8-Bit Christmas

Good morning, Chicago.

The big question for Santa

is can he handle the Chicago weather.

What do I want for Christmas?

how about a winning team?

Any Chicago team.

You've already put your wish in for Santa, right?

I sure have. I wrote a list, I checked it twice.

Blackhawk fans around the world,

fans everywhere have had...

And I love this time of year.

We gotta hustle, Annie.

Come on. Let's go, go, go! -

That's my friends trying to reach me, isn't it?

You know, if I had my own phone...

Um, there's no quit in you, and it's inspiring. Still a hard no.

Okay, let's say I'm in a burning building.

No. A burning pet store.

No. A burning orphanage,

and I need to make a phone call.

You'd feel so terrible. -

Lives are at stake!

You're not getting a phone, Annie. I'm sorry.

I get more calls on your phone than you do.

That's not true.

My friends have to text you just to talk to me.

It's embarrassing.

I'm not embarrassing. Maeve's dad is embarrassing.

Whoa!

Ow!

Still? The ice?

I told them to salt it. - Ow.

You were saying? -

One second.

Jake Doyle.

It's for you.

Fifty-eight minutes to Grandpa and Grandma's. With traffic.

Boom!

Hey, you wanna shoot pucks in the driveway later?

No, thanks.

Why not? I thought you liked it. It's kind of our thing.

I don't like hockey anymore.

Oh, okay, well...

maybe we can build a snowman with Mom and your brother?

Dad.

We could...

Hey, hold up, hold up, hold up.

Listen, kiddo, I'm sorry about the phone. It's not gonna happen.

I hate to see you disappointed.

Look, I know that this year is a little bit different,

but you can still have a good Christmas.

What about you?

I always have a good Christmas.

Hello?

Mom?

Must be out running errands.

Katie? Charlie?

I'm bored.

Why couldn't we visit Aunt Lizzy in Australia instead?

Those flights are crazy expensive.

Well...

what am I supposed to do here?

I...

Come on, come on.

Ta-da!

What is that? -That's my Nintendo from when I was a kid.

Hmm. It looks like Tupperware.

Tupperware?

Come on, let's play.

Can I text Maeve from your phone after?

Can you...

Yes, but can I show you how this works first, please?

Yeah. -Thank you.

Oh, first you have to do this.

Why?

I don't know, just how it works.

-Nice. Maybe dust?

I thought you said Grandma and Grandpa

didn't let you have video games when you were little.

They didn't.

Then how'd you get it?

When I was a kid, I wanted a Nintendo worse than you want a phone.

That's not possible.

You know what? Today is your lucky day.

Because I am now going to tell you the story about how I got my Nintendo.

But it is possibly the most amazing, dangerous,

awesome story of all time.

So... can you handle it?

Is it dangerous because I might die from boredom?

That's a good point.

The year was 1987. Or was it '88?

No. '85, Bears.

Super Bowl was in '86... -Okay, does it really matter, Dad?

Okay, okay.

The year was the late '80s.

We'll call it December.

I was 11 years old.

In the winter, if the streets were plowed,

I could make it to Timmy Keane's house in just under eight minutes.

On a bike? How fast were you going?

Super fast.

Did you wear a helmet?

Yeah, of course.

We always wore helmets in the '80s.

Was it green?

Um, yeah. It was green.

Could I just tell the story?

Yeah. - Thanks.

Nintendo! Nintendo! Nintendo!

Nintendo! Nintendo!

The rule at Keane's was simple.

The first ten kids to get through his door got to play Nintendo.

You know how you meet some people,

and you have no idea that they have a lot of money?

Yeah. Timmy Keane was the opposite of that.

A known psycho,

he had the tendency to lose his mind on a regular basis.

You're out! -You! You! You!

Stupid!

Idiot Grandma!

It was an early lesson in God's cruelty...

giving the only Nintendo in town to a rich kid like Timmy Keane.

And every kid at Mary Todd Lincoln Elementary was at his mercy...

including my best friends.

Oh, another Saturday in the trenches.

Mikey Trotter.

Tough, tenacious. Was allowed to watch R-rated movies, and it showed.

I wanna set land mines in this yard.

Like in Platoon, blow everyone up.

Sounds dangerous.

Evan Olsen.

Nervous, allergic to bees and SpaghettiOs.

Probably has to go home soon.

I probably gotta go home soon.

More Nintendo for us.

Tammy Hodges.

Smart, confident, baseball card genius

and future CEO of Hodges Industries.

My Canseco rookie went up two bucks!

Yeah, that used to be my Canseco.

Teddy Hodges.

Tammy's twin brother.

Future assistant to the CEO of Hodges Industries.

Hey, guys. What's up?

Oh, yeah, and this kid.

Sorry I'm late. I was on the phone with Bon Jovi.

Jeff Farmer.

Pathological liar.

Not really our friend, but always around.

And you left school early yesterday

because Tom Cruise needed you to stunt double for him?

He knows I too have a need for speed.

So, you didn't have diarrhea?

It was both. Tom Cruise and diarrhea.

The two are not mutually exclusive.

Shut up. He's coming out.

Nintendo! Nintendo!

Nintendo!

Nintendo!

Nintendo! -Silence!

8:00 a.m.

Game time.

Any of you huddled masses care for some Nintendo?

Yeah!

Pick me! Pick me!

You. You. You.

You're good.

Yes! I got in!

We're in!

I love this place.

Whoa! - Awesome.

And there she was, glistening in all her gray plastic glory,

a maze of rubber wiring and electronic intelligence so advanced

it was deemed not a video game,

but an 8-bit entertainment system.

Say hello to my little friend.

Hey, boots off!

There's tape over there if you have holes in your socks.

Don't touch the wall! It's French.

Wait, my brother's still outside. - Let me in!

You know the rules.

First ten, that's it.

But it's Teddy.

"But it's Teddy."

Jerk!

Too bad, so sad.

There was no denying he was a jerk.

There was also no denying he had the coolest basement

in the entire Central Time Zone.

A pool table, shuffle board, pinball machine,

pop machine, movie-style popcorn-maker.

Hey, no sucking on the soda pop.

And a snack drawer better stocked

than most supermarkets in the greater Chicago area.

You guys hungry? You want some Pop-Tarts or something?

Yeah. That'd be great. - Sure.

-Mom.

Mom!

Mom, wake up! - What?

Get me a Pop-Tart!