TallBoyz

Hello, everyone.

I'm Bruce McCulloch, executive producer of the Tall Boyz show.

I'm here to announce that the Tall Boyz

have made a three-way trade.

We are sending Vance Banzo to Baroness von Sketch show

for a performer to be named later.

This was a difficult decision.

But a very easy one to make.

Vance, where were you when you heard the news?

Uh, right here... uh, right now.

How do you feel? I, uh...

I think I should answer that.

Um, he feels great.

He knows this is the kind of thing that happens

all the time near trade deadline.

Vance, what can Baroness

expect for you to bring to the table?

Laughter... Uh, joy...

First one to the office...

after everyone's already gotten there.

Last one to leave...

my house to get to the office.

Is there anything you want to say to your former castmates?

From the bottom of my heart, I want you to know...

you can go yourselves!

Especially Guled!

You will never replace me.

Well, we already have.

I'm Franco. I'm Guled.

I'm Tim.

And I'm Peter Mansbridge.

Time for tonight's top sketches.

TallBoyz - S01E05 Wow, Are These Insoles

Yeah.

There you go.

And turn over.

Anything else I can do for you?

How about...

a happy ending?

All right. One happy ending coming up.

- Give him a kiss.

Oh, yeah.

You...

You are my soulmate.

Will you make me the happiest man alive?

Yes.

Dad, sis...

Um...

I was hoping for the other kind of happy ending.

Oh, you mean a real happy ending

with racial equality, gender parity, a living wage,

a strong social safety net, like that?

Um... Yeah.

Great. I'll get the other frog.

Hey, it's me, Tim, coming at you live from the streets of Toronto

to play your new favourite game show, "Is This a Dispensary?"

Here comes someone now.

Would you like to... Oh.

Okay. Uh, hey, hey!

Would you like to answer a few questions?

You might win some money!

Um... Sure, yeah.

Aw, that's what I like to hear!

What's your name, and where are you from?

Uh, I'm Nina. I live in Fergus.

Great. Now, Nina, time for round one.

For $4.20,

do you smoke weed?

Uh, yes, I do, from time to time.

Hell, yeah! That is the correct answer!

Here you go. All right, time for round two.

Nina, for $20.00,

do you have any weed on you right now?

What?

30 seconds on the clock. Oh, uh, no, I don't.

Is that your final answer? Yes.

Yes, you do have some weed?

No, I don't have any weed. Okay.

Oh, unfortunately, that is incorrect.

The answer I was looking for was, "Yes, I do, Tim. Please have some!"

I also would have accepted any hallucinogen you handed me.

What channel is this?

All right, time for round three!

For $80.00... That's four 20s...

All this money can be yours if you can answer

this next question correctly.

- You ready? Yeah.

Here we go!

Is this a dispensary?

Sure, why not?

Well, it could be a café.

I mean, I've been to four cafes today,

thinking they were dispensaries.

I've had three Americanos

and a flat white, you know?

I want the dankest herb, not the darkest roast.

I don't know. It's got a leaf on the front.

Yeah, but I mean, nowadays your trendy dispensary's

virtually indiscernible from your run-of-the-mill

hipster chic boutique.

I guess that's true, but...

Yeah, they all got weird knick-knacks and crystals,

and for some reason just a single rack of clothes?

That's why I'm trying to figure out, is this a dispensary?

Nina?

Nina!

Ah, fa!

You want something done right, you got to do it yourself.

- Hey, is this a dispensary?

Yeah, man. What do you need?

Shit. I gave Nina all of my money.

Hey-hey!

It's time for everyone's new favourite game show:

"How Much Money Will You Give Me For This Microphone?"

To making it happen!

Another Saturday morning with my best friends.

Ah, to be young and carefree.

Actually... I got some big news for y'all.

Sandra and I are having a baby!

What? Oh my God, that's amazing!

Congrats.

At first I was freaking out,

but then we drew up a five-year plan, and...

- What's happening to me? Don't fight it, man.

You're going to the other side. Let go.

Is he dying? Worse.

- He's crossing over. He's becoming an adult.

But I still have so many YouTube videos to watch of guys

getting hit in the nu-u-u...

My God, I thought the other side was just a myth!

It's a real place, Anre!

It's a place where you're in bed by 10 pm,

you compare insurance plans, and you use words like

"fiduciary."

I heard once you go to the other side...

- there's no coming back. Well, I'm never going.

I just got these brand-new kicks

after I received a big tax refund.

Woo-hoo-hoo! Check 'em out.

Nice.

If you're looking for an account,

I know a guy who has a really great rating.

He can do... No, no!

I'm not ready! I'm not ready!

Oh my God! They got Gus!

Good credit and fiscal responsibility will get you

to the other side pretty quickly!

God, I hope I never have good credit.

Shh!

You shouldn't even say those words.

I just realized,

my parents sacrificed so much for me!

They were just children, raising children!

Aah!

What the hell? That kind was like six!

Yeah, but he was wise beyond his years!

Oh, God!

I don't want to go to the other side!

Here. Take these devil sticks.

No one will ever think you're an adult

so long as you have 'em. I got to go.

I'm getting a face tattoo.

Good call. Yeah.

I made an appointment.

I found this coupon. It was like 50% off.

It was like, I have to spend a limit amount...

- - Oh, no!

No!

No...

Where am I?

- Where am I? Hello, Jeremy.

You're one of us now.

I want to go back.

I want to go back! I want to...

Oh!

Wow, are these insoles?

Wow, that's so comfy.

So comfy.

Welcome to the Other Side.

No, stop it! No, you stop it!

Oh, again?

One more time. Watch closely.

Okay. Okay?

Oh, that's easy. I can do it.

Uh-huh. Okay.

- That's not it at all!

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!

Okay, okay, show me again.

What do we do?

What do we do? What do we do?

I don't know, I don't know.

- No, no, okay...

Oh my God! There's four of them!

Aah!

Let's go, let's go, let's go.