Little Mosque on the Prairie

- Oh! - Oh-h, my Sicilian!

Why don't you look where you're going, Mr...

shirt and pants?

I have the right of way here.

You have the right of nothing! You must yield to oncoming traffic.

I am the oncoming traffic.

You'd better get a refund on your walking lessons.

For your information, I am self-taught.

That's pretty big talk for a guy with sun-dried tomatoes on his loafers.

You are just lucky that my religion forbids violence.

Why don't you come here and say that?

Because my religion forbids violence.

Open your ears.

Oh...

Now look what you've done!

You've made me hit some innocent man's car!

That's my car.

I'm so sorry. Heh-heh.

Season 2 Episode 20 Marriage Minded

- Darling? Hello! - Oh, you're home!

- Darling? Hello! - Oh, you're home!

You're finally home!

- How was your trip? - Oh...

3 flights, 26 hours. It's a wonder I don't go to Dubai more often.

Ah, you poor thing. You look tired.

Whew! All Karim and I did was work, sleep, eat the occasional meal.

Excellent restaurants, mind you. World class.

Good. You deserve it.

See the occasional movie. The odd concert...

Well, you can't work all the time.

- And the parties! - Parties?

You wouldn't believe how many people Karim knows.

Everywhere we went, "Karim! Karim! Karim!"

- He's like the king of Dubai. - Oh, like Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum?

You left behind your rough guide.

So, did you bring anything home for the Queen of Mercy?

- Yes, of course, darling. Yes, yes, yes... - Oh, yay!

- Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes... - What's wrong?

Well, I'm picturing a store near the hotel.

I'm picturing seeing something in the window.

And can you picture giving it to your wife in the next couple of seconds?

And then he insulted my walking abilities. Me!

You've been walking for years.

Mister big-shot with his fancy car and his shirt and pants.

- Wow, clothes. A real blue-blood. - I find at a time like this,

- food helps to... - I will show him.

Baber never forgets a slight.

And that's why you're so much fun to be around!

Mm-hmm.

- Whoa, are you all right? - You must have hurt your back.

- Would you, uh, jump through fire? - Wall or ring?

- Ring. - Piece of cake.

Would you...

change your name to Gladys?

Oh, that's... that's a toughie.

- Salaam aleikum, guys. - Waleikum salaam.

Whatcha doing?

We're playing the "what would you do for a million dollars" game.

Oh, okay. I'd eat a tube of toothpaste.

That's more like the "what would you do for $5" game.

Okay, uh... two tubes of toothpaste.

- Dad! - Huh!

- Oh! My precious, my sweetness... - Welcome home!

They haven't seen each other for a while, so they're going to want to...

hug each other.

- J.J.! - Hey!

Hug you, too.

- Salaam aleikum. - Waleikum salaam.

- Amaar, do you mind if I steal J.J.? - Only if you bring him back.

Oh, so, I... I spoke to my father this morning.

Sounds like you guys had a lot of fun in Dubai.

It was just like old times.

But between you and me, your father's lost a lot of hair.

How are things going here?

It's going great. We...

we've begun excavation on the substation, and we are...

No, no, no, no. I mean between you and Rayyan.

Oh. Uh...

Well... we've been, uh... we've been spending a lot of time together.

- Uh... - Ah! I like that smile.

I think I like that smile.

Huh? Oh, no... time in public.

Spending a lot of time together in public.

Better. And?

Um...

- Can I be honest with you, Mr. Hamoudi? - Yes, yes, yes.

Come on, you're wasting precious answering time.

Okay. I... I like Rayyan very much.

In fact...

With your blessings, of course, I'd like to ask for her hand.

- Mr. Hamoudi? - Call me dad!

- There's just one thing. - Five grandchildren will suffice.

Two boys, two girls... the last one's your choice.

Wow. Uh, not that.

I can't officially pop the question until my dad calls you. You know,

father of the groom calls father of the bride.

- My dad's very old-fashioned. - Of course.

Obviously I wanted to talk to you first, man-to-man, but...

when he calls you tomorrow, can you play dumb?

You can't spell "contractor" without "actor".

I got it.

Afternoon, Amaar.

Hi.

