Love Sick Love

There are so many things in life that I have control over.

What music I listen to.

How fast I drive.

What dress I wear.

I can walk down the street and control who I choose to look at,

who I find attractive, or who I talk to.

But what can't be controlled is love.

Who I fall in love with, who falls in love with me...

Or if anyone falls in love with me.

Every person that I pass on the street could be the one,

the one that will sweep me off my feet.

And every person that passes

takes with them a missed opportunity,

and the happiness that only love brings.

The only true happiness is found in something

that I can't control.

Love.

The irony kind of pisses me off.

Not bad.

Not great...

But not bad.

That's better.

However, that all changed when I met the man of my dreams..

Norman.

It's simply not possible,

There's not a commercial space in this city

that's over twenty years old that doesn't have

some sort of code violation.

Tell the inspector we'll pay cash.

That's called bribery.

Is that a felony or just a simple misdemeanor?

Every code in the city is cash driven!

Tell him to put it in escrow or we're moving on.

Mr. Molino has made it perfectly clear he's not in love

with the asking until he gets an independent inspection.

He wants to shave thirty percent off.

Tell him we'll cut him in on the Ross-Feinman deal

and then we'll see what he has to say

about the codes.

How are you in on Ross-Feinman?

Wants to know what time you're picking her up for dinner.

And don't say you forgot.

I confirmed your reservations with you yesterday.

I didn't forget about Dori, I forgot about Cara.

I'm supposed to go to some bullshit art opening

with her tonight.

Cara's still in the picture?

Yeah. It's complicated.

Can you tell Dori, I'm in a meeting-

That only works so many times.

And how many times have I used it?

'So many.' She's on line three.

I'm sorry about this gentlemen.

I've got to take this call.

Hello?

Are you ready for tonight?

Dori. Hi.

Uh, oh. Something's amiss.

I can tell by your voice.

There's nothing going on.

You're flaking on me again.

No, no, no... Of course not.

Well, yeah. I sort of am.

There's a big deal closing and I'm not sure

what time I'm getting outta here.

How about we just do a mellow dinner?

Get take out.

And if you need to take a call, then fine,

you need to take a call.

It'd be nice to see you, that's all.

I really want to see you too.

Really?

Of course.

Of course. Listen, I have to go.

Tell you what. I officially owe you one.

I'll call you in a few days

and we can get together then, alright?

Okay.

Okay. See you soon.

It's a little dicey around four-thirty, you know?

You figure out the whole Dori thing?

What? What?

How long have you been with her?

Two months?

First of all, I am not with anyone.

However, Dori and I have been passing time

for the last four weeks.

Oh that's nice.

And how long have you been 'passing time' with Cara?

Cara and I broke up eons ago.

Oh, right, I forgot.

You're just screwing Cara to her to help her get over you?

Why are you busting my balls?

Norman...

You have to start thinking like a big boy.

Look... Dori's happy.

Cara's happy. I'm happy.

You're the only one that's not happy.

Come on... Feel 'the happy', man.

I'm just saying...

Dori, hi.

Another complication.

I'm sorry for bugging you.

I was just thinking that maybe,

after your deal closes, that you might want to-

if you're not too tired, maybe you'd want to come over

and celebrate?

I'll wear that little red thing that you like so much.

I think I may have tweaked my hip flexor.

Well, I'll just have to be on top next time.

Finding you has been...

such a relief.

Too much wine.

What is it that you always say?

The more drunk I get the better looking you get?

That's it.

I certainly don't need to be drunk.

You could use a couple of shots though.

Come on, Dori. Don't sell yourself short.

You're beautiful.

Do you really mean that?

Of course.

Look into my eyes and tell me I'm beautiful.

You guys are both beautiful.

What am I going to do with you?

Let's go away up north. Just you and me.

My Grandpa Ed has a place in the mountains.

He never uses it.

I wish I could, but I can't.

Oh... Come on. It'll be fun.

It's in the middle of nowhere.

It'll be a great escape from all the hustle and bustle.

I'd never be able to take the time off work.

You own the company.

You can take all the time off you want.

It sounds really good.

But I have two deals closing this weekend.

Maybe I didn't make myself clear.

I'm asking you nicely.

Would you please come away up North with me?

Maybe we should take a little time to think about this?

Please?

Please, please, pretty please?

With Dori on top?

Wow!

Please?

Romeo?

You know you can't go away for a week with her.

It's not a week. It's a long weekend.

You really drink that stuff?

You can't really be this naive.

What?

Dori thinks she's your girlfriend.

I guarantee that she's telling all her gal pals

about how her great new boyfriend is so special

and she maybe has found Mr. Right.

Dori's not like that.

She's well travelled.

International.

I've never said anything to indicate that

this relationship is serious.

You said you'd go away with her.

That's saying it.

Seriously? There is a coffee maker over there.

We don't have soy.

Look. Some people like to lease cars

and some people like to buy them.

And my lease with Dori is up in a few weeks.

I wash my hands clean of all this.

Oh shit, I forgot to call Cara.

Are those really real?

So now do you think I should give up like you did?

I didn't think so.

Hey... I'm a happily married man.

Really?

Are you really happily married?

Because I have never met a happily married couple.

My folks being at the top of that list.

Cara!

Hi!

You did?

That is so funny.

You're wrong.

About the coffee.

God I just love this song.

It's so romantic. Don't you think?

My heart is floating.

I'm surprised such an expensive car

doesn't have one of these things built into it.

It's not a car. It's a Porsche.

That is so typical of a man.

What is?

Drooling over a car.

Sorry. Sorry.

- A Porsche. - Thank you.

I'm reading this book

called 'The Twelve Steps to a Happy New Year.'

Of course you are.

What?

He's a really smart guy.