The Carrie Diaries

Before there was sex...

before there was the city, there was just me,

Carrie... Carrie Bradshaw from Castlebury, Connecticut.

Hey! Martin is a good friend of my ex Eric.

So you haven't heard? Eric is dying of AIDS.

Oh, my God.

I knew this was gonna be hard, coming out.

So what are you saying? I can't do this.

I called my dad this morning.

We both agreed that our relationship

probably works better long-distance.

Am I in the right place?

I just fixed up the place a little bit,

put my own stamp on it.

- You joined the army?! - You have to help me out of this.

I'm going to come up with a plan.

I'm going to find your file and rip it up myself.

Just what the hell do you think you're doing?

Do you wanna take our names? Just yours. And your number?

I think there's a market out there

that hasn't been tapped into.

Like shoes, clothes, all based on skate culture.

I'm really excited about this, Carrie.

Well, then that sounds uh, sick.

The Carrie Diaries 02x11 Hungry Like A Wolf Originally Aired January 17, 2014

I love this park.

Where else do break dancers, drug dealers, and dog walkers

find so much common ground?

Let's not forget N.Y.U. students.

Mm, no. Let's forget.

It's actually diabolical that colleges send out

their acceptance or rejection letters

during spring break.

There's just... not enough distractions.

You don't need a distraction. You're getting into N.Y.U.

Or not.

Hmm, lucky for us, it looks like

there's a distraction right at our feet.

What do you think it is? Art installation?

Skateboarders?

Maybe that kung fu stand-up comedy guy?

Whatever it is, I'm sure it'll get my mind off

this dog-eat-dog world of college admissions.

Oh.

Is that a...

Hawk?

Is it eating a...

A pigeon? Yeah.

I'm not sure whether to throw up or take a picture.

It was totally the last thing you'd expect to see

in the middle of a chic,

sophisticated city like New York.

An animal eating another animal. And... and two birds, no less.

Hmm.

It's bird-eat-bird out there.

Well, I don't know if you noticed,

Carrie, but that kind of thing

happens in they all the time.

It's kind of a savage place.

Dad, it's not like it's the 1970s anymore.

They caught son of Sam.

Or did they?

I'm just saying.

I'm just saying you kinda have to develop

a killer instinct to survive in Manhattan.

I mean, here, I'm a pretty nice guy.

But in the city, especially before I go into a negotiation,

I have to put on a different face.

I am a lean, mean killing machine.

Seriously, dad?

No one would ever buy that.

What? That I'm a nice guy?

That you're a killing machine.

Well, I am.

The mail's here.

It's from N.Y.U., and it's big.

Big is good.

Or maybe it's a really long rejection letter.

Everyone knows whatthick.

Aah! I got in!

Oh! That's great! Oh!

That's so good.

I guess now you're gonna have to develop

that Manhattan killer instinct after all.

Well, maybe it's that way at the law firm,

but I'm going into the writing program.

In the creative fields,

we're a lot more supportive of each other.

I'm gonna tear Bennet's body limb from limb.

Where the bloody hell is he?

This is the fifth day in a row he's blown off work.

Maybe he's sick?

He left a message saying

that he was out late interviewing someone.

Oh, bollocks! Bennet was out late clubbing,

which I'd understand if he was getting good material.

But he's not.

He has gone through a lot. He and Walt broke up,

and he found out his ex-boyfriend has AIDS.

I guess he's just blowing off a little bit of steam.

Look, I feel for Bennet. I really do.

I mean, I go to three funerals a month these days.

Which is why I gave him some time off to deal,

but it's been weeks.

And I'm starting to feel taken advantage of.

So, if you see Bennet,

tell him I want his 500 words

on parachute pants by end of day,

or he is out on his ass.

He will do it. I promise.

Bennet, it's Carrie, again. Larissa is expecting

the parachute pants piece on her desk by 6:00.

So, call me.

What you doin'?

Working.

Or trying to.

More like trying to get Bennet to do his work.

Didn't show up again?

No, and I can't reach him. I'm starting to worry.

Well, you might have to worry about Bennet,

but you don't have to worry about me anymore.

I got a new job.

That's great. What are you doing?

Looking for this little guy.

How exactly is looking for a parakeet a job?

It pays 500 bucks. Tax-free.

You actually think you're gonna find that bird?

I've got a good eye, and I'm quick on my feet.

I used to catch the flamingos that ran away

from my Uncle's farm in Florida.

Your Uncle raised flamingos?

And made crank.

Anyway, can I use your copy machine or what?

Yeah, sure.

But how are you gonna get the reward

if you just make more flyers?

Oh, no, I'm making new flyers with my name and number on 'em

and lowering the reward to $50.

If someone else finds him, they'll get... something.

It's win-win for everyone.

Except I win an eensey bit more.

I seriously doubt that tiny bird

is going to survive long on the streets of New York.

I mean, I saw a hawk eating a pigeon

in Washington Square Park.

And a pigeon is easily ten times the size of your bird.

All the more reason I could use a little help.

So what do you say?

That $50 could be yours.

Mm, I'm gonna have to pass.

I have my own bird to save... Bennet.

And a much better chance of success.

Suit yourself, but it doesn't sound like

your bird's gonna do his work anytime soon.

Oh.

Oh...

Maybe I can do it for him.

While I was helping out a friend,

one of my other friends was looking for advice.

So, I have to figure this out ASAP,

since Pete is coming into town

for three days of spring break...

Which one should I go with? The white or the black?

'Cause white says, "sexy, but innocent""

and black says, "hot... Maybe a little dangerous""

ooh, or... Should I go with the red?

What do you think it says? "Spicy mama"?

Um, it's hard to pick.

They all say such different things.

I think they all say the same thing...

Slutty and needy.

Why does it seem like she is always around these days?

Maggie, Donna's an expert on all things male,

and right now you could use all the help you can get.

What do you mean, I can use all the help I can get?

Because you have terrible instincts when it comes to sex.

Look, she's harsh, but she's telling the truth.

You do tend to confuse sex and love.

We just wanna help you with Pete.

He just seems so great and...

And we don't want you to screw it up with him, too.

I mean, I don't care either way, really.

But I'm guessing military man might have some hot friends.

And I will expect one in return for the...

words of wisdom I dole out.

So what should I do?

Wear ugly underwear like granny panties

and don't shave your legs.

What's that gonna do other than gross him out?

It's not for him. It's for you.

It'll force you to keep your pants on.

So he won't see your stubbly legs

or your control top.

Or your period underwear.

Mouse, let me handle this.

Right, right, of course.

You need to create a situation where you won't just

hop into bed with him the minute he gets here.

But I'm... attracted to him. I wanna have sex with him.

Except it kind of feels like after you have sex with a guy...