Renegade Nell

Stand and deliver!

Whoa!

Get out!

I said get out!

Careful, careful, we don't want to upset the ladies.

Lordy, no.

We don't want to frighten them

- into telling us where their jewelry... - Over here!

And that is hid.

We want them to tell us of their own volition.

- Define volition, Algernon. - Sorry, boss?

The power of the will to do things voluntarily.

You'll have to excuse the mathematicians, madam.

With their heads crammed so full of algebra and geometry,

they forget their manners.

So what's gonna happen now is

Algernon and Chumley here are going to furtle through your things

whilst I entertain you all with my effortless charm

- and cheery banter. - Hey, boss, he's got a knife.

Don't try anything on with me, sunshine,

because you won't live to tell the tale, if you do.

All right.

Hands.

Boss!

What's all this, lad?

I'll deal with this. You go and acquit yourself venerably.

Nice threads.

I can see myself parading around in them boots.

In your own time.

- You're... - What?

Not a man.

And?

Is that gold?

- Is what gold? - That ring on your finger.

Yeah.

I think you might need to donate that to the cause.

I don't think you heard me, lady,

- I said... - No, I heard you.

I was just ignoring you.

Little word of warning, you don't want to mess with me.

I like you. No, I do. You're my kind of woman.

Sadly,

- business has to come before pleasure. - Right.

Now, do like you're told.

Go on.

You all right?

Hello.

- My God. - What?

Come on. Over here.

Kick it.

Come on. Over here. Go on.

Come on.

- You're all right. - Have it.

Sorry, mister.

- What is this? - Pig's bladder.

Did something happen here?

Thomas Blancheford kicking up a rumpus.

My God.

Which one of you two is George?

Go fetch your daddy.

Dad! Shop.

You serve him, girl.

You know where the sherbet lives.

She don't want no sherbet. She wants you.

She?

Hi, Dad.

Roxy! Where's Roxy? Roxy.

- Your Nell's back! - What?

Nell. Your Nell. She's back.

Nell's dead.

I'm widowed.

Captain Jackson, he's dead. He died.

He was blasted in half at the Battle of Blenheim.

And you with him.

That's what we heard.

I wondered why everyone was looking at me funny.

So, the thing is, I was kind of wondering if I could stay here... for a few nights.

Well, I thought you didn't want anything else to do with us dead legs.

Those were the last words out of your mouth

before you walked through that door with your swanky captain.

Yeah, well...

I've grown up a lot since then.

Nell?

Nelly!

Let me see you.

Look at you.

And don't call me Nelly.

All right. All right.

What is this?

Pa wouldn't pay for a proper one.

So we made that.

You wound him up good when you left.

Do you mind if I pull it up?

Only it's giving me the creeps.

Go ahead, Nelly.

Nell. Sorry.

Let's go.

So why is Lord Blancheford kicking up a rumpus, then?

It isn't Lord Blancheford.

- 'Tis his son. - Thomas.

- Do you remember him? - No.

- Well, he grew up. - Mean and stupid.

This is his idea of fun.

So why doesn't anyone do anything?

'Cause we're all his tenants.

Or will be when anything happens to his old man.

Roxy, all my neighbors are on the warpath.

Roxanne, you better shake yourself.

Well, you tell her my long lost sister's home from the dead.

I did. She said it can't happen.

- Ahoy, Nelly. - All right.

- I better go. - Yeah.

- I'm on me last warning. - Come here.

- You must go sweet talk Pa. - I will.

Worst thing about Thomas is he's got the hots for Roxy.

- Yeah? - And he comes in the tavern, drunk,

saying things, and Dad daren't do nothing.

See to me horse, boy.

Are you hungry?

Yeah, let's eat hay.

Let's get you some hay.

Has he been whooping you again?

"Yeah, but I got my own back.

I threw him off, twice."

Nice.

Sire.

Afternoon.

This morning, Thomas,

my steward received a delegation from the village

with an extraordinary story that you had shot a man's horse.

It was an accident.

They said you were drunk,

that you rode up and down the street, terrorizing people.

That horse was Nathan Halliday's living.

Do you understand nothing about these people's lives?

I'm their magistrate. They come to me for justice.

One day, God help them, they'll come to you.

Are you laughing at me?

Certainly not.

I'm stopping your allowance.

- What? - Until such a time

as I can trust you to behave properly.

Don't make me disinherit you.

And Lord knows it's tempting

because your sister would be a thousand times more reliable.

Grow up.

For heaven's sake. For everyone's sake.

And until then, stay out of the village.

Is it true you wouldn't pay for a proper headstone for me?

She can sleep in the shed with the donkey.

- One night only. You tell her. - One night?

You broke my heart, lady.

You won't do it twice.

Right. One night.

All right!

You can stay

in the house.

But you're working.

When didn't I?

You can get some proper clothes on.

I haven't got a dress.

Well, look in the cupboard, on the landing.

I kept all Elizabeth's things after she died.

I think maybe he would have forked out for a headstone for you.

Only I don't think he liked thinking about you dead.

Thank you.

You look just like your mother.

Come here.

Help yourselves! Dive in!

It ain't every day a man's daughter is back home from the dead!

It's a miracle, Sam Trotter!

Hey, George, George.

Go get Nelly, girl. Everyone's dying for a glimpse.

Go, go, go, go.

She'll be down.

That looks good. Let's see it from the front.

You look so good, Nell.

- Yeah? - Yeah. Is it comfortable?

No. What's all this about?

- Do you miss him? Captain Jackson? - Nell! Nell!

Dad wants you downstairs now.

Everybody wants to see you with their own eyes.

Everyone wants to hear about the war.

Where's your sword?

I do miss him a bit.

Except...

I don't think he's left me,

even if he is dead.

It's like today, I got held up by these highwaymen.

- You didn't. - And one of them hit me. I did.

And it's like...

I don't know, something happens to me...

inside, and...

you should see me.

I'm untouchable.

That'll be him.

Thomas.

- Yeah. - Buckleigh, you buffoon.

Get over here.

Yeah.