Love Me Tender

Listen to this! Listen to this, you fellows! You fellows, listen!

General Grant chased the Rebs out of Richmond four days ago.

And it's rumored that Lee's already surrendered.

The war is over!

- Here's the captain's papers. - Get those Yanks out of here quick.

All right, you two, get this body out of here. Get him out of here, Davis.

- Pardee, get these men out of sight. - Come on.

Now come on, let's go.

Hurry it up, Mike. Hurry it up.

- Captain Cagle? - Yes, sir.

- Brevet Major Harris. - We've been expecting you, major.

Here's the warrant for the payroll.

Well, you brought a very small guard for this much money.

- There's no Rebs within 50 miles. - What about Randall's raiders?

We drove those bushwhackers clear out of Louisiana

with their tails between their legs.

Well...

All right. Hand it down.

Where's the station agent?

He got taken sick all of a sudden. One of the boys took him back to camp.

Where you going?

- Back to the train. - Go ahead.

Just stand beside it with your mouth shut and get on when it pulls out.

I'll be watching you from this window.

Sign this receipt. And get that money to your camp in a hurry.

Stop them, major! They're rebels.

- They shot the station agent! - What?

Get after them, you darn fools! They stole your payroll.

- You all right? - Yeah. Let's get out of here.

Fire at them, they're rebels!

Hey, lieutenant. Ain't that a federal offense, breaking open them boxes?

Ain't that a beautiful sight?

Makes you feel like a sore-eyed kitten with a whole basin full of milk.

Yeah. What a pity it don't belong to us.

How much you figure it comes to?

$12,250.

Lieutenant, how about making that a neat, round sum?

Say $10,000, and us fellows dividing up the difference?

Why, you thieving river rat. The Army'd shoot us for that.

How'd they know about it? Who would tell?

- I wouldn't, for one. - Me neither.

Look at us. A bunch of starved scarecrows, whipped and dead broke.

We got nothing coming out of this war except shriveled guts and saddle sores.

You got a mighty tempting argument. But I kind of doubt if it's legal.

It ain't legal, Vance, or moral.

Confederacy can use that money a heap more than we can.

You're right. Tomorrow we're taking this to General Randall.

Well, we tried anyway. Let's get into this grub.

The regiments broke camp and moved out.

Yeah. But where to?

I don't know. The general said they'd wait for us right here.

Been away eight days. Might've been attacked.

Or ordered away all of a sudden.

We better ride into Claysville and find out.

What's your regiment, soldier?

Fifth Louisiana Rifles, or what's left of them.

Where's Randall's outfit?

The cavalry disbanded two or three days ago.

Scattered every which way so as not to give up the horses.

You fellows would be wise to do likewise before the Yanks confiscate them.

Wait a minute. What are you talking about? What's happened?

What's happened? You mean you ain't heard?

General Lee surrendered to Grant four, five days ago.

Appomattox Courthouse in Virginia.

Surrendered? You're crazy.

No, that's a fact, lieutenant.

All of us gave up our guns in Shreveport last Monday.

So the war's over. We can all go home.

If you've got one left to go to.

Now that the brigade's scattered, how we gonna find the general?

- That's just it. We can't. - We gotta try, Vance.

- Why? - Why?

To give him the money, of course.

I don't know. The surrender changes everything.

We gotta talk it over.

We can't take this money, Vance. It don't rightly belong to us.

Then tell us who it does rightly belong to.

Well, it belongs to the Confederate government, I suppose.

Confederate government? There ain't no more Confederate government.

- It's finished. - That's the truth, Brett.

They'll probably hang Jeff Davis and throw all the others in prison.

Well, then it must still be Federal property.

You mean we ought to give it back to them? Like thunderation we will.

I got a minnie ball in my leg that's gotta be paid for.

Your own brother nearly died of gangrene in a Yankee prison.

- Ain't that worth nothing to you? - Listen.

We didn't steal this money. We took it in battle, fair and square.

It's what they call "spoils of war," like capturing a horse or anything else.

We didn't know the war was over and neither did the Federals.

So it's still prize money.

It's ours. You don't have to take your share, if it sticks in your craw.

How do you feel about this, Ray?

What Vance says makes sense to me.

If we got a right to it, we'd be plumb fools not to take it.

