Gulabo Sitabo (गुलाबो सिताबो)

We'll see who uses a bulb now!

Welcome one...

Welcome all...

Here's Sitabo...

And this one's Gulabo...

She comes with a 'Hazratganj' tag.

And this one's landed from 'Aminabad,Gadbadjhala'...

And all she wants is to lose herself in the lanes of 'Chandni Chowk'.

Smart is she.

And clever is she.

The battle is set,The lines are drawn, Seething in anger,

Gulabo fights, Oh yeah, Sitabo fights.

When the village gathered for a feast...

-Here you go. -Hmm.

-Begum! -Yes?

Check these out once... Will you?

Wait a bit, mister.

The battle is set, The lines are drawn, Seething in anger,

Gulabo fights, Oh yeah, Sitabo fights.

The battle is set, The lines are drawn, Seething in anger,

Gulabo fights, Oh yeah, Sitabo fights.

The battle is set, The lines are drawn, Seething in anger,

Payal... Neetu...Gulabo fights, Oh yeah, Sitabo fights.

Payal... Neetu... The battle is set, The lines are drawn, Seething in anger,

What on earth is going on?

I've been around the whole town looking for you two...

...and here you are, embarrassing the family name!

C'mmon missies, out of here for shame sake.

And you, Mirza, only a douche bag like you would...

...make my little girls dance on the streets. I swear if you ever...

There you go again, with your tongue...

...moving faster than a pickpocket's scissors.

Now if I start using mine, you wouldn't know where to run.

Spare me your nonsense and give me my share of pennies.

- Oh forget it, he's the greediest man alive. - Hah...! Never.

Yeah am fine being greedy.

Ya what more can an old sourpuss be.

I'll eat milk pudding with saffron extracts and won't share.

Greedy, yeah.

Go to hell!

Twenty rupees...

Stop dropping it on my forehead!

Well I'm not doing it on purpose... sit straight then, will you?

Get off from here...

Don't you stain my face!

Now who's lit this bulb early in the morning?

Switch it off!

Mumbling...

-Tch...what're you doing, Begum? -I'm just wiping-

This'll dry up in no time. It's April for god sake!

and when did April come?

How the hell does it matter?

Payal, set up Dadda's (brother's) tiffin.

Amongst all these things...that huge bucket... those leather chappals...goats...

...all that got stolen was my damn bulb?

His bicycle bell is missing too.

To hell with your bell!

- My bell! - Oh just ignore this gobshite and get me some tea.

My bulb got stolen and you're calling me names? Really?

He's crying as if he's lost all his goddamn family wealth.

- He doesn't even have a face of a wealthy man! -

Remember the day Nehru ji came,

those petty thieves were all over the town plaguing it like rats...

...must be one of them who stole his bulb.

Bang on, Begum!

He's a plagued rat of a thief who's been stealing off us...

...and making a measly penny or two.

Well he better watch out 'cause I won't spare him.

Why are you forever stuck to the TV?

Go study.

I'm done with my home work... moreover, it's a holiday.

So? All the more reason to study...uh...

What grade are you in?

Three.

Three? But I've been paying that damn fee for years!

Brother!

What?

I want to take up a job.

Get done with your grade 12 first.

I'm in the final year of undergrads.

I'd told her to let you know.

What grade are you in?

Eighth.

C'mmon you guys are not allowed to grow up that fast!

Your brother is not a rich dude yet.

So there's no point talking to him!

As for me, marriage is not my thing...

I'd much rather earn my own salary and live respectfully...

...in any case, I'm living in this home of ours.

Yeah but we don't own it... it's a rented one.

Rent? We've grabbed it!

What rubbish!

That's what Uncle Mirza goes around saying it to everyone.

Mirza needs to be dug up in this mansion.

Are you nuts?!

[Morning prayers from a distant mosque and temple bells...]

Your tenant Baankey Rastogi, he's a daft pillock!

Do you really reckon that he, an owner of a wheat mill in the main market...

...won't have money to pay a higher rent?

Are you asking me this or telling me?

Umm...no I am just saying.

Oh ok, just saying.

That where on earth can one rent out a house for just 30 rupees?

You won't stop grating on my nerves, will you?

And only if you were less thick...

...you'd remember he hasn't paid up for last three months.

Of course I know his story.

His aunt died, father died.

He's still stuck around like a blood-sucking leech.

The day Begum dies...

...I swear to her grave, I am going to throw out these roaches of tenants...

...who are infesting my home and then that mansion...

It'll be yours...

Yeah...only mine.

Say that again...

Mansion will be yours!

Mansion will be mine!

There are five of us staying in a pigeonhole, Fauzia...

...a small curtained section in the kitchen is where my mom and sisters bathe...

...and we share the toilet with Mishraji's family...

...how do I even think of getting married?

When did I even ask for marriage?

But I didn't know you were this poor...

I mean, I thought staying in FATIMA MAHAL...

...you must be of some rich lineage.

For god sake can you all not be after that mansion?

I'm not after anything, okay?

Pity you're not the landlord but there's no need to get so cheesed off.

I'm not getting cheesed off!

Nor do I fancy being the landlord of that godforsaken dilapidated mansion...

One kick and there won't be any of it left.

Fine...kick it and stop blabbering...and just don't get cheesed off...

I am not cheesed off, ok?

It's 4 pm already, sir...

Wait, don't open yet...

I'll see you next week...

...with that chocolate biscuit...

I'm not that poor that I can't buy a damn chocolate biscuit for you.

It's late...

See you.

Yeah.

Bhaiyya, this weighing scale is faulty.

What do you expect me to do? Sit on it?

How about paying up for last two months?

Of course I will.

Then do that first!!

What you doing here like a snoopy sewer rat, looking for breadcrumbs...huh?

Are you increasing the rent from this month or next?

'cause your trashy scoofer existence is getting unbearable you see.

Now what can I say about your tolerance level.

As for rent...

...this is what it is, take it or leave it and just so you know,

we're never vacating this place. Goodnight!

Don't you dare come between me and my mansion! Or else...

With one leg already in grave, are you threatening me?

Look I'll just call the university goons...

...and all your dreams of mansion will turn into a nightmare...

So just chill.

Oh I'll show you what a nightmare is!

Neetu... go shower now! Always wasting time.

What?

Parking slip, 50 rupees everyday.

House tax has increased...

Are you a twit? Or you think I am one?

Now move...

No, I won't let you.

Gawd...tch...am getting late for work...move...!

Then just pay up and take your bike...

But you haven't charged a penny from Sayyad and Mishraji...

Even they have their bicycles and scooter parked here.

Yeah but they're not the ones who pay 30 bucks as house rent!

Just back off,Mirza, and play with those goats there...

...you've no idea what I can do to you.

Oh really? The day I throw you outta here...

...lock stock and barrel... you'll land in hell Mister...

Not even a dog will come and piss on your face...we'll see then.

Am not scared of anyone...

This is my mansion...

Not your damn parking... is that clear?

Ya ya I got scared.

This is my mansion...

Dare you come again with your bike.

You want to grab my house... dare you even think...

- C'mmon...show me...anyone...? - Mirza, Baankey is gone!

I'll throw all of you outta here...

Just the cleaning of this chandelier would be 500 bucks...

...and then the bulb etc...

It's antique so nothing less than 2000 rupees.

It's all glasswork...one thousand.

One thousand?

- Or nothing... - Tch...uh...wait...

Okay one thousand it is...

Go ahead quietly.

Careful...

I need a minute with her...

She's up in flames...

Let him in...

Umm... Begum... my this month's allowance is all spent...

I was wondering if I could get...

What about the rent from the tenants...