Camp

Got all of that one.

Oh. Mints.

Ah.

Feet off.

Don't touch that.

Why do you always freak out

every time grammy and granddad visit?

I do not freak out. I'm not freaking out now.

It's just that your granddad is very particular

about the way he likes things done around here.

What time are they getting here?

Any minute.

Oh, and I know it would mean a lot

to your grandmother if you wore that t-shirt

that she bought you for your birthday.

Oh, unfortunately, it accidentally got mixed in

with the stuff we donated to goodwill, so...

Yeah, well, fortunately, I found it.

- And I pulled it out. - Oh.

Thank God.

Mack, there's this crazy old man outside

chopping down the bushes.

They're here.

- Ah, there you are! - Hey, grammy.

Oh.

Ah, come here. Give me some sugar.

You get more handsome every time I see you.

I love you in that shirt.

- Mommy. - Ah, my girl.

Oh.

What is daddy doing over there?

Oh. Jack!

Get over here and say hello to your grandson.

Hey, daddy.

Those vines are eating your camellias

like they were cake.

You gotta chop those things back.

- Understand? - Okay, daddy.

- Who's this? - This is Buzz.

I know who it is. I'm making a joke.

Oh.

Come here, boy.

- Oh, I'll get this. - Hey, granddad.

Hey, you caught all the fish in that lake,

or did you leave me some?

Oh, I left you a couple.

How are you doing, Marley?

Why is there no bacon?

A man can't have bacon with his pancakes?

How you feeling, man?

If you don't mind me saying so,

you seem a little grumpy this morning.

These hash browns suck.

Ugh. What's she doing in there?

Hey.

If the hash browns were a nice, golden, crispy brown,

would that make you feel better about the fact

that your girlfriend slept with a best-selling author?

No. But yelling at her might.

It hasn't for the last two weeks.

Where's Sarah? What are you doing?

Clearly, I have no idea.

This is the hardest thing I have ever done,

and I delivered a baby one time at a fair.

Yeah, that's cool. Where's Sarah?

I don't know. She left.

Well, when is she coming back?

No, like, left left, quit,

cleaned out her cabin and everything.

Announcements, announcements, announcements.

Tomorrow night, as some of you know,

is our annual harvest moon festival.

Yeah.

So... Hi.

Oh.

I think my dad would like to say a few words.

Ladies and gentlemen, please say a big hello

to the founder of Camp Little Otter,

Jack Jessup.

All: Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack,

- Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack! - Thank you, thank you.

I come back every year for harvest moon festival,

because here, harvest moon is a celebration,

a reminder that the friends and memories

that you make here at Little Otter

will always warm your heart.

Have a great day, everybody.

Oh, Cole.

Could you pull the vines out of the camellias

up on my cabin?

They're driving my dad crazy.

Sure. Sounds like the perfect job

for an aimless, drifter hobo.

That's not what I said.

No.

But you said I needed to go figure out

what I wanted to do with my life.

- Same thing. - No, it's not.

And I was trying to give you some heartfelt advice.

Yeah, well, we were kissing, remember?

Yes, I remember.

But right now... And I say this

with utmost respect and admiration...

I would appreciate it if you could get

the damn vines out of my camellias.

Look at you.

I'm so proud of you, I could spit.

Don't move.

I wanna capture what you look like

on the last day of your virginity.

The end of innocence.

Dude, it was just a kiss.

It doesn't mean Marina wants to have sex with me.

Excuse me? That's all it means.

Listening to you talk about sex

is like watching a squirrel use the Internet.

Just 'cause a girl kisses you

doesn't mean she wants to have sex with you.

What do you know about sex?

Listening to you talk about sex

is like listening to a bossy squirrel

trying to make a porno, but she can't

because she's a virgin.

I forgot to mention that at the beginning.

Yeah, Buzz, just stop.

Look, you're a million times better than stupid Greg,

but there's still many ways you can screw this up.

Yeah, I know that, grace. Thank you for that.

Marina kissed you.

This should be the greatest day of your life.

But unfortunately, you're too busy being Wilma worry,

which is sad, which is why you look like this.

You're a terrible artist.

Then how did I capture your soul?

Here she comes. Go get her.

You really think she likes me?

Oh, my God, yes.

Although maybe not right this second,

since she's headed for Greg's cabin.

Why is she... I thought...

You're wise to be cautious.

Every woman is a rubik's cube.

Hey.

Um, Greg, there's...

There's kind of something I-I have to tell you.

Well, there's definitely something I need to tell you.

Uh, oh, okay. What's going on?

Oh.

Wow. What do you think?

- Those... those are... - Be honest.

No, no, no, they're... They're great.

You sure? Because...

I think I'm pregnant.

What... what makes you think you're pregnant.

Are you sure? Maybe it's just gas.

It's not gas. I'm a week late.

Look, the only reason I'm telling you this

is because the general store doesn't sell pregnancy tests,

and I was wondering if you could

just give me a ride to the drugstore.

That's all I need. I ne... I need a ride,

a drugstore, and a test.

- Are you sure it's mine? - Yes, I'm sure it's yours.

Guess I should've used a rubber.

Look, can... Can you give me a ride or not?

Actually, I can't. I have to work.

I'm teaching, like, four classes today.

You're welcome to borrow my car.

I don't know how to drive.

Never mind.

I'll figure it out.

Buzz, I'd like to introduce you

to Terminator t-1 short arm thump'r.

Oh.

Those slippery bastards are gonna be so terrified,

they'd probably jump right in the boat.

Oh, good lord. They are jumping today.

That's not fish jumping, granddad.

It's Ridgefield.

Son of a bitch.

There's not even supposed to be a camp

on that side of the lake, much less a golf school.

I think it's just a driving range.

Hey! Whoa!

Damn it to hell!

Where are we going?

We're going to war, Buzz.

Hey, Kip.

- Can I ask you a favor? - Sure.

I saw you at boys town earlier. How's, uh... how's Greg doing?

Uh, yeah, he's... I don't know.

He's doing great. He just got cornrows.

Ah. Perfect.

Anyway, I needed to borrow his car

'cause I gotta run some errands.

Uhhuh.

And the thing is

I don't have a driver's license.

So I was wondering if maybe you could take me?

Sure, sure. But don't you have to work?