- Everything okay? - Why do you ask?

Oh, nothing, just...

that was a new box of pencils this morning.

I like sharp pencils, okay?

If you figure out a way to make them sharp without getting them shorter,

- I'd like to hear about it. - I'll come back

No, listen, sorry, sorry. I'm...

- I'm a little tense. - Anything you want to talk about?

It's nothing, just...

have you ever realized you wanted something,

but you only realized you wanted it after you saw someone else had it?

- Is this about my Neil Sedaka CD? - Never mind.

Are you sure you're going to be able to pray?

Maybe you should give it a rest.

Because I love you, I'm going to pretend I did not hear that.

You don't have to kneel if you can't, Baber.

Why don't you just sit on one of the chairs?

The chair people?

Why don't I just wear a big sign that says "Decrepit Old Man"?

Wouldn't that hurt your back more?

You have to see a chiropractor.

No. The problem will self-correct.

These chiropractors...

do they require an appointment or can I just show up?

I have big news! Big, big, big news!

You found Sarah a better husband who does buy her gifts?

- I may have mentioned it to her. - In passing.

- All the way to Dubai and no presents. - How humiliating for her.

I'm sure they're talking about somebody else.

Anyway it's bigger than that. It's huge.

You found Sarah a more considerate husband who does buy her gifts.

You found Sarah a more considerate husband who does buy her gifts.

- I'll go. - Are you sitting down?

- You can see me. - Sorry, I'm just...

Very excited. Our daughter, Rayyan Hamoudi,

- Dr. Rayyan Hamoudi, our daughter... - Yes? Yes?

Is getting married!

- What? - Yes!

- Rayyan is getting married? - Yes!

- Yes! Yes! - Oh my god! Oh, oh...

I have to book a hall and... and call the caterers!

Oh, was it romantic? Oh, I bet it was romantic.

When did J.J. Ask her? How... how did he ask her?

He hasn't.

Not yet. But he's going to. It's just a formality.

Rayyan accepting her own proposal is just a formality?

Honey melon, you're missing the point.

He has my blessing!

Well, what about Rayyan's blessing?

Has it occurred to you she might say no?

Why? Has she said something?

No! But I just mean, there are other people involved here besides you and J.J.

My goodness. You're right.

This makes Karim and I practically brothers!

Yes! Yes! Ha-ha! Ha-ha! You're not jumping.

Do you see that curve?

That's what'll happen to you if you do not sit up straight.

Dad, everybody's spine is curvy.

And if everybody jumped off a bridge, would you do that too? Hmm?

All right. Mr. Sir... di... kwee.

- You! Shirt and pants! - You! Hat and...

- You! Shirt and pants! - You! Hat and...

beard!

Why are you here?

What did you do to the chiropractor? Step on him?

I am the chiropractor.

I will not be treated by this man! He's not the only chiropractor in town.

Actually, I am.

What did you do to the other chiropractors? Step on them? Let's go.

You must be wondering what this is all about.

Actually, I'm pretty used to this sort of thing.

- So, do you like J.J.? - Sure, I like him.

I mean, I haven't made any decisions yet...

Well, exactly. It's up to you.

It doesn't matter what J.J. and your father decide.

- Wait, did they talk? - Yes!

Now your father's dancing around like it's a done deal.

- Aww. Well, that's sort of cute. - No, it's not cute. It's medieval.

What, he's dancing around with a lute?

So you don't mind two men treating you like chattel?

- You're supposed to be a feminist. - I am a feminist.

But if J.J. wants to talk to dad before he talks to me, that's fine.

At the end of the day, the decision's still mine.

- So you're okay with this? - Yes!

- Isn't that the only thing that matters? - Yeah, I guess so.

No, it's not.

I'm the mother of the bride. This isn't about you, it's about me.

- Well, wasn't your wedding about you? - No, it was about my mum.

And this is about me and I'm getting ripped off.

Well, I'm sorry to be ruining my wedding for you.

Salaam alei... kum?

- Sarah. What's wrong? - Nothing. Everything's great!

I guess I just thought I'd be happier the day my daughter got engaged.

Engaged?

So, what are you having?

Burning, searing pain in my chest.

Got it. One spicy curry.