The Mindy Project

Building a business from the ground up is difficult.

From filing permits to picking

the right Georgia O'Keeffe poster for your waiting room,

the process can be overwhelming,

especially when you have to constantly supervise

your hired help because they get so easily distracted.

No, no, no! Uh! Ah!

- Oh, God. - Ah!

Oh, God. Okay, I'm sorry.

Plus, ironically, burning the candle at both ends

leaves almost no time for your personal flames.

Here you go, babe.

Aw. Thank you, sweetheart.

I've also learned that even when you seek friendly advice

from business pros, they can feel threatened by your talent.

Kris Jenner, hi! My name is Mindy Lahiri.

I started the Lahiri fertility clinic.

Again? How did she get in here?

Please, please. Your womb is a national treasure!

If you could just tweet about my clinic...

But at the end of the day,

there is nothing more satisfying

than seeing the results of all of your hard work.

Okay, get to it, babe.

Are you guys ready?

Hell yeah.

I've been ready since I woke up here.

The Lahiri Fertility Clinic has purchased

some primo advertising space

in a very cool spot for movers and shakers.

Ta-da!

Okay. Sir?

Sir, I'm obviously trying to unveil something.

Could you please move?

Thank you, thank you.

Ta-da! "We got you, girl!"

I cancelled cardio ballet for this?

Doesn't that just make you want to come get impregnated by me?

Is that even you, Dr. L?

The eyes on that woman are hella blue.

Tamra, I have told you a million times,

my eyes photograph blue.

She has blue eyes, Tamra.

You look like a werewolf.

I once knew a werewolf.

Can I fix it with a Sharpie?

Can I get one for my bedroom?

I am so professionally excited this morning.

I have to doff my cap

to Dr. Adrian Bergdahl,

who has done more procedures this week

than all the other doctors combined.

It is amazing what you can accomplish

when you don't spend an hour

planning your two-hour lunch break.

I think it's really cool that Dr. Bergdahl is able

to do his one job while also not being pregnant.

Meanwhile, in addition to my responsibilities here,

I have started my own business, the Lahiri Fertility center.

Yes, we know. You made us all buy merch.

I just want to say, I love the color.

This is the longest I've ever gone without being hit by a car.

The setup over there is sick.

My patients are like, "Are we at a spa?"

I mean, they will say that once I get my first patient.

Yeah.

I think we should send all our referrals her way.

Well, that sounds like favoritism,

but there is a kernel of truth in it,

and I would like to take this opportunity...

Oh.

To invite all of you to our grand opening gala.

There is a dress code.

It's risqué red carpet. Have fun with it.

But take it seriously, okay?

You come looking like crap,

you're gonna leave looking like crap,

'cause I'm not gonna let you in.

Excuse me, everyone, I have an interruption.

Morgan, Beverly, and I are doing a walk-a-thon to raise money

for a problem that affects us all...

nurse obesity.

What? You're all skinny as hell!

Yeah, due to poverty.

We're looking to raise $250,000, so it'd be great if I could put

each of the doctors down for $50,000 to start.

$50,000?

Hey. Dr. Bergdahl, I feel like

you're not giving us your undivided attention here.

I'm sorry you feel that way.

It's just that I don't care about this at all.

Hey, hey, hold up, let me just tell you how this office works.

An office is a family.

No, a family is a family, and between my beautiful wife

and my kids, who look more like me,

my plate is full with my own business.

Okay, fine, we get it.

You're rich, and you own a plate.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have work to do.

No, my bagels!

- Hey! - Those are my bagels!

Those bagels are Morgan's weekend food!

- Hello? - Let him have 'em.

I'll starve to death,

and my death will thaw his icy heart.

Did you see it? He took the bagels.

Yes, Dr. Bergdahl is gruff, and he is rude,

but you know who else is?

Chris Christie, and he's our vice president.

Well, I can't handle being treated like dirt.

That's why I quit my dream job

doing customer service at the cable company.

If I can tolerate dress sneakers at the Met,

you can tolerate a prickly doctor,

who happens to be our best worker.

The guy stinks, and that's coming from a man

who sleeps with a dozen wet dogs every night.

Okay, Danny, Jeremy, they're not completely wrong,

and we cannot have our entire support staff up and quit.

That's how we ended up with these guys.

- What? - Hey, I'm slammed.

Can one of you nurses make me a sandwich?

Nothing fancy, just ham, mustard, avocado.

Anybody else want anything? Nurses are making sandwiches.

Do I like I work at Au Bon Pain?

Fine, I'll talk to him.

Will you quit snoozing?

Hey, hey, hey. Hey!

We have our first patient.

Oh, God. Okay.

How do I look? Do I have drool?

Relax, you've never looked more beautiful.

How do I look?

Nobody cares! Just send her in.

This way.

Ta-da.

Welcome. Please have a seat.

Thank you.

So are you accompanyg your daughter to her appointment?

No, I don't have a daughter.

That's where you come in, sweetheart.

Morgan, we've been pranked again!

- Prankster? - Yeah.

Think it's funny to prank us, huh?

Wait, I don't understand this.

Yeah, I bet you don't understand.

- Get outta here. - Get your ass up, come on.

You're done for the day.

I've never been so insulted.

You are in big trouble, and I love older women.

It's nice to see you, Dr. Castellano.

I'm really glad to hear you're moving forward

with your fertility treatment.

Why don't you have a seat inside, and we'll get started?

Now, of course there's a variety of top-notch specialists

here in Manhattan.

Excuse me a second.

Top-notch specialists right here in Manhattan.

Where were we?

Psst, pamphlet. Ahem, pamphlet.

I left a pamphlet.

Get away from the door!

Are you okay?

There's a cold going around the office here.

Oh.

Dr. Mindy Lahiri, for instance,

opened up a fertility practice right here on this floor,

and she just finished a fellowship at Stanford.

Interesting.

Has she helped a lot of your patients get pregnant?

Sh... uh, she's a very experienced OB/GYN.

Okay.

So she has helped patients get pregnant?

She has helped them be pregnant.

What... what does that mean?

No, she hasn't had any fertility patients of her own.

Well, thank you so much.

Thank you.

Hey.

So when does she want to make an appointment?

I'm supposed to see a psychic about my missing shoe,

but I think I can move that around.

Babe, I told her all about you...

You're the best.

And she wanted me to recommend a more established practice.

And she went with them.

What?

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, stop, stop, okay, look.

What was I supposed to say to the woman when she asked me

how many patients you got pregnant?

Do you want me to lie?

I lie for you all the time!

Remember when I told that cop in the park

that we were just two male friends wrestling?

That's different. I mean, this whole thing.

This is professional.

Look, I believe in you, but you're just getting started.

Would you get your hair cut by Vito's trainee, Little Vito?

No, you go to Vito.

Are you comparing my practice