Soldier of Fortune (Il soldato di ventura)

I'll sing you the story of my four soldiers.

Oh, Ettore!

This war gives us more hunger than glory.

Oh, Ettore!

Mercenaries of France or Spain because...

Oh, Ettore!

...With them we eat. Besides, Italy doesn't exist.

Oh, Ettore!

Alas! It doesn't exist.

It's still in pieces, I don't know why.

March on, march on, march on.

We're going to Barletta to face a challenge.

You look for warriors and find friars and gamblers.

You go around rummaging like a madman, and find a...

Everything is going badly. You follow a live man and find a dead one

or a follower of Allah with seven wives and a cannon.

You have to enlist thieves, losers and holy men,

and then perform miracles while you already risk being booed

because if we're not thirteen, we can't challenge the French.

I cry out and insist. Come with me.

Oh, Ettore!

But everyone answers with a gesture. "Take that!"

Oh, Ettore!

A woman follows me, but I run away because...

Oh, Ettore!

Glory is waiting for me, and it is jealous.

Oh, Ettore!

Honor, honor, honor,

with a helmet and spear I'll go off to save.

I will go, but

my stomach is empty, while my heart is not.

We'll eat something. You'll see.

If I don't eat, I'll faint.

Wait!

What is it? A quail, a mockingbird or a figpecker.

Figpecker with sage is very tasty!

- This time I centered it! - Yeah, right on my head.

It was a pine cone, not a figpecker!

I still haven't digested yesterday's pine cones!

- One pine nut each. - So much food!

Chew slowly. You won't get an indigestion and it'll last longer.

Why was it necessary to advance so far south?

We've been walking six days in the kingdom of Naples.

- Darn it! - These are depressed areas.

There are few wars and last little. A couple of months, if all goes well.

They are losers' wars, quick wars.

If I think of the wars up north... All that food at Fornovo! Tell him!

You Neapolitans don't like being away from home.

As soon as they smell the barn, they start running!

Take it easy. I'm the only Neapolitan here. Ettore is from Capua.

- Is Capua in Ireland? - It's a province. He's provincial!

But when we crossed the Garigliano, you both cried.

Are there any pine nuts left for tonight?

- Bracalone! - Here I am.

- Where were we? - Right away.

"When they arrived in Gaeta, the attack was over."

"So the army, headed by the best Italian soldier of fortune..."

Which is you! "...Trespassed into Campania."

"They were five and went forward, pushed by adventure, by glory..."

And by hunger!

Write! Bracalone, write!

On the fourth day, they saw a war near Barletta.

- What war? - Isn't that a war?

Yes, it's a war. It must have broken out now.

Maybe I'm so hungry I can't see, but it wasn't there this morning.

A fresh war!

They saw the rich French army attack the exhausted Spanish army.

Their leader knew immediately which side to be on.

That's for sure! Finally we can eat at the French camp!

Idiot! He is saying to go to the Spanish side.

No! You are the leader but we're tired of always fighting on the weaker side.

Graiano, what's so challenging about fighting on the stronger side?

You have fun, but we like winning too!

For once, let us fight a comfortable war.

- You want a comfortable war, too? - I don't refuse comfort.

Then write... write!

To please four army companions,

four miserable losers...

Meaning you. Write!

...He chose the French against his will.

- How are things going? - They're negotiating the price.

These French are well dressed!

Did you see the armor and helmets? They are all custom made.

- It's a bit tight at the jaw. - Jesus! Does it have a horn?

This horse is a beautiful breed! Do you feed it?

Do you give it wine? Huh? Yes?

Holy Mary! What are you doing to me?

- Gallop, Bracalone! - Show your shanks!

Hey, you! Come remove the mud from under my feet.

- Me? - You have some objection?

Of course not!

- Did you wash your hands, farmer? - Yes, yes.

Clean well.

Monsieur, let me drink, too.

For beggars like you, there's the ditch water!

