The Office

We gotta clear out this cabinet, people.

A lot of these are dead accounts.

"Scranton Mimeograph Corp"?

I don't think we're doing business with them anytime soon.

That's odd.

A letter from Robert Dunder.

"A valuable artifact has come into my possession.

I have hidden it until such time as a person

of strong intellect may safely recover it.

This golden chalice is of immeasurable historical

and religious significance."

The Holy Grail.

Did you send Dwight on a quest for the Holy Grail?

I think I'm a little too busy these days to s--

Oh, my God.

I did send Dwight on a quest for the Holy Grail.

The Dunder Code!

I completely forgot about that prank.

That had to be, like, six or seven years ago.

Stayed late every night for a month.

Had a lot more free time back then.

I don't get it.

Aha!

A lightbulb.

- Lightbul-- - A lightbulb!

Okay. Okay.

Invisible ink.

Whoa.

"Higher than numbers go."

The ceiling above accounting!

Dwight! Down, Dwight!

Dwight!

Man, I wish I was there to see his face when he gets to the end

and finds the... fake grail?

No grail?

You don't remember?

I don't.

An X.

Annex.

It must open something in the annex.

Oh.

Whoa.

"Sedes introiti."

Seat of entrance.

- What? - What?

That's a flush.

All: The warehouse.

There's nothing down here.

Oh, I expected more from young Halpert.

Let's just forget it.

Forget it.

So how are we getting on

with our grand social media initiative?

Well, we created a fake profile for a really cool guy

- named Derek McBlack. - Wow.

- It's just Pete in sunglasses. - Oh.

And then we had him "like" Dunder Mifflin.

Then we created a bunch of fake friends for Derek,

and we had all of them "like" Derek's "likes."

So far, we're only popular with imaginary people,

but we think this is the start of something big.

You two are geniuses.

And I am a genius putting you two together.

All right.

Pete and I work well together--

not that there's anything special about Pete.

It could be any guy... or girl--

not that I'm into girls.

Not that I'm into Pete.

Ugh, what was the question?

- Hey. - Hey, Jim.

Peter Rowley at Bridgeport Capital

- requested a meeting at lunch. - Okay.

Can we keep it on the early side, though?

I got that thing in Scranton later.

- Oh, sure. - No problem.

Cece's ballet recital is today.

I cannot wait.

I've been working with her on her move.

It's called the Cece spin and kiss.

Do you want to see it? It's kind of like this.

It's pretty cute, right?

Pfft, "Athlead"?

Please.

They're too lazy to call it athletes lead?

Jim should just call it "stumpany,"

for "stupid company."

Nothing stupid about working for yourself,

hanging out with pro athletes,

getting free tickets to the games.

That's why I'm doing it.

You're working for "stumpany" too?

Yeah, just weekends for now,

but pretty soon I'm switching over.

- What? - Yep.

Hey, Halpert, what's the big idea?

First you jump ship. Now you're stealing Darryl too.

When will it end?

Well, take your worst fear

and multiply it by infinity.

You won't stop until you've poached us all.

- Yeah. Even you. - No.

I'll be damned if I'm gonna let us lose me.

Bye, Dwight.

- How are you? Good to see you. - Thank you.

Hey, Angela?

Did you hear

about the Irish-American Cultural Center mural?

Ooh, I haven't heard it.

So what about the Irish-American Cultural Center mural?

Potato?

Oh, no, Kevin, it's not a joke.

Angela's husband put me up for a-- um, just never mind.

I have no information.

But I'm sure as soon as they know,

they'll call you.

Senator Lipton helped me submit my design

for a new mural on a building downtown.

Now I'm just waiting to hear from the selection committee.

But, you know, let's be realistic.

There are a ton of great artists in Scranton

with way more experience.

I mean, who are they gonna go with--

some nobody like me or a big name like Tracy Fleeb?

Well, I'm heading out to Cece's dance recital.

Aw.

Hey, Cece, daddy's gonna have dinner with us tonight

after he comes to your recital.

- Are you excited? - Yeah.

Let's call him.

Hey. I was just about to call you.

Hey, hon, are you close?

I am still in Philly, actually.

- What? - It's insane.

This huge investor got cold feet,

so I'm stuck here trying to keep him on board.

Hon, I wish you would have told me an hour ago,

when you knew you weren't gonna make it.

Pam, I couldn't get out.

I barely made it out just to make this phone call.

- I want daddy. - You're gonna do great.

And you know what? Mommy's gonna record it.

So we'll watch it together.

- Do you mind doing that, Pam? - Of course.

Okay. Are you sure you know how to do video on the phone?

Yes, Jim, I think I know

how to point a rectangle at something.

Okay, okay, you know, just sometimes

you're not the best with the phone.

I know how to operate my phone, okay?

Listen, we're getting close.

We will talk to you later.

Say, "bye, daddy."

- Bye, daddy. - Bye.

Yep. See, you still got to press "end," Pam.

Press "end."

Oh, check it out. This is our first real "like."

- Oh, my gosh. - Oh!

All right, Alan Olifson from North Dakota.

He also likes hammermill and Georgia Pacific.

Wow. That guy's really into paper.

- Yeah. - Well done, you two.

We did it.

- Youth task force forever. - Yes.

Bup, bup, bup, bap.

And then-- oh, wait.

- No, you go-- - Did I-- is that you?

You go first, and then it's a left turn.

No, you go-- okay. All right, all right.

- Okay, start over. - Oh, no, no, no, no.

Oh, God. Andy has just started to be nice to me,

and now I've sent his girlfriend into the arms of a younger man.

And I CC'd him on every incriminating memo.

"Pete and Erin, don't hold back.

Our social media presence should be hot, hot, hot.

Go at it vigorously."

I did everything but unzip their pants for them.

Oh, God, Nellie.

Hey, everybody.

Uh, coffee order is going around-- on me.

Just sign your name below.

- You're welcome. - Wait.

This says "Dunder Mifflin Loyalty Pledge"?

This-- uh, what? Double mocha latte, please?

You got it. Just sign your name below.

- Whatever you want. - "Loyalty Pledge"?

Come on, Dwight, stop overreacting.

I'm getting all my work done here.

No customers have complained. Nobody even knows.

Yeah, we'll see about that.

Bust out your complaint files.

I need everything you got on Darryl

since he started working for Jim in the last few weeks.

Break it down by keyword, okay?

"Infuriating, irresponsible"...

They got us set up with Windows 95,

so you're kind of dreaming here.

Okay, I'm gonna need you to print it out.

Customer loyalty, what is it?

Can you hold it in your hand?