Teddy Told Me To

All right, gang we're back in Boulder City, Nevada.

And right behind me is something insane.

Just off the main drag is this abandoned, haunted attraction

that used to be known as the Spook House

all the way back in the '90s.

And it has laid here untouched and completely forgotten

about for years.

But I think I just cracked the code

on how to get inside, dude.

No way.

Holy cow, I didn't know they left full-on props in here.

You can just see how long this stuff has been

out here decaying in the sun.

I'll try to use my flashlight as little as I possibly can

so we don't attract too much attention while we're outside.

And hopefully, I'll maybe get all the way

inside the haunt, dude.

This is where guests used to walk.

Of course, there'd be scare actors

popping out every which way.

This is unbelievable.

For those of you who haven't heard

the legend that some of the visitors to the old Spook House

were actually killed inside the haunt, not as part of the act,

I mean, actually killed here.

Hello?

Hello?

Can't be too sure.

It's so dark in here.

No way.

Do you believe how many faces there are?

Oh, yes, look at this guy.

He's still doing his duty.

This is insane.

Won't you look at the size of this place.

I could look at this for hours, but it's probably

not the best idea, given that people aren't exactly

supposed to be in here.

But at least, we got to see the inside of an abandoned

haunted attraction.

All right, guys, that's it for me.

You've done your duty.

You can go home and sleep.

No,.

This is so crazy.

That's hype.

You can't ask for better advertising than that.

You don't think it's real, do you?

Does it matter?

Yeah, it matters.

We're going to be buying this place.

I don't want to us to be next.

Well, in that case, it's not real.

It's just so weird.

This guy posts all the time, and now there's nothing.

It's just strange.

Listen.

Do you want to be slinging drinks

at the bar on the weekends for the rest of your life,

or do you want to be your own boss?

This place could make us enough money in one month

to last the rest of the year.

This is the future.

You're right.

You're right.

And there's no one I'd rather scare the bejesus out

of customers with than you, Danny.

This year.

Let's go.

Well, hi.

I'm Jan.

And you must be Dan and Zoe.

Actually, it's Danny and Zo.

Boy oh boy, was I surprised to get a call on this property.

I think every realtor in this town

has had a turn at this listing.

I

Love it already.

Can we go inside?

Yup.

You just go on right around inside.

That door's open.

Now, Dan and Zoe, you're the first couple

that I've shown this property to.

Would you let me know if you see any squatters in there?

Sure.

Thanks.

Also, it's Danny and Zo.

I didn't say anything about squatters.

She's definitely too scared to come in.

This is great.

This place is too terrifying for the realtor

even to show us around.

I mean, I was skeptical at first because of the outside,

but it's really amazing how it's like they walked out of here

and left everything.

I'm sorry.

Hey, hey, babe, check out this stuff.

That video, that's the best advertising

we could ever hope for.

Everyone already knows about this place.

It's perfect.

So what do you think?

Yes, right?

I mean, it's kind of crazy.

Yeah.

Yes.

Yeah, let's do it.

Hey, Zoe and Dan.

I just got a call, and someone wants to see this place.

Should I call them and schedule a showing for them?

Let's make her squirm just a little bit longer.

Jenny, you just sold a haunted house.

Great.

Well, I'll contact the office, and they'll email

you the paperwork to sign.

evil resides, awake in the past,

step inside.

through the walls, take your bath,

grow your.

, go go.

Hey, go go.

Hey, go go.

Hey, go go.

I should have listened to the warning.

I should have not stayed.

But a bloody knife in hand going out to play.

Hey, go go,..

Hey, go go, me alive.

Hey, go go.

cry.

Hey, go go.

Die, die, die, die.

I see you over there, yes, you.

Come on over and let Zoltar be sharing with you your fortune.

Hey.

Hi.

Would you mind putting one of these up in your window?

I'd really appreciate it.

Yeah, no problem.

Awesome.

And come down and see the haunted house.

It's going to be a lot of fun.

Oh, sure.

Bye.

Thank you.

Audition flyers are done.

Check.

But we still have a lot to do to get ready for next week.

Oh, it'll be fine.

Let's just see how many people show up to the auditions.

And trust me, speaking from experience, haunters

will love to help out, whether it means sweating your face off

behind a mask or building props, not sleeping till November.

I'll tell you what.

They're going to love every second.

True words have never been spoken

by someone who chased me with a chainsaw on our first date.

Ah.

But just in case, I did call in a reinforcement, who should

be here in 5, 4, 3, 2, now.

Guess who?

Jim.

Oh god, it's good to see you.

Good to see you, brother.

Give me some of that.

Of course.

Oh--

Please--

beautiful.

-join us.

We're just sitting here, plodding away

at our entire life's future.

Well, then allow me.

Now--

Hey, can I get you something to drink?

Oh, no.

That's OK, gorgeous.

All right.

You guys good?

Yes.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I like this town.

Now, where were we?

Let's see, all right, oh, I see long lines.

Oh, that's good.

Long lines, lots of people, screaming-hot people.

Danny, some of these people have pissed in their pants.

Oh, I see sexy babes, hot, sweating, heaving, sexy babes.

And I'm here to turn this visualization into a reality.

Now, when Zo told me what you guys had going on up here,

I knew I had to come up here, check it out for myself, set

you guys up with the most killer security

camera system in the world.

Hey, you don't have to do that.

We just want you to come and have a good time.

Oh, I do.

I do.

Guys, this is my passion, all this techie camera