Bracalone!

- You're not offended? - Why should I be? I'm a beggar!

Ditch water is good for the stomach, right?

Will you do me the favor of cleaning my friend's boots?

In fact!

- He's nice. - Now write, Bracalone.

- Excuse me... - And that is how

their swords were now at the service of the Spaniards.

How can we get in? The French army can't make it.

- How can we? - Don't be a philosopher! Go on!

Hey, you!

Where is the passage to enter Barletta?

Bracalone, peek out and see if they're still pulling.

- Why don't you? - I have to look ahead!

Everything alright out there?

Yes, everything is quiet.

- What happened? - They threw a urinal!

Let me go back!

Boiling oil!

Boiling oil! My gosh!

- It's not boiling. It's lukewarm. - It's pee. How disgusting!

These Spaniards are scums!

- Boiling oil is better! - Sure. It pours on my head!

They're Italian. Stop!

We'll make French meatballs out of them!

Let's see who is tougher!

I am tougher!

Hey! Let go!

This tower is the weakest point of the wall. Let's go.

Back up, Italians!

Ettore, he's taking it out on me! I won't fight!

I am a scribe. Ettore!

Take your hands off of Bracalone! Understand?

May I?

Please...

What should we do to get through?

Treason! The Italians are fighting with the Spaniards!

Up the ladder. Hurry!

- Come with me. Come on! - Wait. Don't leave me.

He must be the commander. I'll ask him how much he'll offer us.

No, wait. Things are looking badly. Let's go.

Hey, we're friends. Leave him to me!

This way, monsieur!

- Who is he? - A man with "cojones"!

Go! Get down! Get down! It's closed!

Attention! The ram is coming.

When I say three, open the door!

One! Two!

- Three! - Go!

Romanello! Fanfulla! Get five horses

and ropes with hooks!

Excuse me... Who are we fighting against?

That's it, Ettore! Go on!

Show them how we fight. Death to the French!

Make them run! Bravo!

- Victory! Victory! - Bravo!

Silence!

Now that the moment of biggest danger is over,

we thank who wanted to give us so much unhoped help.

We did it with pleasure, excellency!

We thank you, Lord.

Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be Thy name...

The Spanish backup is marching and will soon arrive.

We'll have to resist and sacrifice a bit more.

Here is your money.

It's a lot, but it won't be easy to spend.

- Why? Is it fake? - It's a city besieged for months.

There isn't much left to buy.

People are hungry. You'll have to make do.

You always take us to the right side, huh?

As you see, I share the privations of the whole city.

It is my daily meal. A glass of milk and an egg.

It's something, at least!

You will live here below, in the Spanish area.

Carellario will accompany you. He's my servant.

He is a good boy. Italian like you.

Milk and eggs! No wonder he looks sick! Spanish cuisine is heavy.

I'd like a paella Valencia style!

- I nominate you treasurer, Bracalone. - Thank you.

Let's not spend all this money.

Let's have a Puglia dinner in a local tavern.

The treasurer is already being thrifty.

- When are we eating? - Maybe the day after tomorrow.

They promised me some frog heads and a garlic clove.

- Who are they? - Those who reserved.

The captain wasn't kidding, huh?

Close by there is an old man who has a piece of hard bread.

- Good! Where is he? - But he isn't selling it.

He'll leave it as inheritance to his children.

Holy Mary, you take care of it.

Our Father, who art in Heaven, hallowed be Thy name.

Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses

as we forgive those who trespass against us.

And lead us not into temptation and deliver us from evil.

Now he's even eating a second course!

Jesus, Joseph, Saint Ann and Mary, send the bread to my home.

Jesus, how time flies!

It would be a great honor for me if you came to my home.

Sometimes we find something.

It is very humid here and they come out at night.

- Who? - Be quiet!

- Here's one! - Yes. I saw one, too!

They're many, and climb up in a row. Hold still!

- They go so slowly! - They are snails!