Black Mirror

'Georgian rebels claimed responsibility for the Narwhal virus

'that brought Russia's financial infrastructure to near collapse.

'Successful testing of intelligent synthetic flesh

'aimed at getting multiple amputees back on their feet

'is hailed as a major breakthrough.'

Hon?

'Elsewhere...' Ash.

Ash!

Can you take those?

I snotted in yours, is that OK?

Yeah... What?

Palms - burning palms.

Shit! Sorry.

Glove box.

Oh, no, you don't, I draw the line at disco.

What were we just listening to?

No, the Bee Gees wrote that, everybody likes the Bee Gees.

You don't. I do.

Ten years, you haven't played them once.

Have you heard of headphones?

Come on then, what's your favourite Bee Gees track?

How Deep Is Your Love.

You do not like How Deep Is Your Love!

It's perfectly natural, there's nothing wrong with it.

It's not very you.

You're such a dick.

I will crash this van. I will.

I will crash this van on purpose!

Glove box.

Soup all right?

Yeah, great.

Tomato or roasted tomato?

The second one.

There's only one bowl, do you mind having yours out of a shoe?

Mm-hm.

What was that for?

Just checking you're still solid.

You keep vanishing. Down there.

It's a thief, that thing. What are you doing?

Just sharing that.

I thought people might find it funny.

It's not funny. It's sweet.

Trust me, that day wasn't sweet.

We'd gone to a safari park. First family outing after Jack died.

There was monkeys all over the car and no-one saying anything.

Mum drove home, that was a first. When I came down the next morning,

all Jack's photos were gone from that wall.

She put them in the attic.

That's how she dealt with stuff.

And then when Dad died, up went his photos.

She just left this one here.

Her only boy, giving her a fake smile.

She didn't know it was fake.

Maybe that makes it worse.

Oh... Oh, shit...

Oh, shit...

Sorry.

It's OK.

Do you want me to...?

No, it's all right.

I don't mind.

I am knackered though... so...

Don't worry.

Sure?

I'm sure.

I love you.

Love you too.

Hey, get dressed.

Van's got to be back by two or they'll do us for an extra day.

Job's just come in. Needs to be done by the end of play today.

All right.

It is a full page.

No, no, it's fine.

I'll drive all the way there alone...

pick the car up alone... drive all the way back alone...

I have to make my own lunch...

Oh, stop it, you're breaking my heart.

Bye-bye.

'Hi, this is Ash. I'm too busy or lazy to answer,

'so leave your message.'

'Do you have a customer reference number?'

I don't, no. I was just...

'What name is it in?'

Um... Starmer. Ash Starmer.

'OK, just a moment.'

'It's not been returned yet, no,

'and it's meant to be back by two, so...'

They're closed now, no point calling back,

and his just goes straight to messages.

Those batteries are a joke.

He'll be on his way. He's probably just...

I'm just scared something's happened to him.

Nothing's happened.

But something could've happened.

Look, sweetheart, nothing's happened,

you're just working yourself up, imagining the worst possible thing,

and it's just, he's probably stuck somewhere with no reception.

Hey. Hey.

It's not real, is it?

At Mark's wake, I sat there thinking it's not real.

The people didn't look real, their voices weren't real.

It's like you're out on a spacewalk and no-one can...

Sarah.

I can sign you up to something that helps.

It helped me.

It will let you speak to him.

I know he's dead, but it wouldn't work if he wasn't.

And don't worry, it's not some crazy spiritual thing.

He was a heavy user, he'd be perfect...

Please shut up.

I mean, it's still in beta, but I've got an invite...

Please shut up.

You won't have to do anything, I'll just sign you up...

SHUT UP!

Hey, are you all right?

I'm sorry.

I don't care what it is, I don't want it!

It's obscene to use his name. His name, for God's sake!

It hurts, you know it hurts.

Which is why I signed you up.

What is it? W-What is it?

You click the link and you talk to it.

You talk to it?

You type messages in, like an e-mail,

and then it talks back to you, just like he would.

He's dead.

It's software. It mimics him.

You give it someone's name.

It goes back and reads through all the things they've ever said online,

their Facebook updates, their Tweets, anything public.

I just gave it Ash's name. The system did the rest.

It's so clever.

It's... sick. It's sick!

Just say hello to it. If you like it,

you then give it access to his private emails.

The more it has, the more it's him.

It won't be...

No, it's not, but it helps.

Listen, Nay, it's me. Hi. Uh, I really need to speak to you.

Um, can you please call me as soon as you get this?

Hi!

I'm so sorry. I just got your message. What's wrong? what happened?

'Mar?'

Mar, are you OK?

Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine, I just, I just... I had a bad one earlier.

D'you want me to come and visit? I'm going to come and visit.

'No, it's OK, really, I'm...'

Mar, you're upset. I'm going to come and see you.

No. No, don't.

I'm OK. I promise you I'm OK.

'I've got to go, I've got a deadline.'

Are you sure?

It's a tight deadline, got to be in by dawn, so... I'd better go.

Well, if you have...

Bye, Nay.

Hello, I've locked myself out of the house again.

Wait, where are you going?

Hello. I'm no good at birthday presents.

'So...'

'..how am I sounding?'

'Hello?'

Hello! You sound just like him.

'Almost creepy isn't it?

'I say creepy,

'I mean, it's totally batshit crazy I can even talk to you.

'I mean, I don't even have a mouth.'

That's... that's just...

'Just what?'

That's just the sort of thing that he would say.

'Well, that's why I said it.'

I think I'm going mad.

'I won't tell anyone if you don't.'

'You're not crying, are you?'

Sorry.

You always said that I looked weird when I cried.

'Did I? I sound like a right sick fuck.'

Yeah, you were. You were.

'But in a good way?'

Yeah. Yeah. In a good way.

So I went in, after all your persuasion,

and then like straightaway I got a spine of a sea anemone or something

stuck in my foot, and you threw a jeb thinking it was poisonous.

'What's "threw a jeb"?'

Oh, it's um, it's a phrase we had, like throwing a fit.

'Oh, OK, so I "threw a jeb".'

Yeah, and you were looking in a guidebook, trying to figure out

if there were any poisonous sea creatures in Greece,

when this local guy comes over and says,

"My wife knows what to do,

"come back to my house." Although he wasn't French, obviously.

I used to hate walking in the country.

'You must be getting old.'

Oi.

I remember you brought me up here when we first met your mum.

We'd been at hers all weekend

and you could tell I needed some headspace.

You were good like that.

'You speak about me like I'm not here.'

Sorry.

'It's all right. I mean, I'm not, really.'