Video Game High School

Hey, what do you think about Italian?

For a first date?

Depends. We talkin' pizza or pasta?

It's so complicated.

Ted, my sword!

Hang on, dude, I got something cooler.

You should invite her on a study date.

Everyone loves to study.

Oh, man, no perps?

We were up all night farming this guy.

All night? All night?

Do you know what this means?

We're late for class!

Come on, Ki.

Coming!

Delivery.

Let's go.

Class is canceled?

Score! More time for questing. B.D., I'm looking at you.

Oh, sorry, dude. I gotta go get ready.

We're meeting the new FPS coach today.

Aw, man, there's always an FPS thing.

What about it, Ki?

Want to grind some mobs?

How can you think about grinding at a time like this?

We have no class.

I haven't learned anything in weeks.

I'm off to yell at Calhoun.

Whatever. I guess I'll nab some z's before drift class.

Psych. I don't get sleepy, b.D.

I get gamey.

I get game...

Oh, man, I'm tired.

Here. You could use the extra fuel.

Oh, yeah!

Brian! Thank god. Hold this.

What is all this stuff, Jenny?

Playbooks, kill reels,

anything to show the new coach 1 am awesome!

Still gunning for varsity, huh?

Oh, yeah, whatever gets me taped to that flagpole.

Wait, they tape you to a flagpole?

It's an old varsity tradition.

Plus I'm going to lose my mind

if 1 have to keep babysitting J.V.

Oh, not you. I mean, you're great.

It's just... them.

One... two-three!

Oh, yeah.

Stow it, nerds! The trial's on!

Well, another bad day in court for VGHS superstar the Law,

accused of first-degree hacking

by the anti-aimbot association.

Word has come in that former FPS coach Bob Jackson

has fled to Zanzibar,

refusing to testify on Law's behalf.

Hey. How y'all doin' out there?

Thanks for coming out. Really means a lot.

All right, let's just get through this.

Um... in light of these super bogus cheating allegations,

and out of respect to VGHS,

the last place in the world that truly believes in me,

my legal team and I...

Feel it's in my best interest

to punch through my prepared statement,

fire my legal team,

and swear vengeance on the loser

who dared frame the Law!

You"re going down, buddy, just like this podium!

No! 1 never cheat and I never lose!

Your boasts fuel me!

I'm all gassed up and ready to ride!

Whoo!

I can't believe I dated that guy.

Yeah. What...?

Um...

So, I was gonna grab some pizza and pasta

with Ted and Ki.

At romero's tonight, but...

They kind of want to just stay inside and hang out.

Do you want to come?

Okay.

Wha... really?

Mm-hmm.

Awesome.

1-1 was thinking around seven.

Oh, are they allergic to anything, because I could make

my seven-nut shellfish onion dip.

Oh, no.

Uh, they"re not coming.

Um, it was just gonna be the two of us.

Grab some Italian food and maybe catch a movie.

Just... you know, hang out.

Doesn't really sound like hanging out, Brian.

Sounds like you're asking me on a...

What is that called?

You know, when you like someone

and you're asking them on... what?

A date.

Yes.

I am asking you on a date, Jenny.

Please come to my date.

Okay.

Thirty seconds late, Jenny. Off to a bad start.

Mom?

Coach Matrix. Fall in.

Asleep at the wheel, Theodore?

Sorry, d.K. Long night.

Ah. No doubt toiling over the book report

you were about to give me.

The one that's due today.

Book...

Report?

Aw, shucks, I left it in my room.

Can I just get it to you Monday?

You didn't do it, did you?

No way.

I super did it. I swear.

If you speak the truth,

then deliver unto me at the FPS tourney the report.

You want it by tomorrow?

I wanted it by today.

We have an FPS team in shambles,

with sponsors dropping like flies,

and you bring on a wild card like Mary Matrix?

For the sake of your job, Calhoun,

I hope you made the right choice.

Not the right choice; The only choice.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have a school to run.

What the crap do you two want?

Tell Freddie to give me homework.

We haven't had an assignment in weeks.

You want homework? Didn't you come here to play video games?

Actually, I came here to learn about gamers:

What makes them tick, and...

TL;DR, Ki. Nobody cares.

Freddie, come on. You know the rules.

I know I rule.

Just give her homework each week.

This is a school, goddamn it.

Ugh, fine, fine.

Uh, Ki, your homework for every week.

Forever

is to do no homework.

Nice try, Freddie, but I don't think that counts.

- That counts. - What?

In your face!

Just breathe, Ki.

Keep it together.

Dean Calhoun, I respectively request.

To be withdrawn from Freddie's class.

Yeah, no. No, you don't get to do that.

You don't get to withdraw from class,

you have to get kicked out by the teacher.

And that ain't never gonna happen, you ugly narc!

But... okay, but that doesn't make any sense.

There's got to be a loophole or something.

Why don't you go look for that loophole elsewhere?

If you two don't mind, I have a school to run.

Hm!

That's what "m talking about."

I knew I could count on you, my man.

Right there. Laying it down, large and in charge.

Gimme the bones.

Pound it. Right here.

Pound me. Knuckle sandwich.

So you lost your star player. Big whoop.

You know what's better than a star player?

- Having a star team. - No. A star coach. That's me.

As head coach of the Denver commandoes,

I have never lost a pro championship,

and I'm sure as hell not going to start

at the high school level.

I do not like wasting time.

Speaking of which, J.V., I can't bother with you,

so you just do whatever it is that you do.

Varsity, let's talk business.

This is the new playbook.

Banged it out last night. Memorize it by game time.

Memorize a million moves by Monday morning?

Ms. Matrix, that's marble madness!

You're cut from the team, alliterator.

Anyone else?

Well, it was fun while it lasted.

Goodbye, everybody.

So I'll see the rest of you at the game.

Dismissed.

Move it.

So your mom's the new coach.

That's, uh, cool, right?

I'll see you at seven, Brian.

Okay, yeah. See you at my place.

My place...?

Trying to butter up the new coach?

Yeah, so I can handle our annual phone call, but, um,

is there a reason why you're here?

Yeah, Calhoun called in a favor, and I thought, why not?

I'll stop my daughter from screwing up her career.

Okay. You're here. Whatever. Yay.

About that spot on varsity, I want it.