A Teacher

I never get to see you like this.

‐ Like what?

‐ Like... yourself.

Come on.

What? ‐ Show me around.

Okay. ‐ Where we at, Claire?

Okay, uh...

Follow me for the grand tour,

but first, we gotta get you a costume.

‐ Oh, thank you, ma'am.

‐ There you go.

Okay.

Here we have a deer.

Elk. ‐ Elk?

That's an elk. ‐ Okay, that's an elk.

Oh, well, there's a deer to remind us we're in Texas.

‐ Don't mess with Texas.

‐ Um, all right, let's go check out the backyard.

‐ Never want to leave.

‐ Happy birthday.

‐ Thanks.

‐ Delete that video.

‐

Mm.

Can you believe I found this place?

‐ When'd you book it?

‐ Mm, couple weeks ago.

‐ A couple weeks ago?

‐ Yeah.

‐ How'd you know when my birthday was?

‐ 'Cause I'm a mind‐reader.

'Cause you told me.

‐ Did I tell you? ‐ Yeah.

‐ Oh.

So, here's to...

the most talented, smartest, kindest,

most handsome guy I ever met.

‐ Please keep going.

‐ Uh, not to mention the 1375 you got on your SATs.

‐ Thanks to you. ‐ I'm so proud of you.

‐ How'd you keep this‐‐ this whole cooking thing

a secret from me for so long?

‐ I don't know, it's easy.

You know, I also got a lot of practice

cooking with my brothers.

‐ I wish I ate like this when I was a kid.

‐ What, spaghetti and sauce?

‐ No, a homecooked meal.

My dad basically took us to McDonald's

every night after my mom died.

Oh, my mom was the best cook too.

Everything she made was from scratch.

‐ You were, like, what, um, nine when she died?

‐ Yeah, about that.

My mom was so cool.

She was the life of every party.

We used to have these huge barbecues,

and she'd have, like, buckets of gin and tonics.

The whole neighborhood would come by.

The house just felt...

I don't know, it felt, like, alive.

And then she got sick.

And then she... got sick again.

Cancer's just the worst.

And then she died.

And, um...

Nate joined the military, and he shipped off,

and then my dad, he started drinking, and...

And I was, like, alone in this...

Um...

incredibly quiet house.

I don't know, sorry, I don't know why I'm getting upset.

‐ No. It's fine.

I want to hear.

‐ Anyway, I tried for a really long time

to be perfect, you know?

It was, like, my rebellion, to be the opposite of my dad.

It didn't work.

I was just this, like, walking reminder

of what he lost.

You ever think about reaching out to your dad?

‐

‐ Are you curious about him?

‐ Honestly?

No.

I mean, I never knew him, so, really, what's to miss?

‐ You are the best older brother.

And a really good man.

‐ Hi.

‐ Hey.

Snug in.

‐ Snug in. ‐ Snug in.

‐ I like that. ‐ Yeah. Come here.

I like the way you smell in the morning.

‐ I like seeing you in the morning.

You feel any older?

‐

Years older.

‐ I'm sorry, I gotta take this.

Hey, honey.

Yeah, the speakers are just okay,

but I think it's still worthwhile.

How long did you guys end up practicing for?

Um, yeah, I wouldn't...

Yeah, it's at 4:00, right?

I wouldn't miss your first gig.

Listen, I actually have a curriculum seminar

that I gotta hit, so I should‐‐ I should go.

Kay. Bye, I love you.

Mmm. Coffee.

Sorry about that.

‐ It's fine.

‐ Hey.

What‐‐ come on.

You know I didn't have a choice.

‐ It's fine. Okay?

‐ Stop.

‐ Take your underwear off.

‐ What?

‐ Take your underwear off.

‐

I'm scared to smoke pot.

‐ You're scared?

‐ Don't laugh at me. ‐ I'm sorry.

Sorry, I just‐‐

I didn't know people like you still existed, to be honest.

‐ I know, it's so pathetic, right?

‐ Yeah. Kind of pathetic. ‐

Okay, well, technically, I did sort of get stoned

when I was, like, 20.

But I thought everybody hated me,

and then I peed myself.

Mm.

‐ I didn't, for the record.

‐ In that case, I'm gonna shotgun you.

Do you know what that is? No.

‐ Okay, I'm gonna take a little in,

and then I'm gonna blow it to you.

‐ Like in my mouth? ‐ Yeah.

‐ Like we're kissing?

‐ Like that, yeah. Oh, cool.

‐ Okay, ready? CLAIRE: Uh‐huh.

‐ So?

‐ I'm a stoner now.

‐ Mission accomplished.

Give me another shotgun.

All right, come here.

I'm just wondering...

‐ What were you like in high school?

‐ So boring.

‐ What? ‐ Yeah.

‐ So you're telling me that you didn't have

any boyfriends or anything.

‐ No, I was a virgin until I met Matt

in, uh, senior year of college.

‐ What the fuck?

No shit.

‐ I know, it's so embarrassing.

‐ Yeah. ‐ Yeah.

Can you pass me those?

‐ Yeah, yeah. Here.

‐ Yeah, so...

it was self‐imposed.

Like, I just wanted rules.

I needed rules.

So no drinking, no boys.

Like, I wouldn't even have a‐a beer.

I was such a prude.

Okay, how long were you and Alison together?

‐ Oh, my God. ‐ What? Tell me.

‐ I‐‐ like, um...

six months.

‐ Oh, so, okay.

That's, like, serious, then.

Did you guys say "I love you"?

‐ I don't know. ‐ What? You did!

‐ No. ‐ Oh, my gosh.

Oh.

‐ I was 16, you know?

What did I know?

‐ Oh, the girls at UT are gonna be all over you.

‐ ‐ They are.

You have your whole life ahead of you.

You're gonna have so much fun. ‐ Hmm.

‐ You are, and you're gonna, like...

have so much sex with so many people.

‐

‐ Hey, you want to go into town?

We can go to a bar or something.

‐ I don't have an ID.

‐ Oh, right, no.

No, yeah, let's just stay here.