Lethal Weapon

MAN (OVER P.A.): Welcome to the LAPD Gun Buyback Program.

$100 to $500 per gun.

No questions asked.

It's raining guns out there.

I told you, man.

- Don't ever doubt me. - You know what?

I'm finna call an audible. Y'all strap up.

We going shopping.

No, wait, wait, wait.

The plan is, we wait till dark, man.

I got a new plan.

Yo, Carlo, there's way too many people out here, man.

Hey, who say we go right now? Show of hands.

Sorry, you been outvoted.

I have... three bam.

Man.

Seven crack.

: Ah-ah.

And that is what we call in the business:

mo-jonga!

Mah-jongg, and mah ass.

You're cheating.

Oh, come on, Ruthie, don't be a sore loser.

Uh, I haven't been called a sore loser since '87.

And lesson learned:

never challenge Don Henley to lawn darts.

Now, give me the boot.

- (SIGHS) - Go on.

Mm-hmm.

- (RATTLING) - Hmm.

What kind of schlemiel cheats at penny mah-jongg?

The kind who's tired of losing five nights in a row.

- Want to make it six? - You're on.

But it's your night for food.

None of that spray cheese crap you made me eat.

- No spray cheese, no alcohol? - (PHONE BEEPING)

You're just a barrel of fun,

aren't you, Ruthie?

Oh, uh, I got to take this.

What? I'm right in the middle of something.

Son of a...

Because I told him that bef...

I've already...

You know I already talked to him, right? I...

: Last week.

Okay. Well, how much?

That's more money than I've seen in my life.

This is extortion.

No. The hell I will!

I said, the hell I will!

Everything okay?

Depends how you look at it.

I... I got to take off.

See you tonight?

No, Marty.

I-I mean, I'm taking off.

Taillights by sunset.

Wait a minute, you're leaving?

Hey. Who was that on the phone?

Oh. It's no one.

Just, um, I got to, you know, I... just time for me to go.

I-I don't like staying in one place for too long.

Roamers gotta roam, huh?

This is, you know, good news for you.

You're gonna get your view back.

Oh, no, you slept down here again?

What? No.

I'm just, uh,

folding up laundry, you know.

And, uh, tidying up my pillow,

- as one does. - That's called denial.

It's been five nights in a row.

Look, whatever's going on between you and Mom,

apologize already.

There's nothing going on.

Really?

You two are barely talking, you're sleeping on the couch,

and your toothbrush is always downstairs.

You know what? You're brainwashed.

You sound just like your mother.

- That's your mother talking. - No.

This is

their mother talking.

Riana, RJ, dismissed.

No, Riana, RJ, you don't have to go anywhere.

We are captains of our own ships in this house.

See ya, Dad.

- I'm out. - Mm.

Trish.

Good morning, Roger.

And, uh...

how did you sleep last night?

Right in the middle of the bed...

spread out.

Roger.

Is there nothing you want to say to me?

Actually, there is.

Have you seen

my, uh... keys?

They're in your hand, Roger.

No, no. My, uh...

other...

keys.

The motorcycle.

- You are not... - Oops.

Ha! Found 'em.

Good for you.

- I'll be out there poppin' wheelies. - Eh.

What the hell are you doing?

Hanging up my helmet.

You know, when I talked to Trish,

I-I thought maybe she was overreacting, but...

You talked to Trish?

That is an unbelievable betrayal.

Eh, she calls, I just don't want to be rude.

You ignore my phone calls all the time.

- You want my advice? - No, I do not.

Apologize to Trish and move on.

You know, look, I-I-I've been playing

a lot of mah-jongg lately.

- Mah-jongg? - (CHUCKLES)

- Let me guess. Ruthie? - And what I've learned

is that you got to play the tiles you've been dealt.

I've got excellent tiles.

You're overplaying your hand, Rog.

- It's a schmuck move. - Did you just say "schmuck"?

Am I supposed to take advice

from a guy who's dating his 86-year-old neighbor?

We're not dating.

Okay. Bumpin' uglies.

And she's not my neighbor.

Anymore, anyway.

Aw, I'm sorry to hear that.

Don't worry, you'll find someone else.

There's a retirement community just up the road.

Bowman, is it too early in the morning

to punch Rog in the face?

Don't answer that. It's not a real question.

So, someone ripped off our gun buyback?

That's got to be a first.

They got a truck filled with 400-plus weapons.

Officers were ambushed

by masked gangbangers.

One of whom decided to stick around.

Well, it was decided for him.

- Did we shoot him in the back? - Wasn't LAPD.

Eyewitnesses all say the same thing, though.

Someone on his own team took him out.

Imagine?

Getting to the point where you'd shoot your own partner in the back?

Oh, yeah, yep, I could see that. 100%

== Re-synced by MaxPayne ==

Avery, we have a development.

Good, because we can't let a truck full of guns

get taken under our noses... please tell me you found 'em.

The guns? No.

We have a barely reliable eyewitness

who saw some gang ink on a suspect.

Riggs and I are heading to Crenshaw

- to investigate the lead. - That's the development?

What? No.

I'm talking about a development with Trish.

This morning I sensed a ready-to-crack vibe from her.

So I think if I can just wedge that...

I'm gonna have to stop you right there, Rog.

I-I'm gonna have to recuse myself.

Trish called today looking for an ear,

and I feel like I should remain a neutral party.

First Riggs, now you.

She's employing the isolation method.

It's like Sun Tzu says. Chapter one, The Art of War.

If your enemies are united, divide 'em.

You're reading The Art of War?

She's a master strategist... I need all the help

- I can get. - Roger...

you need to apologize.

End this. She is not ready to crack.

I've done nothing wrong.

And this wouldn't be an apology,

it would be a surrender.

Do that, then. That's a great idea.

I thought you were a neutral party.

And I am neutrally telling you

that Trish is way out of your league.

You won the lottery; don't throw away the ticket.

Well, you've made your side known.

There's no sides.

In war, there's always a side.

Sun Tzu.

A doughnut without a hole...

is just a Danish.

That's Caddyshack.

Doesn't make it less true.