Miss Scarlet & The Duke (Miss Scarlet)

My name is Eliza Scarlet.

I'm a private detective.

And, please, don't say, "You're a what?"

I'm running this London office now,

and I can assure you, things will pick up.

We have exactly no clients.

Desperate times call for desperate measures.

No sniffing around or digging.

I'm not a dog, William.

What have you done?!

You look tired. You look beautiful.

Here at Nash and Sons,

we offer the most professional of services.

And I do not boast when I say that these past few months

under my leadership have seen even greater success.

A woman, no less, at the helm

of London's most esteemed private detective agency.

Eliza Scarlet, chief investigator.

One T in Scarlet, Mr. Godfrey.

Ah.

As you can see, my success here speaks for itself.

Sorry to disturb you,

Miss Scarlet, but I need your sign-off

on the Whitlock case investigation.

Of course.

Another successful conclusion to one of our many cases.

And if you could ensure that our address is placed

somewhere prominent in the article, Mr. Godfrey.

How many times?

It's the Whitlock case or the Whitlock investigation,

not both.

I was not hired by Mr. Nash

to pretend to be a private detective.

So you said, three times.

Thank you, everyone.

You know the drill by now.

Miss Scarlet, may I speak my mind? No.

I know it's not ideal that Mr. Nash's entire

staff of men have left you. Thank you...

Deserted is more an appropriate term.

But whilst he's in Paris,

it is my number-one responsibility

to make sure his business is financially viable.

As it is mine-- thank you.

So, so, as his accountant, I must advise you

in the strongest possible terms

that this, this financial practice is not prudent.

Thank you. Thank you, Miss Scarlet.

I know what I'm doing, Clarence.

Really?

Really? Because, because hiring actors

to pretend to be detectives tells me otherwise!

So, I've done some sums.

And our financial situation

is not as bad as we first thought.

It is worse.

Hence my reservations

at hiring actors who purport to be employees.

It's a waste of money. It's not.

"The Illustrated Police News" will publish an article

declaring our success

since Mr. Nash left me in charge.

This, in turn, will attract more clients.

The term "more" implies we already have a full roster.

But the last time I checked, we have exactly

no clients.

I do not wish to lay blame

squarely at your door...

Good, because the fact they didn't want a woman

running their accounts is a question of biology, not fault.

And the same goes for Mr. Nash's staff of men.

My recollection is that Mr. Nash's men left

because of the manner in which you dealt with them.

Half of them never returned after their lunch

and the other half strolled into work when it suited.

I was trying to run a tighter ship.

Well, Mr. Nash's way

was a little more respectful.

Clarence, need I remind you that he's not here anymore?

I'm running this London office now,

and I can assure you, things will pick up.

If you say so.

I do.

Get me the files on the local talent from Felton Street

to Bridge Lane, anyone handy with a knife.

Yes, sir.

You track down the dead man's relatives,

inform them of the stabbing. Straightaway, sir.

Hey, Duke... Not now.

Sir!

Not now!

All right, let's get started.

I said, quiet!

Now, I know this last month has been difficult...

Diabolical, more like.

But it has just been confirmed that,

as well as the additional areas in Essex and Kent,

we'll now be policing further districts

in Surrey and Middlesex, too.

Bloody hell, skipper,

we're flat-out as it is.

To cope with demand, all leave will be canceled

and double shifts implemented.

I said not now!

It's urgent, sir. What's this?

Get to it, then.

Fitzroy, Phelps.

Listen, if I want your opinion, Charlie, I will ask for it.

I'm not telling you to do anything

that I'm not already doing myself.

I haven't been home for days.

I know, skipper-- sorry.

Right, there's been a shooting in Mayfair.

Sounds like an armed robbery.

It's that place at the end of Turner Street.

The Temple of Elysium.

Elysium?

Is it a theater?

No, son.

It ain't no theater.

Hello, handsome.

Hello, handsome.

I've already given my statement to the officer

that was here earlier, as did my girls.

I really must insist that they be allowed home.

They've been working all night.

Well, that is as may be, but I need you and them

to tell me the chain of events.

So, an armed gunman entered the brothel...

It's not a brothel.

It is an elite gentlemen's club.

An armed gunman entered the elite gentlemen's club,

robbed it, then shot one of your punters.

A gunman came through the entrance.

He held our watchman

at gunpoint and demanded that he tie himself up.

Then he went from bedroom to bedroom robbing my clients.

My watchman managed to untie himself.

And then he went outside calling for help,

instead of tackling the gunman and protecting me and my girls,

which is what he's paid to do.

You'll need to come to the station

to make a statement, sir.

I need a description of the gunman.

A black scarf covering his face,

shabby cloth cap and overcoat,

average height, fair hair, and blue eyes.

We'll need to talk

to your punters, too.

Well, they've all left.

This is a private club, Detective.

Gentlemen come to the Temple of Elysium

to enjoy some discreet time with one of my goddesses.

Not to be part of

some police investigation.

On that, were you aware that Greek goddesses

actually lived on Mount Olympus, not Elysium?

Elysium was a paradise

for warriors favored by the gods.

I mean, there may have been some women there...

Yes, thank you for the lesson, Detective Fitzroy.

Fascinating, I'm sure.

What about the punter who was shot?

They are not punters!

They are gentleman callers.

So, this gentleman caller

was sleeping off some overindulgence

and the intruder tried to rob him,

and a fight ensued.

Which I assume is why the fella got shot.

So...

Who tended to him?

One of my girls happened to be with a doctor.

He examined him and took him off to hospital.

And what did this doctor say about his injuries?

I never asked.

Which hospital was he taken to?

I never asked.

What was the name of the man who was shot?

They never say.

And let me guess.

You never asked.

Discretion is what this place is built on, Detective.

Gentlemen come here for good reason.

There is never a good reason

to be unfaithful to your wife, madam.

Let's talk again when you're married, son.

I'm in a vicious circle.

No clients means no money.

No money means no hiring of new staff.

No money means no hiring of new staff.

I'm just hoping that when this article is published,

it will attract new business.

Ivy, are you even listening to me?

Sorry.

I've just got to a really good bit in the story.

The detective has just found another dead body.

Blood everywhere.

All you ever do these days is have your nose in a book.

You're the one who told me to read novels