Bolan's Shoes

Oh, there's nothing like

a big band finish, is there?

Here's a lovely letter.

Bob from Liverpool writes in, requesting a record be played

for wife and number-one Marc Bolan-fan, Sally,

to celebrate their first wedding anniversary.

They've been married a whopping year.

Now according to Bob, a few years ago,

he was working in a record shop in London.

And one day, none other than Marc Bolan walked in.

A couple of dropped jaws later, cheeky Bob complimented

the diminutive rockstar on the T-shirt he was wearing.

Quick as a flash, Mr. Bolan whipped off his T-shirt,

handed it to Bob, telling him to enjoy it.

And exited the shop bare-chested with only his Afghan coat

for comfort.

What a cracking story.

Oh, we love you, Marc.

Happy anniversary, Bob and Sally.

And as requested, here's T. Rex

with their latest release, Calling All Destroyers.

Get off him! Get off him!

-He's a dickhead! -You're the dickhead!

-I'm warning you! -Fuck off!

What?

What have you been up to, Simmons?

-He's just busted our kid! -Aw, sit down.

What's wrong with you all?

Like a bunch of wild bloody animals.

And why is it always you, Simmons?

Oh, that's enough.

Tracy, come and get him cleaned up, will ya?

Turn that bloody thing off!

I can't hear myself think!

Sorry, Vicar.

Now I'm telling yous all,

if the vicar goes back and tells Mr. Ratton

that there's been fighting, yous'll never be let out again.

So wise up the lot of yas.

And you stay there.

Now, we get inside,

you go straight to your seats,

and you stay there until the interval.

You don't have an interval at a rock concert.

You're a clever one, aren't ya?

Right, who needs a whaz?

- Me. - Yeah, might've thought.

All right, so pack up all your stuff and let's get it on.

All right, you're laughing now.

You're laughing now.

In years to come, you'll be thanking me.

Saying I was there, I witnessed the greatest ever

rock and roll superstar that ever lived.

-You okay? -Crossingham, he's all mouth, no trousers.

Always picking on our kids. Did you see it?

Got him right in the fucking nose.

Drew, tell me if they do anything else?

Got that?

Here.

-Your dress is dead pretty. -Thanks.

They were being horrible to your brother.

They were being a pair of knobs.

Ooh!

We want Marc! We want Marc! We want Marc!

Yes, Vicar?

I'm a friend of Mr. Hanson.

Yes, he instructed us to come straight backstage

-after the show. -Of course.

-I'll put a call out now. -Thank you.

I wouldn't have put you down as a Bolan fan, Vicar.

Still, suppose it takes all sorts, eh?

-Yes? -Did you enjoy that?

- Yes. - Who was your fave?

-Marc? -Yeah, the singer, yeah?

Yous wait here, okay?

Their man's quite steady, look.

Shh.

How do you do, Father, I'm Tony.

Tony, how do you do?

Nice to finally put a face with all those phone calls.

Indeed it is. And thank you very much.

That was delightful.

-Pleasure. -Tony, this is Simon.

-How do you do? -Howdy.

Simon is the children's home supervisor.

Oh, excellent.

Looks like you got your work cut out for you, huh?

Okay, kids, are you ready for this?

-It's Marc. -You ready?

- Yeah. - -No, no, I can't hear you, are you ready?

- Yes. -Okay, let me walk you through now.

Follow me, everyone, come on, come on.

Deh, deh, deh, deh, deh!

What? What?

Shut up!

Watching yous in the back.

-Little Getz. - It's all fucking Getz.

Don't let your daddy hear you say that.

Don't fucking care.

All right, just stop at the chippy on the way back, driver.

Do it, or we'll do you.

Yeah, and if you don't, we'll tell Simon you stole these.

-Didn't. -Yes, you did.

And we'll also tell him that you showed your dick to us.

Do it.

What the?

Bloody thing's on fire!

Watch out!

Hiya.

Sales rep of the week, third week in a row, thank you very much.

Admiral Griffiths, you can go fuck yourself.

-It's coming on lovely. -Do you think?

I'm a little bit worried about his eye?

Well, as your best mate, it's good.

For a cake.

So what time are we gathering later?

Uh, sunset.

Right, and what time is that, exactly?

10-ish.

All set for our trip tomorrow?

-I can't wait. -Okay, good.

Well, I was thinking that maybe we could set off

at like six, promptly.

-How do you feel about that? -Yeah. Yeah, that's fine.

God, that's early, isn't it?

Sorted, London tomorrow,

-sunset tonight. -Sunset-ish.

[sighs

Hi!

Oh, wow, it looks amazing.

-Penny's work. -Oh, and look at the cake.

Ah, so beautiful.

Matt would've loved it here.

Special.

Really special.

-This is the shoe. -It is, yes.

And who has the other one?

-Sorry? -Who has the other one?

Oh, sorry, you weren't here, were you,

for last year's birthday celebrations?

My father knew, well, sort of knew Marc's manager.

And Marc very kindly donated a pair of shoes

to the local children's home

where my father was residential chaplain.

-Such a sweet thing to do. -Yes, it really was.

They insisted that I take one of the shoes.

Oh, look, it's getting close.

Ready?

Oh.

Can birds go cross-eyed?

Are you gonna say something?

Who's going first?

God speed, Marc.

Oh, God.

Oh, hello.

-Hi. -Oh,

you've been doing your, uh--

-how was it? -Good.

Very good.

Apart from one of the doves dropped dead.

-Stefan thinks heart attack. -Oh, dear.

We buried it under a tree with some twigs, wild flowers.

-It was lovely. -Hmm, that's good.

Right, now I'm off for Marc's big birthday tomorrow.

We leave at 6:00 AM.

Marc?

Oh, Marc, yes, of course.

Oh, that's tomorrow, is it?

Geraint, you haven't forgotten, have you?

It's been in the diary for months.

-But it's not a problem, is it? -No, no, no, no.

Not at all, no.

You go on now, you go and do your thing and enjoy yourself.

Mr. Bolan comes with the marriage.

Take care.

Mr. Callaman, the patient's not responding.

Out cold.

Do you know, Steffan, driving an RV really suits you.

Thanks.

And thank you clearly for trusting us.

Oh.

It's really happening.

Yeah, unbelievable.

Never thought we'd get our asses in gear.

Isn't it nice to get off the island?

- Alcatraz. - Oh, stop.

You know, I love it there.

Yeah, but what?

-But nothing. -No something.