Frankie and Johnny

Boss, they just stopped a customer from betting a roll of these. Why?

Why? Because that's Confederate money.

Money's money, ain't it?

Blackie, I don't know what I'd do without you.

- You'd manage. -Thanks.

Escort the gentleman gently to the deck and kick him down the gangplank.

No more bets.

You seen Johnny? It's nearly showtime.

Yeah, he made his daily contribution. He went that way.

- The rabbit's foot didn't help? -Help?

He lost that, too.

Okay, new shooter. Come on out.

Johnny?

Twelve straight times he drew cards to 12, on account of today is the 12th.

He didn't even win once?

With me dealing?

- Piano player. -Yes, Mr. Braden.

Try to play the notes the way they're written.

I'll use both hands.

And if Johnny is late again, I hope he can dance with a broken leg.

That's what I like about you, boss. Always ready with a pat on the back.

Place your bets.

- You seen Johnny? -Look under the nearest pair of dice.

- Don't you even say hello to your wife? -Hello, wife.

Peg, how can I get Johnny to give up gambling?

Easy. A bullet in the head, poison in his coffee, a fatal knife wound.

Nothing to it.

Where have you been? I lost your trail at the blackjack table.

Ran into a guy who told me about a gypsy fortuneteller.

She's got a hot cup of tea leaves.

I'm a coffee man myself.

What happened with your astrologer? Couldn't read the stars on a cloudy night?

- You got to have faith, Cully. -And money.

- How much did you lose tonight? -How much did I have?

That's what you lost last night. You're holding your own.

Seven years bad luck.

- It was already cracked. -Okay, only five.

Be over before you know it.

Say, five. That's a hunch. Loan me $5.

I can't afford you much longer.

- Put the $5 on number 5. -l'll lose my job if I'm late.

I'll lose my confidence if l pass up a hunch bet.

Hello, Johnny.

Hello, Johnny.

Say goodbye, Johnny.

They're wearing mittens out there tonight.

- They just don't appreciate talent. -No.

- On stage for the Petunia number. -Always brings me luck, you know.

You need a new horseshoe.

I've got a gal

Oh, what a pal

The apple of my eye

We're something rare

A peach of a pair

But her dad won't let us meet and I could die

I love Petunia

The gardener's daughter

Oh, how that gal can kiss

My eyes are blue as bluebells

Each cheek a rose to see

How I dance when she plants her two lips on me

He's as daffy as a daffodil

He loves to kiss me all the time

Tonight I'll steal into her garden

And make Petunia's two lips mine

She makes other girls look just like weeds

I wanna be his clinging vine

Tonight I'll steal into her garden

And make Petunia's two lips

My ever-loving two lips

Make Petunia's two lips mine

- What were those signals? -What signals?

Between you and Cully. I'm not blind.

Those signals. Nothing. He just made a little bet for me.

Now you've got helpers. Can't you lose fast enough alone?

- Where're you going? -To have my head examined.

- There must be a hole in it. -You can't help it if you're in love.

You're born losers, both of you!

- What's the matter with her? -She's crazy about the wrong guy. Me.

I am a loser.

But if l had $20, I could be a winner.

I hate myself for asking, but how?

This gypsy fortuneteller parked across the river,

I hear everyone who takes her advice is getting rich.

- So how come she lives in a wagon? -The wagon is loaded with gold.

You got $20?

Lucky for you, it just so happens...

You are the lowest person that ever lived.

- Peg, my sweetheart, you've missed me. -You're not what I've missed.

-No? -NO!

I've missed the $50 I hid in my winter lingerie.

You know, I never could keep out of your...

You didn't have to stab me.

I should've listened to my sainted mother. She said you were just like my father.

I could never drink that much.

Don't you dare say one word about my drunken old man.

- Where's the money? -I lost it, Peg, all of it. Honest.

- And he loaned me the last $5. -Now you stay out of this.

Just to convince me, you take off your shoes.