So it's settled. I got it all figured out.

We got $1750 apiece coming to us.

Wait till I get back to Georgia with this.

I'm gonna buy me a hog and a dog and a rocking chair.

And we all three just gonna sit there and scratch.

Not us. We're gonna fix us up the best farm in east Texas, huh?

You bet. But first,

I'm gonna get married.

Cathy's been waiting four years. It seems more like 40 to me.

And now, instead of going back to her empty-handed, I got this money.

Yanks!

Look at them. All brave and sassy now that they licked us.

Not us, Mike. Maybe the South is licked

but not us.

Still, it's smarter if we split up here and now.

- So long, Mike. - So long, Vance.

Whenever you get to Texas, you know where to find me.

I ain't ever gonna leave that rocking chair.

- Goodbye, Brett. Lots of luck. - Thank you.

- Goodbye. - Sarge.

Tucker. Vance.

You're new around here. What happened to McComb?

He joined the Army. I'm minding the store until he gets back. If he's still alive.

Vance, how you think Ma would like this bonnet?

Oh, fine. That's pretty. See if they have a fancy one

with lace and long pink ribbons on it for Cathy.

No, that's the only one I got left. Anyhow, who feels free nowadays?

He does! He's going home to get married.

That's if we clean him up enough so his sweetheart'll recognize him.

Don't worry. Cathy would know me a mile away.

Sure wish I could take her a real nice present like a gold ring or a bracelet.

Sorry. But that's all the female finery I got left, mister.

Except this here bustle, which I've been using for a mousetrap.

- And give us that too. - Hey, Vance.

Now this is fit and proper for a bridegroom.

- And it's just your size too. - Say, this feels like real broadcloth.

Sure is, mister. Probably the last good suit left in the state.

How much you want?

Well, with the pants, that'll cost you $14.

And I'll throw in a pair of galluses free.

- I'll take it. - I mean hard money.

No Confederate shinplasters.

This look hard enough for you?

A $20 Federal bill. I ain't even seen one of these since '63:

- Does that cover what we owe you? - Sure. Sure, I'll go wrap them up.

Well, Jethro! Well, I'll be dad-burned if it ain't old Jethro!

- You're a sight for sore eyes. - You worthless old rascal.

How'd you ever stay alive all these years?

What's the matter, Jethro? We ain't changed that much, have we?

You look kind of surprised to see us.

We heard you were dead, Mr. Vance.

Well, he done near was.

That minnie ball just misspelt my name a little.

Say, you mean our folks don't even know I'm alive?

No, sir. Nobody does.

Come on. We'll ride by Cathy's house and tell her first.

She ain't there no more. Her folks was killed in the same raid your pa was.

- Where is she? - Your place. She moved in with your ma.

Strange how things work out.

We go off and fight four years. But they come and kill him here at home.

Whole place looks mighty run down.

Yeah. Plumb wore out, like us.

Come on, let's go in yelling like we used to.

Ma?

Ma, ma.

My son!

They told me you were dead.

They were almost right.

But here's what's left of me, Ma.

Just think. All three of you.

Brett!

Ray.

All my sons. Home again.

Clint!

- Clint! - Oh!

Clint, come running!

Cathy! Cathy!

Vance.

Cathy.

Let me have a good look at you, honey.

Yeah, that's just how I've seen you night and day for four long years.

Except for those britches.

Clint! Clint!

Vance!

Oh, no!

No, this can't be the sprat! Look at how he's grown and filled out.

Why, he's almost a man now, ain't he, Cathy?

- They told us you were dead. - Yeah.

Yeah, I know. I know. Now, come on. Come on. Tell me about you all.

I can see we got a heap of work to do.

The first thing is to get Cathy out of those britches and into a dress.

Been trying to, but she works harder than a mule all day helping me and Ma.

You don't have to anymore. We got three new farmhands.

Come on, I got a bushel of things to tell you.

Vance? I don't reckon you could have known about this,

but me and Cathy got married about three months ago.

Married?

Well, this is a...

This is a day of surprises all around.

I don't know what we'd have done without Cathy, son.

Or her without us after her folks died.

We had mighty poor scratching to keep body and soul together

waiting for the war to end.

Well, it must've been hard.

Well...

Congratulations, Clint.