The Tick

Hello, world.

This is The Tick.

Don't worry, I'm not in outer space.

I'm not even in this yet.

But I know what's coming...

An epic tale rife with destiny,

adventure, and blood loss!

The ultimate struggle of light against darkness,

of good against evil,

of...

neat?

Okay, this is it.

This is where it all began.

- Hmm. - Hmm.

Finally, human meets superhuman.

And so begins the dawn of the Age of Superheroes!

And we're back with the world's first

and greatest superhero, Superian. -

We were talking about your nemesis, The Terror.

Yeah. By the '90s,

I had been going up against The Terror for decades.

I mean, I had been up against him since I first got here.

If he were alive today, well, I think I'd know that.

Well, thank God he's not.

It is The Terror. I mean, look, it's The Terror.

And there he is. Who can forget this?

I mean, look at him.

He's still frightening.

I have to breathe whenever I see this picture.

It just knocks me out.

I mean, even though he's not been around,

you say he's gone... I get it...

But a lot of people, you know, remember those days.

The last time you fought him was in 1998,

and that's a battle you won.

How do you feel about the conspiracy theorists

who say they believe somehow The Terror -Uh-huh.

- Survived that fire? - Whoopi,

the authorities found his teeth...

All of his teeth... stuck in the walls of a crater that I made

out of him.

These conspiracy theorists

and these fringe people, they're just not rational.

- People be crazy. - People be crazy.

People be cray-cray.

We'll be right back.

Arthur?

Oh, Dot, hey. Uh...

I didn't think you'd pick up.

I-I thought you were on your shift.

I am. What's going on?

Yeah, right, no, um, I just, uh...

I want to, uh, say thank you, you know? -

Just, uh, thanks.

You've helped me a lot.

More than a lot, um,

in the last couple of years, you know, since...

m-my last... thing.

You know, you're-you're a good sister.

Okay, now you're scaring me.

Yeah, see, no, I knew it'd sound weird.

You're not having thoughts, are you?

I mean, nothing obsessive?

What?

No, no, no. No, I'm good.

That's-that's why I'm calling, because I'm good.

I'm doing really well, and I owe you for that.

Okay.

You know, and just...

just thanks, in general.

Okay, um, I got to go.

Somebody new is bleeding.

Hey, Arthur.

Keep it real, okay?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Yeah.

All right! I'm on my way!

The Pyramid Gang runs this city,

and I want to know where's the cops.

The city has been literally taken over by crime.

Yeah, th-that's what I'm sayin'.

We need superheroes.

We need a new Flag Five.

You know, other cities got heroes.

What about us?

I mean, we got screwed, right?

You know? We lost our team,

like, uh, Brooklyn losing the Dodgers.

The Dodgers moved to L.A.!

The Flag Five was blinded by weaponized syphilis

and shot to death!

Hey, can we shut this off?

Please? -Kind of apples and oranges there, caller.

How'd it go at Customs?

Shit through a goose. No paperwork.

- No inspection. - Wasn't cheap, though.

It was worth it. All this stuff is super tech.

Mad science. Reminds me of the old days.

Looks like a goddamn bunny suit.

I bet it's bulletproof.

Yeah? And who's gonna test that bullshit out?

You are.

Don't turn back now.

I think we're onto something.

The henchmen of some vile mastermind

hammering out their heinous night hotcake

and itching to sell.

You're a superhero.

That's what it says on my mailbox... I imagine.

And you're-you're staking them out.

So that-that means that I'm right.

You fingered foul fruit, friend.

Well, do you think it's the Pyramid Gang?

What does it matter? They all work

for the same wretched tyrant.

Wait. You believe that, too?

Evil wears every possible mitten.

- Ready? - No. No, no, no.

Stop, stop, stop.

You can't just go down there. There's, like, a dozen men.

Neat. -No. Look, you can't tip them off, right?

Like you said, they're a bunch of henchmen.

I need to use them

to lead me to the mastermind.

Mastermind. Spidery?

Reclusive?

Evil?

And he's not on the premises?

No, no. I-I can't prove that he's alive, yet.

So you counsel finesse.

Yeah. I... finesse.

What do they call you, chum?

- Arthur. - Arthur.

And this is your costume?

They're my clothes... yeah. Yeah, sure.

Well, we'll cross that bridge after we've burned it.

What is...

Wow. Look at that

three-pound universe chugging away in there.

You got the soup, don't you, Arthur?

We can use that.

Wh-Who are you?

I am The Tick.

The-The Tick?

The Tick.

You feel it, too, don't you, Arthur?

Destiny's warm hand in the small of your back,

pushing, pushing.

She's on a roll tonight.

I-I don't, I don't know.

Destiny!

Huh?

Destiny!

Freeze. Let me see those hands!

There we go. -I'm the good guy, I'm the good guy.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I'm the good guy.

Hands on the car.

I'm the good guy.

The mountain is destroying itself.

The Flag Five has only seconds to act.

Arthur, don't let it melt.

Okay. I'm gonna join them, you know.

Don't you have to be a superhero to do that?

Yeah, you do.

Your mom and your sister should be back soon.

Meter's almost up.

Hang on, okay?

Arthur.

- Arthur... - Uh, yeah. Yes.

- Everest? - Yeah. Arthur Everest, yeah.

Doing some trespassing

on private property, Arthur? Some kind of

unlawful, uh, surveillance.

No, s... that's actually a misunderstanding.

- I told the officer over there. - That you were bird-watching?

There any birds over to the wharf?

At night, I mean?

Gulls, maybe.

But they'd be sleeping.

Gulls, maybe.

Okay. Arthur.

Do you understand why you were brought here? -No.

I don't, actually, because none of this is necessary.

I'm the judge of what's necessary at this point.

All right? So we're going to assess you,

and see if I need to recommend an involuntary psychiatric hold

for a court-approved maximum of 72 hours. -Jesus.

Now, have you been

- taking your medications? - Yeah.

- Yes? - Yes.

And they would be... wow.

Amisulpride along with

- the Celecoxib, am I correct? - Yeah. Yeah, that's correct.

Look...

I'm taking my medication.

I have an apartment here in the city,

my own apartment, you know?

I-I have a job.

I'm a together person.

Arthur, I'm looking over your record and I'm seeing

a long history of incidents