- My Shoes? -0ff!

Love and trust. That's what makes a marriage great.

See? I could never lie to you.

Well, there's a $10 lie.

- Now, how did that get in there? -I wonder.

Good bye, GYPSY-

Hello, Zolita.

Business is awful.

Why don't you have a talk with your crystal ball?

Maybe these are two live ones.

What shall I promise them?

A long journey or sudden wealth?

As long as it costs you nothing, give them both.

Gentlemen, you have come to the right place.

The one, the only, the incomparable Zolita.

The kid's got problems.

Keeps breaking mirrors and walking under black cats.

Yes, my son,

you look troubled. Deeply troubled.

No, it's worse than that. I can't break my losing streak.

You are a gambling man.

Every cent I make. I could sure use some motherly advice.

Mother Zolita can only interpret, my son.

Perhaps the tea leaves will forecast failure, perhaps success.

I am merely a princess with a rare gift

handed down from generation to generation.

- Didn't I tell you she was great? -She hasn't said anything yet.

The leaves are ready to speak.

No lemon?

The tea leaves have spoken.

If you do not mind, I work alone.

What do they spell, Mother?

How lucky you are.

The wheel of fortune has stopped at your number.

- A wheel? That's roulette. -And I see a dice table, too.

No blackjack? This boy plays all games.

And a new woman is coming into your life.

Beautiful young redhead.

It can't be a redhead, Princess. My girl's a blonde.

Take another look.

Now I see a blonde.

But she has been bad luck for you.

The tea leaves say you will have good luck with the redhead.

I know better. I married one. Take the advice of a 20-year loser.

- No redheads. -He must not defy the tea leaves.

How're you gonna explain her to Frankie?

Why explain? We'll just use her to make a bundle.

You're going to pass off a beautiful redhead as a good-luck piece?

Good luck.

- If I may be so crude... -Sure.

If you please, the princess never soils her royal hands with money.

$10?

When the tea leaves promise a beautiful redhead, it is $20.

A lot of money for a cup of tea.

That's a gypsy for you.

Takes all your dough, so you can't take her advice.

Minor problems like that I cannot solve.

Maybe you can get another advance from Braden.

Not a chance. I'm already in for five weeks' salary.

That you lost right back into his pocket. Braden's got a nice little thing going there.

Don't worry.

Did you ever know a gambler who couldn't promote some betting money?

- You also need chesay. -Chesay? Who's that?

Chesay is gypsy good luck. Lazlo!

Drink a cup of gypsy luck

Just tip it up

And then you just say chesay

Swallow once then swallow twice

Goes down so nice Just say chesay, hey!

What's in the drink, chase the devil away?

Lightning, I think, so just say chesay

Chesay, chesay Brings you good luck night and day

Chesay, chesay That's the gypsy way

Trouble is my middle name

Though it's such a crying shame

Try and try, there's nothing I can do

But I'm feeling kinda strange

Feel like things are gonna change

Time my lucky star was shining through

Chesay, chesay Brings you good luck night and day

Chesay, chesay That's the gypsy way

Drink a cup of gypsy luck

Just tip it up

And then you just say chesay

Swallow once then swallow twice

Goes down so nice Just say chesay, hey!

What's in the drink, chase the devil away?

Magic, I think, so just say chesay

Chesay, chesay Brings you good luck night and day

Chesay, chesay That's the gypsy way

Chesay, chesay Brings you good luck night and day

Chesay, chesay That's the gypsy way

Chesay, chesay Brings you good luck night and day

Chesay, chesay That's the gypsy way, chesay

Have you seen Cully? He's been missing for an hour.

- Tried the Lost and Found Department? -No, I'm afraid they'll find him.

I always know where to find Johnny. In the casino, losing his shirt.

With the way the other girls look at him, you're lucky he isn't playing around.

You know what I'd do if he ever did me wrong?

- Shoot yourself? -No, him.

One last request before I cross the great footlights up yonder.