah. Well, hey, if there's one guy that can whip New Directions

into a legitimate threat, it's Blaine Anderson, right?

Right. I need another coffee.

I don't like you.

Fun. I don't like you either.

I don't like the way you talk to my boyfriend,

I don't like your smirky little meerkat face,

I don't like your obnoxious CW hair. I'm onto you.

Let's get a few things straight. Blaine's too good for you.

New Directions! is a joke.

And one of us has a hard luck case

of the gay-face, and it ain't me.

Odds are by the end of the school year, I'll have Blaine

and a nationals trophy, and you'll have khakis

and a Lima Bean apron and that gay face.

You smell like Craig's List.

What are you guys talking about?

Duh, the next time we're all going out drinking, killer!

Uh-oh. Well, I gotta run.

But you take care of that Warbler, Kurt.

Wait. This can't be the right place.

Sam works in a bar?

Well, there just aren't a lot of theaters in Northern Kentucky,

so theatre groups just have

to perform in whatever space they can find.

There's a lot of ladies here-- like, older ladies.

Finn, it's no secret that dinner theater appeals

to elderly women.

Good afternoon, ladies!

Are you ready to meet the men of Stallionz?

Then please welcome to the stage-- Cobra!

I didn't know Backdraft was a musical.

Someone get the door, 'cause here comes Mr. Package.

Oh, God, no.

And ladies, let's give

a warm welcome to White Chocolate!

That's not an image I can ever get out of my mind.

Give me a dollar.

What? Just give me a dollar.

Rach-Rachel...

I tried getting a real job.

DQ was great and I got two free Blizzards a day,

but it paid just over minimum wage. Thanks.

You know how much I made this afternoon?

60 bucks.

$61... in 15 minutes.

Am I ashamed I work here? Yeah, I'm ashamed.

My dad got a job working construction to pay the rent,

but when my brother needs a new pair of shoes

or the TV busts, these abs pay for it.

Your parents don't know that you work here?

No, they just think the DQ pays really well.

I'm good at this.

You're good at it because you have

that a boy-next-door innocence

that makes you approachable, okay?

You're good at it for all

the reasons that you shouldn't be doing it.

Come back to McKinley, Sam. We need you for Sectionals.

Tell me you don't want it.

Dude, you're young, you got so much potential.

Working re is, like, throwing your life away.

Okay, I want it... but my dad will never let me.

Don't know till you ask.

Here we go.

Dad, Mom, what I'm trying to say

is I want to go back to Ohio with them.

They need me to compete at Sectionals this weekend.

And he could stay at one of our houses,

so it wouldn't be like he was homeless.

Not that there isn't

a quiet dignity in that or anything.

You think you two could go in the other room,

make yourselves busy, please?

Yeah, totally-- I'm really good at looking busy.

Son...

we've had a really tough year,

but now we've back on our feet.

You had to become a man much sooner

than other kids your age.

I'm-I'm proud of what we've all done.

It's just that...

I miss being a teenager.

Hey-hey-hey-hey...

Mom, please don't... Look, if you cry, I won't go.

I'm just crying because...

it just makes me so sad

to think of not seeing your face every day.

Though I don't understand why

the Dairy Queen makes you put that glitter all over it.

This gonna make you happy?

You have no idea.

Come on.

Are we sure yet which band members are joining us?

Well, it looks like "Floppy Hair Bass Dude,"

"Chapped Lips McGee," and "Johnny Tromboner."

God, we're screwed. No, we're not.

I know for a fact that we're winning.

Hey, great news, everybody.

Sectionals is going to be

a challenge, but we have a--

Mr. Shue, we all appreciate your endless supply

of affirmations, but all the sparkling cider in the world

can't deny the fact that the Titanic has hit

the iceberg and now we're on a sinking ship.

Not if I can help it.

Hey. Hi!

Come here!

I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for Finn and Rachel.

I sort of lost my way, but...

true friends help you find your way back.

Let's hear it for Sam Evans!

All right, enough of the sentimental stuff.

It's time y'all get a little country

back in this joint! Oh!

Cheers!

Two, one, two, three.

(Toby Keith's "Red Solo Cup" begins)

Red solo cup, you're not just a cup.

God, no!

You're my...

Friend?

You're my friend.

Thank you for being my friend, red Solo cup.