Below Deck

Previously,

- Previously, on "Below Deck"...

- Chris, Chris? This is the captain.

I'm just wondering why I don't hear Chris.

- Hey, Chris? - Yeah, I'm up. Ugh, f---.

- You know, you're gonna be dumb, you've got to be tough.

He's a whole lot of one and not much of the other.

- Hi. - How are you?

- This is really why I got into yachting.

You meet a hot sailor who's got a beautiful sailboat.

Hey, this is nice.

Yeah.

- I think Nico's adorable, but he has a girlfriend,

and I'm not gonna get in the way of that.

I miss you.

- Listen, you're breaking up. - I want the one on the star.

- Are you guys getting along right now?

- She sucks at her job, but she's hilarious.

- It's insulting, and it's definitely out of line.

- You're so wonderful. - Thank you.

- Bri and I have chemistry together.

- Bri's pretty. She's a pretty girl.

Jen likes to drink.

- Nobody comes between me and Jesus.

- Here we go. Here we go. Here we go. Here we go.

- Jen? - What?

- What are you doing? - I'm good. I just am drunk.

I don't want to be like this. I never get this way.

Ever! Ever.

- I know, me either. - I want to go to bed.

- I like Jen. I can't explain it.

But she's having a full-fledged dramatic telenovela meltdown.

I'm leaving without you. I'm getting a cab.

Bye.

all: Baker! Baker! Baker! Baker!

The way I see it, I can either go back to the boat

and hang out with drunk crewmembers,

or I can go with hot Jesus

on his private sailboat and hang out with him.

- Let's go home, and get sleep, then.

You're funny.

What would Jesus do?

Come on.

Me.

- Hey, I have a question for you.

I know you love your seat back, but like, I'm--

- F---off. Sit right there. Don't look at me like that.

You can both sit up here. I can lay on the seat.

- I'm not moving. No, I'm not moving.

- You can sit right here. I have a whole seat for you.

I'm not. I'm done.

- There you go. - Oh.

I need--I need help. Thanks.

F---my life.

Where did Kate disappear to?

- - That sucks.

- Can you help me with my hangover?

Mm-hmm.

- Okay, look here. - All right.

- I feel like honest and intention--intentional today.

- Okay. - I enjoy your friendship.

It's like, really nice to, like,

be able to really connect with somebody else.

Yep.

- Vulnerability looks good on me.

Pretty girls like that sh--.

You're a hard read, by the way.

- I'm hard to read? What would you like to clarify?

- Where are you at? What's up with you?

- I totally appreciate you being honest with me.

Interesting me...

But I am not currently romantically attracted to you.

We should sleep soon.

That feels better to get that little conversation over with.

Guys, I was crunk last night.

all: Baker! Baker! Baker!

- How are you feeling? - I feel fine.

You're very happy.

I, on the other hand, was not very happy.

- How was your night? You weren't happy?

I wanted my bed.

- Anybody seen Kate this morning?

No idea.

I think she's... at church.

Getting baptized.

Oh, it's you, okay.

The best thing about waking up early

is catching the walk of shame.

You are naughty.

This is gold to me.

Um, hi!

- Yeah. -

Somebody was naughty-yachty!

Maybe, maybe she'll be a happier Kate.

- I guess that answers my question as to where Kate's at.

- Deck guys, let's help Bruno on the dock.

Let's go, seriously. Don't drag it on the dock.

Do not drag that on the dock. Let's move, Chris.

Come on, princess.

So, what we'll do is chamois, fold it here,

and then put it in the last. - Yep.

- Can you throw down a chamois mop?

- It's upstairs. You guys get it.

- The thing about Chris is he just doesn't care.

On a scale to one to not giving a sh--,

he's sh-- his pants.

Oh. I'd like to sleep.

- Hey, Jen, did you toast me a bagel?

I did.

It was waiting for you in the toaster.

- Thank you. I about broke my ankle last night.

It's a miracle I didn't.

Mm-hmm.

- Church? Was Jesus there? - Yes, Jesus was there.

Jesus came.

I saw God twice.

- That must have been some mass. - Mm-hmm.

- So it needs to be, like, nice and soft.

Whatever pays the bills.

- Look at that. - Oh!

Is that from last night?

Those are.

He like, pow! -

- You need some sun.

We should take the ironing board outside onto the deck.

- Yeah, okay. You can do that.

- Really? - Yes.

- And wear our bikinis while we iron?

- Yeah, you want to do it? - Hell, yeah, buddy.

- Go change. - All right, yes.

I can't wait to be outside in the sun!

- Deckhands' lucky day. - I know, I know.

- Listen, I signed up for six weeks of charter,

not six weeks of rehab.

On our turnover day, I'm gonna have a beer,

'cause it's the only time we can.

- Holy sh--. - Hey, Nico, you want to chat?

- Yeah, I just want to check my emails really quick.

Is that okay?

- Yeah. - F---ing...

- Have you been able to talk to your girlfriend

since you've been here?

- Well, it's been hard, because I've been--

- Mm-hmm. - Sorry, you're distracting me.

Yeah, you know what?

Sometimes you need to just get some alone time.

What the hell is going on?

Sorry.

No, I'm like, you know, when, like,

someone's, like, overly compensating,

like acting like everything's fine.

It's just not, you know?

Just, it's just a lot, you know?

I just want to be home right now.

I'm so worried about Mom.

I can't fix anything when I'm here, you know?

And I've always been there for her.

And if she's not okay, it's gonna f---me up, you know?

Like, I can't deal with that.

From the beginning of the season,

I just wanted to be home with my family.

It's hard dealing with losing your best friend

and your little brother.

It's hard on my mom, it's hard on my family,

and it's not really fair for me to not be there

to support my brothers and my family.

Coming up...

What the f--- are they doing?

- Did I hit something? - God damn it!

Kate, Matt, Nico,

I need you guys in the crew mess ASAP.

Sports fans. - Hi.

- We have Susan Winters Macintosh.

She's a luxury real estate agent in the Palm Springs area,

which is a pretty high-rent area.

We have eight, which is two more than we've had in the past,

and they're all women.

Girls getting together to get sh--faced and have some fun.

If this crew steps up to the plate,

this should be a walk in the park.

They want to do a disco-themed dance party.

- Yeah. I mean, disco theme party?

Come on, it's played out.

But at least it's not an '80s theme party.

- Chef, I don't see anything in there that's really crazy.

Okay.

- So, we are gonna get bombarded.

We'll just take it as it comes and make it work.

There's a lot of work left to be done on the boat.

So let's pack it in, guys. - Yay.