Dear X Who Doesn't Love Me (나를 사랑하지 않는 X에게)

Please be anything.

I don't need that anymore.

Please.

Dad?

Hey.

What are you doing at this hour?

What were you doing in there?

I had to do something.

Did you cause any trouble?

Why do you think I caused trouble?

If not,

are you dropping out of college?

This is why...

I don't want to come home.

Well...

Never mind.

It's late. You should stay for tonight.

There are fruits in the fridge. Help yourself.

What was that sound?

Dad.

I saw something in your library.

What?

Did you touch anything?

My goodness.

Why did that suddenly break?

Oh, my.

At least no one got hurt.

How did this happen?

Geez.

Oh, dear.

I didn't know it was here.

Dad.

- What's that notebook? - What?

What is that notebook?

What's wrong with you? What about it?

Last time I was here,

I took that notebook and used it...

Yesterday...

Dad. I'm in trouble. I ruined everything again.

Can you get rid of that? Please?

Hee Soo.

Calm down.

Oh, gosh.

This was...

the journal your mom kept...

when she was pregnant and when she raised you.

Your mom used it before you were born...

and until she died.

What?

Here.

Take a look.

December 3, 2001.

I met my baby for the first time.

I can't feel anything yet,

but I know we're connected.

I wonder how the baby looks.

Would the baby look like me...

or my husband?

I just want the baby to be born healthy.

Whatever the baby looks like, I'm ready to love the baby.

Here.

And the diaper...

What's wrong?

Listen.

She's saying hello.

You're a daddy now.

We're getting ready to greet her.

I'm nervous and excited.

No way.

This notebook...

was Mom's?

Yes.

And this too.

I want to be a good parent.

We'll probably have a fight as she grows up.

Yet,

we'll smile again...

and go to bed looking at each other's faces.

I want her to know how to love herself.

Hee Soo.

That's...

all Mommy wants.

No matter what they say,

you should become a person...

who cares about herself...

and cherishes herself the most.

Dad.

Do you blame me?

What?

Mom died because of me.

What kind of nonsense is that? Why is it your fault?

Her condition got worse...

while she was giving birth to me.

You said that in the hospital.

Only if I hadn't been born.

Hee Soo.

What...

What on earth are you talking about?

I heard everything.

You said that to Grandma...

when I almost got you killed.

Sometimes I think...

if I hadn't been born,

you and Mom would've lived happily ever after.

Without you,

I wouldn't have been able to carry on.

Ever since she was born,

it's been a series of misfortunes.

She shouldn't have gotten pregnant so early.

If Hee Soo...

hadn't been born,

I...

would've been dead already.

I could carry on...

all thanks to her.

So...

don't blame...

my only daughter.

That was...

just an accident, Hee Soo.

Mom didn't die because of you.

You didn't almost get me killed.

It was...

just...

a coincidence.

If...

that's what you thought until now,

I'm really sorry.

- Dad. - I...

I was...

afraid something might happen to you.

I had to...

take care of you without Mom,

so I was always impatient.

I...

should've...

treated you with warmth.

Hee Soo.

I'm sorry.

(Hee Soo. Do you know what your name means?)

Hee Soo.

Do you know what your name means?

Hee for shine and Soo for protect.

Shine bright on your own,

and protect yourself.

We're...

raising you with love...

as we keep this record.

One day,

you will keep a record of your life on your own.

You'll shine so bright.

Until now,

I thought no one loved me.

But the only person who didn't love me...

was myself.

Dad.

Tell me more about Mom. I want to hear it.

Okay.

I must love myself first...

in order to love someone.

Where are you?

What happened?

I don't see hallucinations. My fever is suddenly gone.

Yes.

I think...

Hee Soo wrote the last page.

What's going to happen now?

Because of me...

It's okay.

Don't cry.

- What? - You didn't do anything wrong.

I'm glad you're better now.

I mean it.

- Hee Soo. - Si Ho.

What about Se Jin? Is she okay now?

Yes. She said she's better now.